Life According To Jon

Haiyo

2012-02-01T00:53:00.001+08:00

Tsk tsk, only end of January already and I no motivation. How survive Term 3... *headbang* Start of the year wah, do ALL the homework! Now more like, meh... Actually I realise January end quite fast...

9 more months...

And still so many problems haven't sort out.

I think too many people put on a parade. Just for appearing to be good people. It's like a super-talented person act modestly. I don't know lah, maybe it's good. Sometimes it's annoying. Lost chances. Everyone needs courage, but how many actually go all out?

Haiz

And now I'm looking at my bro's rankless No. 4 and thinking, if only can go back to last time. No worries. No hurt. No constant mindfuck over what's the right thing to do.

Affirmation's Air Knights team. Finally a purpose. Something to smile about. :)

Haiyo...

Good Night

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Another New Year

2012-01-23T23:33:00.002+08:00

Haiyo not posting enough. Just finished my English compre, still got another set of homework. And I'm going visiting tomorrow. MAYBE I should've done it over the weekend. MAYBE. Sneaky teachers...

Sometimes I wonder if everything I do is going to be wasted. The most common phrase this weekend seems to be "Oh Sec 4 already ah? O levels right? Good luck ah!" *Hands me ang pao*

*thinking to myself: I need all the luck I can get* If everything I do go down the drain, I don't know what I'll do. Cry? Scream? Commit myself to an eternity of silence? Slap Mr Quay? Hear too many horror stories already.

Wah stress.

But cannot be leh... I don't know lah. It's like, the last few days I just feel damn frustrated for no apparent reason. Just need to find someone to scold/punch/stab/kick/*insert violent action here* So yeah. But now also not supposed to be stress period yet. School's barely started...

I thought everything would be fine. Am I getting disappointed over nothing again? Need to find someone to blame for all the trouble I've caused, yet I know that hey, I need to look in the fucking mirror.

I don't want to be an old man filled with regret, waiting in a room for someone to wash ashore and bring me out of limbo.

And now it's everyone for themselves. I don't think I'll even be able to outline the book I wanna write. Got so many ideas in my head, but procrastinating and still haven't put it down.

Haiz, want win more money also cannot, cos no one to gamble with. Haha greedy much. It seems like everyone else so close with their relatives.. all I do is eat dinner with them. I hardly even get to see my extended family on my mother's side. All my cousins there are so old alreadyyy....

Tsk tsk

Good Night

Snowballing

2012-01-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

Wah kao, so long haven't blog already. MUST be because of homework, not that I too lazy. Pfft, now Wen Bin interrupting me.

Haiya

Anyway, so early I feel like dying liao. I think Tuesdays are the worst. First of all, got Chinese remedial, either do Paper 1 or 2. I prefer Paper 2 lor, Paper 1 is seriously mind-killing. In the end today's Paper 1 I also never finish... then after that violin from 5.15 to 6.15. Siao eh, plus my violin teacher always scold me. Haiz, can't wait to finish exam to free up my time. Hope I get good result for Grade 8 also... After violin still got Aural from 7-8pm. Therefore, we can conclude that Tuesdays are totally screwed up. Already can feel the stress piling on.

And I think I give up Chem le. UHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... yeap. Join Tseng, problem solved. I seriously no hope for it le. I don't know why other people say AT very good. Maybe he really good, but I for one can't understand anything for nuts.

In other depressing news, we got damn little people who put first choice. I don't know lah, relatively it's not that little. But we've always relied on the fact that having a larger pool to choose from would be better. Can blame a lot of things lah, becuase honestly speaking, I think the hard-selling was quite effective. All we needed was to enforce it into their brains. But too bad, this year exhibition walkabout format, hardly anyone came to our stall. Plus, it was so frigging windy I couldn't fly the kite. So everything we said all wasted, forgotten. Haiya... *headbang*

Then now what, another retard come out make Singaporeans look like shit. Adelyn trend on Twitter, Aaron Tan video so many people see, Steven Lim joke of the decade, Ris Low don't know how speak English... now got what, some Amos Yee. Whatthefugg lah. Think he such a big shit. Diss this novel, that novel. Go write your own goddamn book lah, I see how well you can write. What shit, say "dumb mother" then show a picture of Taylor Swift. Dumbfuck. What's worse is that adults actually seem impressed by his supposed intellect and maturity. So bleeping out "sex" is mature lah. And complaining that Pride & Prejudice doesn't have any sex scenes. Bullshit, love story need sex scene is it? Bloody hell, someone needs to show that guy just how bloody stupid he is. And annoying.

Good Night

Hope and faith

2012-01-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

Because isn't that what everyone clings to?

She points through the hole into the dark throat of the diseased landscape.
''I think you're more dangerous than what's out there''
''Well, little girl,'' he says, ''that's a funny thing you just uttered. Because I was just not thinkin the same thing about you''

That's from The Reapers are The Angels. Not the most nicest book to me, but definitely one of the most impactful. I guess I can relate a lot to Temple. I think one day if there ever is a zombie apocalypse, I just might turn out like her. Except I don't hope to end up like her at the end of the book, six feet under. She understands who she is and loathes herself all the more for it. She does what is required, but loves and hates it at the same time. The profound-ness of it all really hits home. Struggling and struggling against a desolate world and yourself. They say your greatest enemy is yourself. How true..

There is no such thing as good people, just people who don't do evil.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to dwell on any more of such unpleasantries, but seeing as how school is so sian... well...

At least we have an extended recess. I appreciate the move, but I don't think it's good. I don't know why, but the easiest explanation I can give is that it's not fair when other schools only have like 20mins. That's not really why I dislike it, but I dunno... it just feels... wrong. Like wasting too much time.. Well at least Mr Ng does a good enough job. Although I do miss both Mrs Lim and Mr Teo. Such epic teachers.. and Mr Thomas seems okay too.. hope I survive.

I think I suspected it early enough. And although I was hoping otherwise... well fate had something different planned. Emotions are a funny thing aren't they? It's things like these that make me glad I didn't acquiesce. I'm not gonna rip someone apart just to stall my own self-destruction. You'll never get it, no one ever does. All I can say is you just need to close yourself up for awhile an flush out the demons in your mind. Cleanse yourself then starts anew. The world has always succeeded through trial and error. If you keep harping on the same mistake, you're a fool who's getting yourself nowhere. Just hurting yourself.

I think I'll try writing a book. After all the post-apocalyptic stories, I have some ideas... just something to destress me when I have free time..

Good Night.

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311211

2011-12-31T01:21:00.001+08:00

This is probably the last post I'll make for the year. It doesn't really feel like the last day of 2011. Next thing I know it I'll be waking up at 6am and realising ''Omg, this is it. The first step on the road to O Levels'' It really feels like time flies too fast. And all I can look back on this year is with regret. I wish I had more time to set things right. I wish there was something or someone I could be happy about. I wish I had worked so much harder. I wish complacency didn't cost me that coveted dream. All wishes now, just futile dreams and regrets. What I could've done. What I didn't. What I wasted time on. The people I've hurt. The disappointments, of which there were many. And yet I can try to find solace in the good. Digging up those memories is like trying to carve stone with your hands. Too much regret, not enough appreciation? I found God. I found true friends. I've grown as a person, whether for good or for bad. I can try to take lessons from the past. I've been doing that all along, even if I wish I didn't have to do so.

4 months will fly by and POP will arrive. I think I dread that almost as much as O Levels. What I should've done better. Places I've screwed up. My fair share of disappointments in NCC. Friendships, idiots to hate, mentors... I don't think I've lived up to what you expected of me. I'm sorry, I really am. I know I should have done better. You would have. You might still think I'm a self-absorbed ingrate. This is my last apology to you.

And I'm actually looking forward to Sec 4. Kind of. I might even enjoy the studying. For once, external distractions will be minimised and I get to lose myself. I'm determined not to cheat myself this time. Sick of being told not good enough. Sick of the fear that I'll disappoint myself again. Not this time bitch.

And you. One of the few people I can count on in a world gone to hell. You helped me through the toughest shit I've gone through. But I can't help you if you put up walls. When it happened, you didn't tell anyone. I don't suppose that's bad, but just be careful you don't implode. Trust me, I know how you feel. The self-loathing will get you one day. It's gotten me faster than I thought. No one can run forever.

I don't mind if 21/12/2012 comes true. After all that I've done with my life, or lack thereof, I don't think it'll make much of a difference.

Good Night

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Ragnarok

2011-12-22T20:32:00.001+08:00

I'm really bored so I'm blogging well... now. So I'm going to do random commentaries on random stuff.

Ugh... raining too much again lately.
So something I've been thinking about lately has somewhat to do with the Aaron Tan thingy. More specifically, Faded Holy Soldier. Although I've actually thought about it during the GE this year, I think I've only deigned to talk about it after seeing some stuff on FHS's video. Cos if you watched his third video, he starts criticising our government, and then on the comments there're Singaporeans who also rant off about the government. And first thing I realised among certain youths like myself is that they support the opposition just to defy the apparent status quo. Just to be different. Difference has started trends, especially in fashion. Just look at Gaga and the like. So yeah... they support the opposition just because its.. well.. the opposition. Without even knowing what the other side offers. I mean, granted, no government is perfect, and neither is ours. There's many things we can complain about it. But if you think and compare to other countries, I'd say we're doing rather well cos of our government. And before anyone accuses me of being brainwashed, PREASE, I'm being completely objective here. So I think Singaporeans should stop blindly complaining about our government. Want complain, go ahead, but make sure you get your facts right, and learn to appreciate the privilege we have in being Singaporean. Want to find something to complain about? Go to the Middle East or North Korea then, where ultimate censorship prevails and you're shot or jailed for complaining.

Which moves me on to my 2nd point, that Singaporeans complain too much. Since the SMRT incident, you see people raging left right and center. Anger and frustration is justifiable, but only up to a certain point. Post a status to rage, make fun of it... etc. That's as much as it goes. You don't have to keep complaining about it like SMRT is a piece of shit and life became 'so much worse'' because of the the breakdown. Yeah, SMRT screwed up, but get off their backs while they try to get their thing together. How is anyone from SMRT able to fix anything if they have to keep responding to public complaints? 1 screwed up incident does not a company's reputation make. Just look at their track record, it speaks for itself. And what's all the stuff about a petition for SPH to step down? In the first place, she's not directly in charge of maintainence and whatnot. Secondly, it's not like the entire system was compromised. So let her oversee the repairs, apologise to Singaporean commuters, and let's all get on with our lives. It's like if in a school one day, the water supply or gas supply suddenly screws up. You're not going to petition to get the principal removed right? So appreciate the generally seamless service SMRT has been giving us for the last few years and just stop hammering them like its the end of the world.

I keep wondering if I just destroyed something important..

Good Night

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Cannot make it

2011-12-20T00:45:00.001+08:00

Gosh, I haven't blogged in like, over a week. If anything, I think I've been playing too much COD till quite late, so paisehhhh...

-.- Shouldn't have downloaded Temple Run on my dad's iPad. He plays it nearly everyday now..

I think my mind's cleared up enough for me to talk properly about this. And I don't know if you're going to read this, but I think both of you will.

To person number 1. Thanks for sending me that, even though I was kinda surprised also. And I guess I'm glad you did, cos it's troubled me before, and yeah, I sometimes do miss those times, even if they weren't the easiest, cos at least I knew I could count on you. Haiz, I wanted to wish you good luck for your Os, but I can't remember what I was preoccupied with. Sorry :P and I'm writing all this here because you know I'm not very good at talking directly to people lol. I know I should've tried harder also, but hey, at least you're not still trying to tear out my throat so yeah! Good luck, whatever JC you go to.

And I think I should be apologising to someone else. Although I feel strangely calm right now. I've still been thinking still, and I'll just add on that: I'm not ready. I'm sorry. And I'll never be good enough. I've disappointed more people than you think. Trust me, I'm not worth the time and effort. But I've already said a lot, so I'll just stop here.

Haiz, tmr supposed to have SSC platoon outing, land up so little people can make it. I think OBS was much nicer though.. more days, plus there really was time to bond, so yeah, I'm actually looking forward to the gathering (At Daryn's house, I think? Lol, he's a really... amusing person)

Aghh noo.. I wanna follow New Girl, especially cos Zooey Deschanel is totally adorable. But I always land up forgetting *facepalm* and not like I torrent also enough time to watch..

Soooo not looking forward to Sec 4. And I STILL haven't bought my books. *headbang*

Good Night

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Present

2011-12-11T01:53:00.001+08:00

Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

It's getting kind of hard to do that, to appreciate ''now''. I keep thinking of what I'm going to do, what'll happen, and what if things don't go how I'd like it to.

Yesterday too tired to blog about the 61st POP, so here it is.

I think the fact that there was a screw up even before I entered HQ was already a foreshadow of the actual thing. The NSF gave me the female top -.- I pin all the buttons then realise ''eh wtf? Why no pocket'' So I chionged to HQ to faster change the top. Change already still got some time so I went to see the 11th PDS AI.. apparently both of my guys failed T.T But lucky Friday had retest, but only Jacob passed. Feel damn sad for Kenneth.. so after that went to draw items. First rehearsals went ok bah. But SM caught my hair, so that night I had to book out to go cut it. Nearest place was AMKHub. My hair is frigging short now -.- when I got back they prepping to go out buy food, so they jio me follow. In the end everyone buy so much food, next day also cannot finish. Next day wake up already, rehearsal started around the stated time. But that morning was damn hot, and the 61st already had pre-training, so during the rehearsals alot of them fell out. After that rehearsal, boom, everything haywire. No instructions, ended up stoning for hours. Halfway through the next rehearsal, Cat 1, whoom, everyone faster zao. In the end total only 3 rehearsals. Actual thing went ok for the parade. Managed to find Daniel, Ying Wei and Li Xin. Kinda stupid that none of them are even from my unit. I still can't get over the fact that AGAIN, we have no CLTs. Wonderful.

Now onto rage mode about the other conducting spec. Like, WTF MAN. WTF. During rehearsal screw up, nvm. Cannot shout, nvm. Missing right up to the rehearsal, nvm. But she still can tell me to do what. I say nvm, I watch you to start. ''Ok'', she says. Actual thing, march past starting already, still DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SHIT SHE'S DOING. OMG man, I seriously pity Luqman. Blur as don't know what, and NO ONE could bloody hear her. Luqman could do it 10 freaking times better. Haiz..

At least the syndicate performances were good.

Felt like a complete retard after the parade. Why ask, man?

I wonder who would watch my COC POP, if I got in. No one comes to mind.

To top it off, I have a bad feeling about next year's AAWC. The new DC... *shudders*

Next year promises to be a grim one. Hooray.

Good Night

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Confirmation Camp

2011-12-06T01:57:00.001+08:00

And oh, I'm running to Your arms~~

Gosh, the weather right now is so nice I could just asleep halfway.

I have Forever Reign stuck in my head. Awesome.

ANYWAYS, I think it really was meant for me to go for confi camp. After I missed out on both Pearce and the dining in I was like: if I missed those, confi camp better be frigging awesome. And it was! Haha :D I was thinking wah, if I so suay just to go for the full camp, confirm is other People working. And right now I really believe that everything has a balance. You can have nothing, but somehow or other, you will gain everything else.

So like first day, I arrived slightly earlier than the rest. Then I was stoning outside the retreat house wondering how camp would go. So after everyone else arrived, sort out into group then more or less the normal intro stuff. I was with Edmund, Ryan, Chris, Raya and Annabelle. Chessina (I think that's how you spell?) was supposed to be in my group, but I heard alot of Lourdes people pon, so I guess she was one of them. So Chris Sim landed up in my group. Starting was kinda awkward cos Fernando was kinda nervous also. The other 2 facils Greg and Zoa weren't there yet cos they had school. Then Brother Jude gave his talk. In between got a lot of P&W sessions also. That night was like a preview of day 2, with all the intense praying and stuff. Next day we had games and all, which was superhappyfuntime. Especially the water bomb! And the broken telephone was damn epic. The first one was ''Brother Jude'', then everyone kept pointing to Greg, and the letter ''I'' on his t-shirt *facepalm* Almost no link. So after that we had confession.. I thought it would be more meaningful, but the priest was... haiz... just say all the normal stuff, so the confession felt very ''normal''. AND THEN, we had the night session. Everyone was kinda nervous and scared, cos the facils were all like hardcore preparing for it. Once the thing started, I kinda made up my mind beforehand actually. So after my turn, I was like ''whoah''.. then I look around and saw Tan crying. In my mind I heard someone say ''It's ok. See? Even Tan also'' and I think that's the point where everything came out. All the stuff I've been bottling up the last few months, all the shit that's happened recently, the confusion.. I think it was the first time I've cried about something happy. Actually not happy. It was more like... overwhelmed.

Haiz.. (I just realised I'm saying ''haiz'' more). Then I saw an ant on the carpet, so I picked it up and named it Bruce. Just because I felt like it.

So after that we had some testimonies. I'm not saying mine here. But it was at that point that I finally realised that everything happens for a reason. As in REALLY understood it. And I find it kind of funny that Christiane was also in a similar situation. Like she also applied to go overseas, but also didn't get in.

I guess all along in matters about Catholicism, I've always known ''I should do this'' or ''I should do that'' but never really got the guts. Cos I was scared people would think stuff about me. Like ''since when Jon Chew like that one O.o'' haha. But there, you find that it doesn't really matter at all.

Gosh, I wish I could just live in the retreat house for like, FOREVER. And just forget the outside world. And have P&W everyday! Haha.

I seriously hope I can maintain this. I think facilitating next year's camp sounds good. I have a feeling this is the start of something awesome in SBC.

PG!

Good Night.

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Again

2011-12-02T00:30:00.001+08:00

Haiz, I just thought of Brom. Angela (ironic urh?) The Herbalist read his wyrd (fate) to be that he would fail at everything except one thing. Anyone recognise the Eragon reference?

Because dangling something and pulling it away at the last moment can break a person. It really does. And I thought this would be the thing that would make up for Pearce, or rather, the lack of it. It's not really due to the fact that I couldn't go. Rather, it's more because I put so much into it. I really did want to do it, no matter how nervous. And all I wanted to do was just scream. Because again, AGAIN, something's slipped out of my fingers. Wasted 4 hours just travelling to the damn camp and back. Wonderful.

Well, at least I've sort of gotten used to the disappointment. Maybe I just shouldn't expect anything much next time. Tried out Wendy's Baconator on the way home to comfort myself. I think people were staring at me cos I was acting really weird..

Haiz..

Con Camp tomorrow, I suddenly feel nervous about it. Ze Bin, if anything happens, you can be sure I won't give a damn about the overseas charges.

Short post bah, I'm tired ><

Good Night

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OBS Day 4-5

2011-11-27T01:54:00.001+08:00

Nabei lah stupid blind linesman cost us 2 points... lucky shits. Draw like that still want celebrate. Gfy

Day 4
So that day we were going for the kayaking expedition. At first we thought we going Causeway first cos the other 2 groups went there. But cos of weather conditions we were supposed to only go around Pulau Ketam once before heading for Camp 2. Morning was damn screwed up cos it was hardcore muddy and everyone was cold and wet so unpitching the tents was like some shit. Then by right supposed to leave at 7am. But no one giving instructions so we all blur, delay until 7.45 like that before Muru came and took over. Landed up launching off at 8.15. The kayaking itself nothing much. I was together with Enzo and Long Boon which was like some hardcore imba shit. Haha then Fazli was the Cheng Ho navigator but he couldn't read the map. So enzo tanked everything. And we had to keep waiting for the behind people to catch up. Near the end it started raining a bit but it stopped after a while :P After we cleared our stuff thank God the instructors let bathe. Hardcore shiok sia that night the dinner. We had so much food left over so we tried cooking our own buffet. I was like damn guilty cos I was stoning through the first part of the cooking cos I didn't know what to do. Then I saw the Maggie no one cooking so I tanked that :P Had a feast :D 15 mess tins worth of Maggie, 5 mess tins of (burnt) rice, 3 mess tins of sardine, 2 mess tins of rendang, 1 mess tin of lo han chye, mushrooms and corn ^^ awesome

Day 5
Basically today clearing our stuff from the store and inventory check. Supposed to have dry activity, but lucky cancelled cos of rain. I only had 1 pair of long pants haha. Then we had a scare cos some stuff missing, but heng ah other groups had extra to cover up. Then we did the Johari's Window. I ended up getting a lot of ''friendly', but one guy say I emo hahaha wtf. We also got back our group photo. But Azfar not insideeeee! >< Haiz, how cool to see that in the photo we all strangers, but when we get it back, we all become friends :) After we got back to Punggol I queue up to buy the shirt. Screw up sia everyone keep cutting queue. Took me 1hr plus just to move through a 15m long queue -.- Heng ah got Ze Bin to lend me money. Then when I queueing I saw Chin Teng behind but 20mins later he in front of me buying shirt le lol..

Haiz, didn't have a proper goodbye.. but I think we'll be meeting up Daryn's house when he comes back :P freaking rich sia that guy

Went HQ today for the last aero session before the new DC comes in.. then they all buy stuff for her, I feel so guilty.. haha then Daniel woke up late, but tue moment he knew got food wah, he chiong to HQ. Mdm treated us to pizza, so nice :) and Jon Ho gave her flowers omg!! Hahahaha. Nvm, I'll get something for her ceremony instead :D too bad it rained so I flew about 2-3 times only :(

I guess that's about all bah..

Good Night

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OBS Days 1-3

2011-11-26T01:59:00.001+08:00

I mean come on, what else is there to talk about? :D

Day 1
This was kinda boring cos we were stoning at the reception center for like 3 hours. Just did the normal intros and got out our stuff... haha I volunteered for Medic :P Didn't want do Day IC cos I didn't know what to expect. So after we reached Camp 2 we shifted all our stuff into the store and went for our kayaking practise, which was just learning the basics and doing capsize drill :P

Day 2
We had rock climbing that day and were supposed to wear long pants again. Sia lah, I only got 1 pair for the whole camp. Fuuuuuu. Landed up wearing my soaking wet track pants. But the rock climbing was fun. First time climbing an overhang :D The overhang in school is too hard >( once that one finish we packed all our expedition stuff and moved over to the campsite at Punggol. Dinner was kinda fun cos we sort of knew each other so Anda was talking.. alot. Then again, she always finds some way to make everything fun for everyone haha :D That night was kinda screwed cos the night before we didn't have the netting. So that night 3.30am started raining and enzo woke us to bring our stuff in. That was when I felt the mosquito bites. Spent like the next 2.5 hours just scratching them ><

Day 3
This was the actual Land Expedition day. The night before it was more or less Long Boon, Chin Teng, Enzo and me who planned it. So since everyone had to take turns to navigate we gave the first shift to Nasihah, who promptly set off to the road. We all didn't know could use the park connector :P Lucky Muru told us and we got a headstart on Cheng Ho. Wah the backpacks were hardcore screwed up. Then since my bag was much lighter I decided to hand carry the tent a the way T.T The worst part was the islands Pulau Punggol. That stretch took us an hour, the the whole place was like some hardcore ulu place :P Then Long Boon commando also saikang alot haha. We reached the campsite around like 1.15pm. Stupid weather sia, downpour started right after we pitched the tents. So all we could do was sit in them and watch water leak through. That was seriously like total hell. All of us were soaked, and the were pools of water in the tent. Lift up your bags water started gushing out like siao. 2 tents collapsed and most of us ended up hugging our legs to ourselves :P Cooking was damn screwed also cos all of us were cold and shivering. Really appreciate my dry, clean bed now :D Then the girls conspired with us by telling us about the mosque further in, cos by right must use the bushes.. but by left, we organise some mass toilet trip to the mosque. During sentry duty saw Yi Ling, Gerald amd Aida staying by the beached kayaks. Me and Long Boon decided stay, cos trust must me, the tents were HELL.

I think I'll finish up Day 4&5 tomorrow bah, my eyes are closing alr :P plus, still going HQ for Ma'am's goodbye aero session. Maybe shd've bought something for her :P

Good Night

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Bleh

2011-11-14T00:07:00.001+08:00

It just suddenly feels like I'm getting disappointed by others... all along, I guess I try not to let anything get to me. And it's hard not to say anything after a while. But I try.

Bleh.

Leadership Camp was sort of a success, more so for the Part Bs bah. The whole camp turned out to be Lucas, Ze Bin, Me tank. Lucky Jerevis and Xiang Bin still came to help. The NCOs mostly stayed in the bunk playing DoTA.... sucks not to have CLTs. It really does. Leadership Camp supposed to be CLT organise. It shouldn't be the NCOs worrying ''what if this went wrong''. I'm not going to fly into a rant about the downward spiral of NCC. But for those who are in NCC, I think you'll understand. Kinda ironic how suddenly our batch got so many people want to go COC. I'm guessing Sir Goh's never had that problem before.

Day 1's C&C was ok I guess. Disappointed by some people, while others did rise to the occasion. Trying my best to consider posts for them, seeing as this year's Part As....and I'm worried about next year's batch as well. After that went to HQ for TOC POP. Already kinda lost my voice by then, so it was hard trying to figure how much voice to use until the actual thing. Got pissed off by a lot of people. But then again, maybe they were just trying to be... helpful. But I can't help feeling like he's an asshole. Really. Why do people get what they don't deserve ._. I could've been much more grateful and done more of what I wanted to do with that extra stripe. Another ''if only''... then at night I couldn't rush back in time for the lectures cos SOMEONE took damn long to arrive for the parade. Ze Bin went to eat with the AIs so I ended up going back to school alone. Then at night Mdm Lau caught the others playing DM and confiscated them... AGAIN. Run 1 round get 1 card back. Played frisbee while waiting for them run finish. After that felt like running, but needed to run 1 in the end only lol. Finish alr kena lecture until 2.30am. Slept at 3am. Wonderful.

Next day more or less ok... Mutuals in the morning, tests, plus Laserquest. Amazing Race was at night. Haha Laserquest was screwed up cos the guns' accuracy were headbang worthy. Was damn scared something would go wrong for the Amazing Race. Land up once I ''GO!'', all the teams found the clues at the first station even before Ze Bin and I left it. Hah, and we were afraid the clues were too hard to find -.- The first team reached my station in like 20mins. TWENTY. And my station was like number 5 or 6. But suay ah, that team couldn't find out which control surface I screwed up, became the last team to leave the station. Overall timing was 1hr20mins, but the previous teams finished in 1hr I think. But generally, quite happy with the way the race turned out. Really hope the Part Bs can do better next year :) Marked their Air Syllabus papers until 1am. Some of the answers provided some comic relief. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

3rd Day nothing much, although we kinda had like some rant session with Sir Jon. I seriously don't like what NCC is becoming already...

Thats about it bah. Tomorrow got OBS pre-course briefing...

Good Night

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Disappointment

2011-11-04T22:34:00.001+08:00

I guess I should be used to it by now. Post interview, PDS Comp, AIR Comp, Council, SSC... and now this. I'm not angry anymore. I just have to accept the fact that hey, I'm not good enough. Just. Not. Enough.

And I feel the feeling I can compare to most now is right after they did the final shortlist for Council. Because it just feels like I've wasted... everything. Wasted my time, wasted my effort. All down the drain. Working my ass off going to school nearly every week for meetings, painting the banner, open house... and it just feels so... ''AGHHHH'' Y'know what I mean? But I refuse to be disenchanted with NCC. It's still my life. Nothing's changed. I texted ma'am today to ask why I didn't get in. Just a form of... closure. To find out what went wrong, and if there's another chance for IACE, hey, I would've learnt something from the failure at Pearce. And indirectly, I guess my post had something to do with it. Contributions to the school. And she explained it rather eloquently, I must say. No surprise she's the DC lol. But ''what if''s are useless now. And hey, if other people benefit more, then all more I shouldn't take their place. And I mean that. If I looked at it another way, wouldn't be unfair if so many aero people got in, and I didn't just because I wasn't one? (Hypothetically speaking) So hey, that's life I guess.

But it's just that... indignant feeling because after coming down so many extra Saturdays for aero, it would've been nice to know someone appreciated it. I go for aero because I love it, and not for rewards or anything. But it would've just been... nice y'know? But who knows, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.

The ironic thing is, I never wanted to choose to skip confirmation camp. And I now it's not like I have any option. Go ahead and laugh at me, cos I know I want to. Maybe God wants me to go for the camp? He works in mysterious ways haha :)

I refuse to be turned into a sobbing mass of flesh. I believe something good will come out of this :)

And now, some COD to distract me

Good Night

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Choices

2011-11-02T00:25:00.001+08:00

We are the choices we make - Mistress Coyle

A simple quote, yet one of the deepest ones. Love it :)

I guess everyone's had that 左右为难 situation before. If you haven't, I can only say lucky you. This isn't really about Pearce (Which, by the way, I still haven't gotten the results for). It's more in general. The choices you make, make YOU. To leap, or to hold back. To lash out, or to calm down. To stand up for the right thing, or 若无其事. (Homygod I'm using chinese. Someone check if the sky turned green). I've been tearing my hair up. Just moody over the last few days. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Maybe. But it's hard to tell with both things so close to you. I'll just leave it up to God I guess.

Which comes to the exact point Steve Jobs made. People DO NOT KNOW what they actually want. Like the example in RTS. When people with irrevocable situations were happier than those who could alter the outcome. Yet they still felt they'd prefer to be able to change the situation. Like a serious ''wow'' moment. People have no idea what they truly want. Blame it on society, or maybe the human brain is just too conplex for us to truly understand our own nature. It's said that we only use 1% of our total brain power. Einstein used 2%. Imagine the possibilities of fully utilising the complete extent of the human brain. Philosophical debates on a new scale, time/interstellar travel, cures for terminal diseases. If only...

And I guess that's what it'll remain as. A big ''IF''...

And btw, it's all your fault. If that person's gone, it's your fault.

Sigh... sometimes I wonder if I'm going crazy. Or imagining too much. I hope you understand, if the time really does come. But for now, I'll pretend to remain an ignorant little prick.

Had the TOC POP selection today. Only other aero guy was Kelvin, who applied for colours RSM. Saw Aida also :P Conducting Spec got 6 people, including me and Ze Bin. Before the test was kinda confident. But when the sir start testing the rest I suddenly hardcore nervous lol. Then come my turn I screwed up the first drill -.- pissed at myself so I just shout out the rest. Now my frigging throat hurts. On the bright side, it wasn't wasted and I got in. Lucas didn't, and Ze Bin's the reserve. Lol there were absolutely no Sea people there. So some Land guys had to take the Sea posts.

Feel really bad about possibly missing out on half of the first day of Leadership Camp. I practically missed half of Annual Camp. Feels like I'm abandoning my part ._.

Oh well

Good Night

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RTS

2011-10-31T00:03:00.001+08:00

Finished Romance to Sex today. I guess I feel pretty neutral about it. Some parts more helpful than other parts. But overall, generally useful. Although I've been feeling a bit more cranky over the weekend. Don't know whether it's cos of this though o.O

I've got alot on my mind. The talk maybe confused up some parts. But hey, it didn't really clear anything up. And it's just that battle of common sense thing I think. Whether to take that leap of faith, or focus on the present. See lah, just now I got alot of things to say. Now forget all already -.- I'm not exactly an open book. I prefer to do the reading of others. Psychology has always fascinated me. The power of understanding, the power of manipulation with just a few minutes of thinking. Sounds kinda scary haha. I'm not an Okonkwo (look at me, making Lit references. Pfft) per se, but I wouldn't really tell anyone anything. I'd rather you be able to tell from my own actions. Attention seeking? I guess so. But there's a reason I said ''sensitive'' earlier today. Because that's what I've been lacking all along. And I've just been running. Afraid to face up, and then just act like I don't know

It's probably cos of the sleep, or rather, the lack of it.

Pearce Airbase interview results coming out tomorrow. I think I can get in, but then it provides another conundrum, because I'll be missing confirmation camp. And I can't say I'm totally ok with that. Partly also because I kinda enjoyed myself over the weekend, if you ignore the silent mindfucks I've been doing to myself. And confirmation camp may be like that. Also, I'd have to go for a replacement camp with another church. Best case senario would be I know about 1 person there. But at most, probably 2 only.

Ah well. I hope I know what to do in the end. Make the right choice.

Good Night

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Good Morning!

2011-10-27T23:47:00.001+08:00

Lol Xiang Bin guai lan the wrong time.

I'm beginning to think the weather has an agenda against HQ Competitions ._. AIR Comp it rain at the wrong time. We still haven't had our Open Category yet. Soccer Comp looked like going to rain, but we already left before it did :P Orienteering Comp rain also, which cost us precious BUC points, especially since we got first for that. Then today rain again for Challenge Quest. But at least we beat ACSI and got 3rd. Haven't found out how our Land unit did though. Now left to the shooting team to try and beat ACSI. Plus, see if POP participation got enough BUC also. Oh well...

Agh EOY was disastrous. My L1R5 overshot 3 points from my original target. On the bright side, at least it's quite ok as a Double Science noob. Prelim 1! I'll reach my target this time! Sigh... Mrs Lim is leaving our class. She was like so awesome. And apparently next year we'll be getting Mr Ng Wei Liang. From what I heard, an appropriate reaction would be: Fuuuuuuuuuu!... Agh thank God for tuition. Plus, I really need work on my sciences. And Ms Qiu's leaving also :( So many teacher's pangseh. From what I heard, Mr Teo also leaving wtf. Hopefully got chem remedial during the holidays. Still deliberating whether to find Physics papers to practise. Oh well... hopefully it's like Term 2, when Mrs Lim said she was leaving but in the end didn't.

My wounds refuse to heal properly >< Ironic thing is this:
Me: Why our land unit nvr take part for soccer comp?
Xiang Bin: Orh Paul Ng scared they injured
Me: pfft. Wth liddat also scared.
Few minutes later, I end up with cuts all over. Nice karma there hahahahaha.

Come on Prelim 1! Target: Bs for Science and same L1R5 target as this term.

Good Night

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Screw Ups

2011-10-22T20:09:00.001+08:00

Things haven't been exactly going according to plan lately.

I guess I haven't blogged lately cos I was always too tired. Doing it now while I have time.

Screw Up Number 1. Lol not sure whether this counts as a screw up since well... I constantly screw it up. Chinese. I guess I expected to fail, but somehow held on to the hope I might still pass well enough. Paper 2 sure crushed that hope. Srsly don't know how I could've screwed it up so bad. Although overall I passed, and I'm not ''2nd'' agn lol. So I guess it was a half screw-up

Screw Up Number 2. PHYSICS. I knew the whole level screwed up, but I still hoped I would at least get a B. When I got back my paper and looked through I felt like slapping myself. Lost so many marks due to little mistakes. Should've studied harder argh. Could've snagged a B3. *headbang* So many careless mistakes...

Screw Up Number 3. History. Of all bloody subjects, this was supposed to cheer me up. Especially after my Combined Humans did ok. And ESPECIALLY after I studied BOTH the goddamn revision packs. As in STUDIED. Like seriously. Get back paper, both essays screw up. NSP never explain enough. Ok that one I guess is a valid point to pull down my marks. But the Japan question? Apparently I didn't ''state my points clearly''. Wtf man. That one's a bit extreme. I did link back my points under the 3 aspects, although granted I didn't state them in the first sentence. I guess I'll have to work on my presentation for Prelim 1. I'm determined to get the A1 from History that has eluded me for so long.

Screw Up Number 4. Street Soccer Comp. I guess this doesn't really count, cos it was out of our hands. But definitely could've done better. Plus, the fact that ACSI Air got through to the finals is leaving me seething. Sorry Danial, but I really hoped you'd crash out as well :P To be blunt, I seriously should've replaced the entire soccer team, including myself. Although it is interesting to note that out of all the pairings, our's was the most imba. Home team against one of the noobest teams. While the other not so good schools still had playable opponents so they could get through the loser's pool. We just couldn't match up to TKSS. It was kinda like Man U against Derby County or something. Oh well, the shooting team better not screw up. Challenge Quest shouldn't be a problem.

Getting back the rest of my results on Monday. Both maths, which I'm praying are minimal A2s. And chem, which hopefully I can get a B4/3. That should wrap up a disastrous EOY, although I still might be able to reach the ≤15 points target I set. Hoping my English oral can do well enough as well to secure an A1. Although I'll most prolly get an A2. I'd have to just pass or fail oral to get less than an A, so hopefully that serves as some consolation.

Blah, shouldn't have gone for the ball. My elboe hurts, and I'm afraid or showering with all the open wounds. And I accidentally stained the couch with my blood when I was sleeping lol. Hi 5 Lucas!

And I tell myself not to get angry. After all, you have other priorities. I'll just have to accept that both of you are gone. Oh well. *exasperated*

Good uhm... Evening?

Goodbye. Aha, that's better

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Ghosts

2011-10-18T00:30:00.002+08:00

Bah, everyone's gone, more or less. I guess I shouldn't be angry, cos you must have your reasons. And I guess I have no right to know either. I just hope I can count on you when the time comes. That you aren't wondering off emotionally volatile when I need your help. So hey, I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. *zips* Believe me, even though it doesn't seem like it. I think a lot before I say anything. So hey, if I've been maintaining this facade for God-knows how long, shouldn't be a problem now

Is it my SIM card, or is everyone just dao-ing me. But Ian and Jerevis managed to reply. so I guess it's the latter :/ It's like everyone's just left me to die.

Am I scared of what might happen? I guess so. It sounds like you've given up. And you've never seemed that way before. Is it my fault? I guess so. Although I swear I never meant to lead you on. But hey, even involuntary manslaughter is a crime. So I guess the guilt lies with me. Please just know that I also have no idea what to make out of this. I told myself that I wouldn't. But will I enforce it? Right now I don't even know whether to ask you to wait. But I'll let time sort it out I guess. I really don't need this right now >< And you didn't even answer, so I have no idea what to do.

Did I just let out too much? Please just understand, if you get this.

Bleh.

Today was Day 1 of the SBAB. I guess the agenda was pretty much just the CH-47 flight experience (Read: Joyride). But the morning already started off with a problem. I read the "Yishun" in Lucas' message as "Yio Chu Kang". Ended up waiting for 15mins with no one in sight. Didn't bring my phone so I had no way of contacting them. Bloody failshit. In the end made my way to AMK interchange to take 169, thinking all the way that it started at 8am, causing me to freak out. Nearly wanted to follow the NSFs, but thank God the uncle across me happened to tell me they were going to Yishun Camp instead. Made it to SBAB and saw Heer Tern there, who told me it only start at 8.30 -.- So in the end I sort of "pang seh-ed" them. Oh well. The CH47 ride itself was kinda fun, although I slept for a bit cos the wind there was awesome. But after that admin fail, cos we waited 3 hours for the bloody bus to come and bring us back through the camp. Slept for most of it. By the time we came out, 3.45 already and I had missed tuition. Blah, and to think I actually did my homework already. Hopefully tomorrow goes smoother.

And I still have sent Sir Goh my Pearce forms .____.

Good Night

Failshit

2011-10-15T23:26:00.004+08:00

What the balls lah, like that also want kao pei. Eating dinner don't use phone. Can allow me watch TV but cannot use phone. No logic there? Not like anyone talks to me during dinner anyway. And can't I use my phone and listen to you at the same time? Get your bloody common sense right before you come and find something to be mad at me about. I know scolding me very fun, and you haven't done that for so long until you getting withdrawal symptoms. But at least scold me on something logical. TMD. and you wonder why I'm pissed all the time. Still try scare me say what, you know what I've been posting on FB. Come lah, can hint here hint there don't have the guts to say to my face. Then you yourself go complain about it to other people behind my back. Practise what you preach _|_

Blah. School and HQ feels more like home. Air store and Aero center can be my bedroom. Then I can get out of this hellhole. There's a reason why I hate going home. After exams still won't let me use computer. Nice win.

Finally went back to HQ after a long while away cos of exams. Felt good to be back. Although today was (is) frigging hot and I was sweating like mad by the time I got to the aero center. Thought I would see Danial and Yak Hang there first. In the end Delvin and Jon Ho came earlier and Danial came late. Yak Hang didn't even come. Testing was damn weird cos all the girls passed but the guys had to try a few times ._. and Kishore was raging about himself the whole time. Even on FB. Then Darren (I think?) flew with me cording him. He suddenly nosedive, but I gave him time to recover. Just after I took back control, the rubber band snapped and the wing flew off. It stayed up in the air for quite some time. It looked kinda lonely up there in the sky by itself, flapping about aimlessly...

And Man U played Liverpool at Anfield today. I was actually expecting Liverpool to win narrowly (Some fan, lol), but Hernandez came on and scored to level out. Didn't know he'd recovered already. Still waiting for Cleverly to get better. Looks like we really need him. Hopefully he's fit for Man City, cos that'd be the most impt game.

Full time 1-1, oh well.

I hope you don't go too. You don't seem like you anymore. And it was so unexpected anyways, at least to me. You never looked like you'd given up. And then now, what I'm inclined to think is a rebound effect.

Felt good to finally let my doubts out.

Good Night

Whatthefindingnemo

2011-10-09T22:59:00.001+08:00

Written in the stars,
A million miles away...

I couldn't tell you. Shouldn't have uttered a word in the first place. The temptation to just unload a barrage on you was so great. Yet just 1 tiny piece of information shouldn't have come to mind. How ironic that I even considered telling you, when you were the last person that I should've thought of. Luckily I had other things to occupy you with. But if you want to do know the real reason, it's because of something else. I can't tell you, and I probably never will. But thanks for trying to help :)

Sigh...

It almost feels like exams are over. A Maths doesn't seem to worry me. I'm scared that I'm not scared for A Maths. Bloody mindfuck. No mood to study for Lit as well. After 18+11 essays, mugging another 17 chapters worth of quotes and characterisations and foreign culture seems so daunting. Bah. And to think I'm counting on Lit to rescue my Combine Humans. Looks like I can say bahbye to an A...

I don't see how lack of initiative amounts to ingratitude...

And yes, that's a reference to you, if you even read my blog at all. Ironic that the first line I ever said to you was through your blog. And now what's become of it?

Good Night

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SCYSF

2011-10-07T23:29:00.001+08:00

So close yet so far...

Sigh exam week feels like a disaster. Everything just feels like it's falling apart. SS study all the essays, land up no time do SBQ. Combine Humans gone case already. And for the first time I'm worried about my English. Can't help thinking that my essay might be out if point. Wasn't thinking when I wrote it. I tend to get too engrossed while writing... and I thought I could pass Chinese this term. Paper 2 sure shattered that hope. Looks like I'll be expecting to see Si Ern and the rest next year during Chinese lesson. Sciences went weirdly I guess. Don't know whether to laugh or cry... I guess it won't be too much to wish for an B3. No mood for A Maths and Lit anymore.

I think the stress is getting to me.

And you. You seem like a total stranger now. And it's not your fault, but sometimes I can't help thinking you could put in some effort, instead of staring and being unresponsive. You were the best, the favoured, the most skilled, and now everyone's lost you. But no one cares now do they? Because power changes. You don't become selfish, just uncaring. Cliques form within cliques. And you're not the only one who seems like a stranger now. The one person I seem to be able to count on is somewhat close to someone I wouldn't prefer. I can't help but think if you're just an unwitting spy.

Agh I can't keep concentration. My mind seems to be slipping away from my body everyday. Just tired of everything. Even the thought of exams doesn't evoke anything.

So alike, yet you mind as well be light years away, because I'll never get the chance to....

Good Night

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EOY Day 1

2011-10-03T23:02:00.001+08:00

Am I staying only cos of guilt?

Haha today's papers were English 1 and History. It went more or less according to plan. Although I'm quite scared for my compo. Write like 4.5 sides on ''Voice'', then realised I didn't have any clear main points. Landed up cramming all of them into my concluding paragraph. I have no idea how the proposal will end up, seeing as I slept through the last few English lessons where Mrs Tham was revising it. Oh well, still got paper 2 tomorrow. Counting on my summary to pull me up again. History went sorta fine. Then again, last term I felt it was ''fine'' also, and ended up with an A2. Bloody hell, hopefully my conclusions and C&C don't screw up. Worried for my militarism essay also. Wrote longer for benefits than harms, even though my conclusion decided harms. Haha Charlie damn sad. Mug only 2/18 essays, both never come out. According to him, he just wrote 4 lines for each essay question.

Shouldn't have eaten so much chips the last few days. Now have stoopid sore throat and mild fever earlier today. Pfft.

I'm supposed to be mugging Physics, but definitions+formulas=braindead. I'll probably cram everything in tmr morning as usual. Double pffft. Hoping for at least a B... and not only cos my parents will scold me :/

Went to my grandaunty's wake today, brought my physics notes along. In the end, all the info cannot retain, so I gave up. During the prayers, I couldn't help thinking about who would attend MY wake... I'd probably also put something stupid in my will, like that nobody was allowed to cry over my death. That is, if anyone cries at all :P pfft.

Would you? Even now I can't decide if I would hope desperately that you'd come. Would I?

Sigh... onwards till the end of EOYs!

Minimal distractions. That includes you, emotions. Behave, so I can concentrate :D

Good Night

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Wishful Thinking

2011-10-01T00:28:00.001+08:00

But it's just the price I pay,
Destiny is calling me,
Open up my eager eyes,
Cos I'm Mr. Brightside :)

Loved that song last time, still do. What an appropriate song :)

Haha I feel like blogging about geek schtuff. Not really geek schtuff lah, but hey, humour me :D haha.

Apparently scientists have (sort of) found a way to break the lightspeed barrier, using neutrinos. And this is possibly the biggest breakthrough since E=MC2 (which ironically, it just proved wrong). Although most scientists around the world are sceptical, I believe (want) this to be true. After all, most of our theories and concepts we have now were thought to be ''outrageous'' in their time (think Copernicus etc.) So hopefully the results of the experiment hold up, cos I desperately wish to witness at least unmanned interstellar travel before I die. I know, not very feasible, but hey, one can dream :) I've always been fascinated by space, especially the theories bordering on science fiction. I've harboured the slim hope that one day I can be a theoretical physicist. But hey, who am I bluffing. I can't even bloody pass Sec sch physics T.T oh well, looking forward to future developments.

In a 2nd piece of exciting science news, apparently doctors have found a ''cure'' with a 90% success rate for curing AIDS. And this is wonderful because millions upon millions could benefit if this ''cure'' actually worked. So many innocent people suffer because of AIDS. An unlucky blood transfusion, an unwitting sex partner etc. The social stigma of having AIDS has been even called worse than the illness itself. Until society can change their mindset fully, it's not going to happen anytime soon. As someone once said, ''The assholes of the world are people who never grew up from high school''. I guess he's right :)

Did I make it too obvious?

Quick studying update would go something like:
History (Maybe)
A and E Maths (I think can. Then again, this mindset screwed up my term 3 maths)
Physics (Dunno. Maybe can. Looking shaky)
Chem (Enjoy it, but don't know whether can convert into actual results)
Lit and SS (SS haven't really start. Lit not at all. Dead)

Agh prolly won't be able to blog during EOYs. See whether I can squeeze in one last post tmr or Sunday.

It wasn't supposed to end up like this. You weren't supposed to. But I'm stuck, and you're too pre-occupied.

Good Night

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Help

2011-09-27T22:55:00.001+08:00

Today was my first violin lesson in about a month. 1 whole month. And I probably practised only 4 or 5 times in that month. Wonderful. I was praying she wouldn't scold me. Landed up the whole lesson basically she going through the new scales format. And cause I actually bothered to learn the new scales also, at least she wasn't so pissed. Yay... but she did scold me cause it was quite crappy also... lucky we didn't have time for pieces, or I would've been royally screwed.

Fuckit, my mom just started scolding me out of the blue for leaving my notes on the table. Wtf. And then since she got nothing else better to do, go and find something else to be mad at me about. Apparently putting my violin case next to the door instead of behind it is a crime, which promptly got it thrown out of the room. Yes, THROWN. And she complains that I always don't take care of it. Well, at least it was in the case before she threw it. But still.... sigh. Hooray....

Pfft.

After that I went for church to serve my weekday duty. Was wondering why it was different from the mass in sch this morning... oh well. I just suddenly got a feeling to stay back after mass. So I did. I found a pew near the back and knelt down. What happened next, even I don't know why. I just cried and poured out everything in my mind. And the only thing I kept repeating was ''God help me''. I think I must be going crazy... then Isaac and Alfred started locking up church, so I finished up my hysterical prayer and left. Although I did feel calmer after that :) God's a good listener.

Agh, come home just stone on FB. Couldn't be bothered to start on chem. I managed to finish History before mass started. Maybe I'll go refresh it now before I sleep.

Good Night

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Pfft

2011-09-27T00:44:00.001+08:00

I'm trying to think of what to blog now... *thinker pose* I told myself I'd make this a ''normal post''. I feel like such an attention whore when I post rants/rages -.- But I can't deny the fact that it does kinda help...

Anddd ''normal'' brings me to the fact that I didn't do any homework/studying today. At all. I am so screwed. Now I have probably the entire WWII Causes to memorise tomorrow. Whoopee. And that's only like half of the essays I need to memorise.

Pfft. Lucky Geog-Lit students *jealous*

Omg I'm deferring to the most boring thing to talk about. Wonderful,I'm trying to squeeze water out of the desert in my brain. I realise I like talking in metaphors :P it's kinda fun actually. It's like if you can't think of anything else better to say, use metaphors :D Well, suffice to say, the weather today was totally awesome. I slept through the first half of chem and later, the last half of SS. Damnit, just reminded myself of the SS stuff I have to bloody memorise _l_

After school had chinese tuition. It was eye-opening, but I promised to make this a normal post. So I'm not going to discuss the intricacies of human nature now/here :D

Supposed to go meet Li Xin for the rehearsal thing. Was trying to help ZB think of excuses to juss his mom and go also haha ^^ in the end he came :D Someone's *cough* phone died on them, so we only reached the studio at 6.30 -.-

Pfft. Feel like a noob looking at piano scores T.T In the end reach home at 8.35. Haha I told my mom I was studying at Northpoint McDonald's. The convo went something like this:

Her: COME HOME NOW! WHY YOU SO LATE?!
Me: aiyah we kena chase out. Have to go find new place
Her: HURRY UP COME HOME! YOU WON'T KENA CHASE OUT!
Me: Sure boh...
Her: I don't know what your msg mean. But hurry up! You still need practise!
Me: Ok can

Haha win (Y). I guess that's about all

Good Night

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Decisions

2011-09-25T01:46:00.001+08:00

Am I doing the right thing? I wish I knew.

Studying doesn't hold the same distraction anymore... well if count tuition as sorta studying. Had maths and physics back to back. Comfortable with A Maths. Can't say the same for Physics though. Hoping for at least a B4 for EOY. Gosh I haven't even started Chem yet. Maybe I'll start tomorrow. And I didn't do my 4 essays for History today. So I'll be doing 8 essays tomorrow T.T

Why couldn't you just be there? You don't know, because it isn't obvious to anyone besides me. Why can't you just be around, so I'm not the one feeling the pressure? I need your help and you don't know it. Building walls... I don't know why I do it. Why torture myself. Why not just confide in someone. Because the only person I have confided in, though still my best friend, is so different in mentality. He can't help me. And I don't know who can.

Hang in there, because I know how you feel, and because everybody hurts. So keep holding on

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide
- King of Anything :)

And crap, Crouch just scored for Stoke. Man U haven't seemed to be themselves since the Chelsea match ._. But I have faith they'll come back :)

Faith. Have it. You might be blind, but faith will take you where you need to go. Have faith :)

Good Night

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BODY! Y U NO CO-OPERATE!

2011-09-23T23:36:00.001+08:00

Am I leading you on?

I guess there hasn't been much happening in the last few days. Waiting for a creative/thoughtful spasm from my brain (or what's left of it). I guess you'll just have to make do with this.

I was kinda thinking...

There's nothing worse than giving someone hope, then tearing him apart. The higher you are, the harder you fall. And I guess humans are just too selfish to do anything other than for themselves. Have I seen true selflessness? I hope that I have. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm confused as to whether I'm really confused. Mindfuck much? I guess all I've been doing is running away from my problems. I'm afraid facing up to them will just be disastrous for everyone. And I don't need that right now. People always say Carpe Diem, seize the day. Pffft. If everyone did that, the world would've collapsed long ago.

But I guess that process has only been slowed down. America and Europe are spiralling down as fast as their rise in the 20th century. Ironic that Asians used to be discriminated against. Well actually it still happens now sometimes. Yet we are the only ones who seem to be able to save the world right now. As expected, Obama's Jobs Bill faced much resistance. Too lazy to go find his Jobs Speech. Maybe I'll try tomorrow. I guess Obama actually is quite good. He has vision. Perhaps he's just too scared of what might happen if he fails. Coupled with the fact that America is still in the Middle East, I guess it's no wonder his popularity is declining...

Went to collect the Weston prize with Jun Wei today. Gargh caught a stoopid flu on the way. Tried studying History on the way there, couldn't concentrate. Same with Maths just now. Every few seconds *sniffle*. Ugh why can't my body just behave. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. And my mother just scolded me for falling sick. Like wtf, I WANT to become sick isit?! Managed to collect the Chem notes today. All the teachers seem to be chionging last minute also. Even Mr Quay compiled a formula and definitions list.

Are you leading me on? Although this is more likely just self-deception on my part ._.

Today can count as kinda productive. Sigh hope EOY goes okay... I still have Maths and Physics tuition tmr more or less back to back.

Good Night

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Lunacy

2011-09-20T23:15:00.001+08:00

Should I be feeling guilty about something I'm not doing? (with the exception of homework of course) Someone once called me the monk in the temple. I wish I'd never come out.

Y'know it's kinda funny how when we're younger all we wanted to do was grow up quickly and take charge of our own lives. But when we actually do grow up, we find out that the world isn't the bed of roses we thought it would be. It's a place where you lose yourself if you're not careful. A place of problems, desires, emotions, social stresses... and then we look back at when we were younger and think, if only I could go back in time and revert to our old mindset.

You see, people do not mind being ordered around, so long as you can take adequate care of them. Don't you agree? As Steve Jobs thought, ''People don't really know what they want until you show them'' That's why it's just as easy to mould bad leaders as well as good ones, because people are never sure about anything, even about themselves.

And I keep wondering, would it have made a difference if I had got to either of you first?

I should sort out myself before attempting others', I guess.

Oh well.

The Man U-Chelsea match yesterday was a total farce. Both teams didn't look like themselves at all, miss here miss there. Clear cut chances, poof! The Torres one was the worst. Gilded opportunity, handed to him on a silver platter and he scoffs it. Joke.

Nothing much else... my mugger gear still warming up. I need it to kick into overdrive!!

Good Night

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Imma make you pay

2011-09-15T23:43:00.001+08:00

My orienteering badge is being bitchy, doesn't wanna stick to the frigging shield holder. Yesterday and today, not much happened. But there was english oral today. 20% of EOY. For some reason I didn't feel anxious enough about it. I guess it kinda went okay. The reading passage was fine, but I did screw up one part. As for the convo, according to the teacher, I had good ideas, but needed to expand more on them. Looks like I won't bet Weng Han on this. Oh well.

If you read the back page of the Life section today, you'd know the Roald Dahl's daughter was requesting £500,000 pounds from his readers so that they could help to shift and preserve the small hut where Dahl wrote all his stories. That has to be the most stoopid thing I've ever heard. She herself is already in a relationship with a jazz singer reportedly worth 5 million pounds himself. And she's asking people to donate funds. Wow, looked at a mirror much? What's even more ugh is that the spokesman for the Dahl Foundation (or something like that) justified her request by saying they've generously donating 10% of their income to charity. Which is probably what most people can't even afford to earn in a year. I guess it's really hard to find true selflessness and generosity nowadays :/

Another thing you might have heard is that NASA is planning to go back to liquid fuel rockets, which will allow deeper space missions. And oh, cost just around maybe 300+ BILLION DOLLARS? Which also happens to be the amount Greece is hoping to receive from their next bailout. That is, if they can survive till then. It's kinda stupid how America is going ''Ohh no! We should cut spending for our OWN people instead of reducing our frigging defence budget, fighting wars in OTHER countries, which by the way, shouldn't have started in the first place'' and when Obama actually brings something useful like a Jobs Bill, I have a feeling it's gonna take awhile. Oh well.

I guess that's all for now, folks.

Good Night

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Emptiness

2011-09-14T01:03:00.003+08:00

I guess it isn't helping that I don't have anyone to talk to right now to distract me. Suddenly thought of the lyrics to The Click Five's Empty. Old song, and slow as well. I don't usually go for slow songs, but hey, this one makes an exception :) "We're empty..."

Which is kinda how I've been feeling the past week or so. Actually, confusing, more than anything. I guess posting on Facebook temporarily releases the stress of life, but then again, doesn't really help much. I'm not making sense right now, am I? Gosh, I think I honestly might be going a little crazy right now, bottling everything up inside. Time bomb much? I have no idea what's going to happen when it does explode. Recalling another memory now, and of all things from Madagascar. "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave..." And isn't that all I can do now? Writing all this off the top of my head now. I guess isn't that where we reveal the most of our humanity (or lack thereof?)

"Y'see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are" The Joker (The Dark Knight)

And I guess the world really is going to hell. Not just for everyone, but I guess to certain extent, me too. Is it right, to wish misfortune on others solely for yourself? Probably most people would've answered "no". On the other hand, is it wrong to fight for yourself, for what you believe in and want, and think that you deserve? Rephrasing does have the effect of mindfucking most people.

Doesn't help that the other person is like a brother to me.

Am I giving too much away? Mm, maybe. But then again, doing it has a rather cathartic effect. Although I seriously have no idea what's happening to me.

Can't wait to grow up and clear all the stupid shit from being a teenager out of my system. It'd be nice to forget everything once in a while.

Just thought of NCC. Then again, I don't think that'd be too surprising. I guess I love it so much is cos it just focuses your mind on one thing, whether it's coordinating the drills, or putting your next foot forward doing PT. Really let's you dive into another world of timings and physical endurance. Kinda distracts you from all the shit. Then like cold water to the face, training ends, and you're slammed headfirst into reality.

God help me, I'm really confused right now. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the joke that is my life

Good Night

Mt Ophir/Gunung Ledang/Kim Sua

2011-09-12T21:39:00.002+08:00

Haha I guess this is kinda late. BUUUUTT seeing as Saturday was total a stone day to "recover", and Sunday was more or less "busy" with homework, I guess it's forgivable :D

As always, I KINDA started packing late. Then again, the packing list was so inaccurate, it didn't really matter I guess. Apparently my parents sorta remembered the stupid deal about not getting any Cs at all, and as a result, "negotiations"... were required. Now I have to fulfill 7 conditions. Of which adding my parents on FB is Number 1. FML. In case they DO read this post, I'm not going to say any more. The walls have ears...

Reached HQ before 8pm, and there was only 1 other guy there. So we kinda stoned with the PDS AIs who were staying overnight, till about lights out time. Sleeping in the learning terrace, which was FRIGGING cold. In the end we laugh laugh joke joke until cannot sleep. Sleep already also couldn't sleep properly cos of the cold. Landed up 3.30 we go outside to the canteen and sleep there till we had to wake up. (Y) Bus ride there, was BORING. Didn't help that we just kept to ourselves. REALLY wished I had brought along my phone. Luckily for my sanity, Ze Bin brought along an MP3 player, albeit with really little songs. But oh well, at the very least I didn't go crazy.

Reach there rest, then after that had our outdoor activities. Flying Fox and the obstacle course. The flying fox was damn slooooooww haha, but it was cool actually doing it in the jungle, so that probably made up for it. The obstacle course was coooooool shizz. The commando crawl actually used barbed wire, although very little haha. BUT STILL... it totally owns HQ's MOC :D

The next day trek was hardcore. Wake up then hurry up pack our stuff then start climb le. The totally worst part was that the stupid equipment was frigging smelly from THREE previous batches. So the entire trip we were smelling 3 days' worth of sweat. Although you don't really focus on the when you're climbing. You just kinda will yourself to take the next step. Kinda wasted that we didn't go all the way to the top. Heard the view would've been awesome. Soooo we stayed at the end-point for around an hour (We slept for most of it) before heading back down. Forgot to mention the cute awesome dog that followed us from base camp. Haha fed some of our bread to it. Come back already, we more or less crashed in the room till dinner. The campfire was kinda fail, especially since no one really bothered to plan properly for the performances. Although the fire itself was rather big... impressive. Watched The Dark Knight before sleeping. Relieved to have something in english for once :P

Next day was sorta survival training. The jungle cooking was damn fail cos the fire was so hard to sustain. Didn't help that it started drizzling as well. Our egg only became soft-boiled (although according to the instructor, it was edible). The potato, total (N).

Going back was rather much the same, except perhaps that Lucas was more hyper than usual, and Ze Bin was emoing more than usual, probably cos of his wife :P Cheer him up also cannot. Sighh...

I guess that's about it for Mt Ophir...

Good Night :)

SSC

2011-09-06T01:19:00.001+08:00

Ahhh I guess it's my birthday, technically. I shouldn't be emo-ing, but well, I guess I am :/ Was hoping to go into HQ on Sat and come out with something. Land up neither Air Comp nor SSC fulfilled that hope :(

Air Comp was a disaster for my category, not just for me. All the usual people, save for ACSI, crashed out in the 1st or 2nd round. Then land up NORTHVIEW come and own everyone like siao. I was hoping to have a chance to get to the finals. Land up, I must've offended somebody or what, I launch that time the prop become loose. The inevitable crash was, to say the least, extremely depressing. The usual suspects like Yak Hang, Alvyn, even DELVIN didn't make it past the 3.5m T.T such a disappointment :/ The rain I prayed for came, but at the totally wrong time, when we were just about to commence the Open Cat. Land up postpone to this sat. And I have Ophir, so no choice DQ lor :( gargh Air Comp, nothing at all... NOTHING.

SSC was ok guess, just that I only knew 2 ppl in my platoon. But oh well, managed to make frens, especially in my section :D I wonder if the Chung Cheng Top 5 is really all gay. Hm... Mutuals was thankfully fine, thanks to my APC Justin Ho :D then come the awards. Was hoping to come away from HQ with at least something. False hope... Gone! Poof! Disappeared into thin air. I think maybe I would've preferred it if I didn't make it onto the shortlist, and have that one chance torn away from me, especially since NCC is such a big part of my life...

And all I can do is just smile and carry on.

On a separate note, really confused now I guess, because something happened to me that shouldn't have. I don't know to fight for myself or for others. Sigh... I guess personal happiness, fun, joy, peace and laughter has its price as well :/

On the (sorta) brighter side, at least I got my lanyard and rank. I must say, its cooler than I expected :D

Haha oh well, I guess I should be happy today. Still haven't decided if I'm going to watch The Cat tmr :P

Good Night

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Weird

2011-09-01T01:19:00.001+08:00

That's what today was... in a nice awesome kinda way. Today I missed normal training (again :/), this time cos of PDS. But it was kinda ok I guess, just hope and pray tmr dun screw up :P

And then after training Lucas gathered the Part Bs, who wished me happy birthday :D awwww~~ the presents were awesome. The board with their names and the spammage of ''chewie'' at the bottom, the card javier and kit ee wrote for me, and the speakers :D haha omg... at the risk of sounding gay-ish, I love you guys! And you too Lucas, and all the NCOs! ^^ haha. Looks like I made the right choice of CCA :D Lucas next year I know we pass out alr, so I'll get the entire unit to do something for you for POP instead :D and THEN, we'll rape and taupok you on the field ^^

Haha after that went to play soccer for a while. Going back that time decided to use Weng Han as target practice. Landed up hitting the chairs... with Zheng saw and promptly pwned us. BUT, as always, the best solution is... Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave... gosh I don't make sense sometimes ._.

Haha I guess thats about it for today, just hope tmr goes smoothly.

Good Night

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All About Tonight

2011-08-30T00:57:00.001+08:00

New Pixie Lott song. Awesum. Nuff said

Gosh, feels like a lifetime since I last blogged. Maybe it had something to do with my total lack of internet access since exams started. Just saying... :P

To sum up what's happened since exams... well obviously I've gotten back all my results. And for lack of a word strong enough to describe them, I shall settle with ''fucked up''. I feel like just going ''ARGH!!!'' Not forgetting the *repeated headbang* ow... Both maths especially were a total disappointment. E Maths totally blanked out, and A Maths was careless until ''vomit blood'' is an understatement. All I had in my head when I got back the results was what Mr Teo wrote on my paper.

Expected better from you

Yeah well, I had hoped so as well. But things obviously didn't go the way I wanted to right? Doesn't help that my A Math retest slammed that in my face. Sigh... now I've deproved from Term 2, and this term is supposed to be EASIER. Gosh... Lit was a total let-down as well. Murphy's Law is such a bitch T.T

Oh well, made up my mind to chiong after September Holidays. For real this time. No more ''oh talk only no action'' FOR REAL. I'm gonna prove that woman wrong, and shove the A1s in her face. But concentrate on mugging... can't count your chickens before they hatch :P

Air Comp and SSC starts this Sat. I don't know whether to be nervous or excited. More nervous I guess. Especially the mutuals for SSC. And I still not sure if I ponning church. God, will you understand? The SSC schedule so packed... :/ Air Comp training has been going ok I guess... just pray that day minimal wind.

Decided to take aero seriously as a hobby... alr found most of the stuff I want online. I'll have to fulfill another deal with my parents before they decide to... sponsor me haha. Thinking of following Delvin, make my own kites from corrugated plastic. The one during AAWC was a total fail :P saves me the $ from buying new aircraft, although I am eyeing the Katana mini...

Mt Ophir's put me in a bit of a spot... my parents haven't allowed me to go, but the forms have been handed in... guess I'll have to try to salvage the situation with another deal.

Oh well

On the bright side, Man U took Arsenal apart with 8 goals. That's right, EIGHT. Demolished, routed, destroyed, ate up, decimated, vaporised... you get the idea ^^ I guess that's all for now

Good Night

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If Life had Keyboard Functions

2011-08-11T23:49:00.002+08:00

Feeling random and strangely emo-ish. Here Elena, happy? Hahahaha next I time I lazy you must come motivate me :D

Alt+F4, for the times when things just don't seem to go our way, and we just want all our problems to stop

CTRL+C and CTRL+V, to copy and paste our friends :D

CTRL+X, to cut away all the trolls and detractors in life

F5, to refresh all those happy memories again and again

Caps Lock, to amplify all the happy moments in our lives, and to scream at the top of our lungs just for the joy of it :)

CTRL+Z, so we could go back in time, and right our wrongs, did things we should have, say what we've been bottling up inside, because you never know when it's too late.

CTRL+F, so we could easily find what we've lost

Print Screen, so we could capture precious moments forever

CTRL+A, so we could just select everything at one go. Efficiency, no? Haha.

Today's exam turned out kinda ok I guess. English was not bad, just only that Passage B had some weird questions. SS was more or less ok, although I am worried about the format I answered in for the SEQ :/ Oh well, tomorrow's Chinese and History. Hopefully I can remember all the points ><

Haiz... I really should be sleeping now haha.

Good Night

National Day

2011-08-10T00:50:00.001+08:00

Ha, looks like I WILL be able to blog today. My parents booked us rooms at hotel so we could get access to a viewing area for today's NDP. At first I thought it would be a waste of money. But after the actual thing, I can't say I don't regret thinking that way. Oh well. Quite cool to see a female RSM leading. The military display fireworks were awesome :D

Today was our PDS performance at the Bishan CC. I seriously think there's something wrong with our PDS performances. Our trainings are all damn sui, but come the actual thing, we drop at... unexpected drills. Gargh why can't we just have a perfect performance for once. Sigh... feels weird having weeks of effort finish up in 3 mins. Not in the right frame of mind now. PDS...Sigh...It's your fault. Funny thing is, you don't even know it. Or maybe I'm just trying to find fault with anyone but myself. Or maybe I'm just jealous/envious. Then again, all I can say now is to treasure what you have, because not everyone is capable of what you have.

Yesterday's school NDP was kinda ok bah. Something happened, but I'm not gonna say here. Like I said on FB, after seeing other schools' NDP, I realise ours suck. Our GOH doesn't use arms, and we don't even have a colours party. Oh well... come to think of it, the current system is kinda screwed up. We should just do it like AMK, where the main GOH consist of each UG. Rather than ours, where we rotate UGs. That means only if you lucky, then you are the GOH during your NCO year. Hmmm... maybe I should bring this up? But oh well, its alr over.

Cherish whatever you may have, because inherently, nobody is equal.

Good Night

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Jail Time

2011-08-02T17:29:00.001+08:00

Argh home feels like some kind of jail to me now. I have absolutely no internet access whatsoever, so I guess now I'll more or less be able to blog every Tuesday only, before mass starts :/

To Ernest; if you're reading this, please consider whether my post is up to your 5 star standards of entertainment. Then again, since I feel bitchy, I'm gonna say that you can't complain about my blog since you, well, listen to Gaga. Not hatin' on her though... or as much as you might think. That's all :D

Sooooo last thursday had the first NDP training, and to be totally honest, it was kinda... phail. NPCC didn't even come, scouts left halfway, and the drummer kept screwing up. Apparently, this thursday was supposed to be a reserve training. But looking at last week, I guess the decision to activate it must have been a no-brainer. Friday training was basically a refresher for C&C. My group turned out ok, not too bad. But not impressive either. Oh well...

Saturday had aero, so went down to HQ again. Zhan Hong came at around 11am to help setup the limbo pole. Thought that more people would be there, but land up only CHS and Danial. The wind that day was damn strong, so flying was basically a nightmare, let alone trying to fly under the limbo pole, even though it was already set to the maximum. Only managed to get through about 2-3 times, then tried again and crashed into the corner. Ouch. Hopefully we don't break anymore, seeing as we only have 2 cessnas left. Partial blame to the wind (haha I tend to do that), but then again, it's harder than it looks :P For PDS, we finally managed to teach finish the performance. So from then till next Tuesday, we'll just keep spamming. Can't say I'm not nervous, because, we're doing it in public. Also, seems like we'll be going down to Bishan CC itself on Sat to practise, as well as the day before

Sunday school was weird, partly because it was damn full. There were 2 new students, 1 from America and the other one from England. Recently also Samantha came back for lessons, but by the looks of it she was probably forced into it by her father haha :P

Oh well.

Drama yesterday after Joel's money got stolen... again. Then Mr Teo call the discipline teachers and we wasted the last 2 periods trying to find the culprit, though they didn't find him at the time. After school there was a Chem retest. So Ms Qiu happened to find money in Alex's Newsweek. Turns out Detective Weng Han was kinda right :P
Results of that particular incident would be evident if you looked outside the HOD room.

On a brighter note(s), the US Government FINALLY appears to be reaching a compromise on their stupid debt crisis. Urgh waste so much time. To default, or not to default? That is the question. Although with Europe already in trouble because of Greece, I doubt that we would be able to escape another recession. Sighhh... Also, I managed to start my studying! HA! HAHA! MR is next week and I don't want it to end up like MYEs. Although whether I'll continue studying is another question. But, I think I'll start on History and some Chem today. I kind of rather enjoy those 2.

Oh well, till next time,

Goodbye

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Because

2011-07-26T17:20:00.001+08:00

Haha omg so long nvr blog. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that all my internet connections have been cut off. Using the Wireless@SG at Great World now :P

Soooo things from the past week or so.

1. Took the Part As for drills last Friday. I have to say, I can see why all the Part B specs are so frustrated. First time I've been so unhappy. Part Bs usually do well enough, but the Part As were... *headbang* . Then again, maybe I should have been B UDI instead. Not close to the Part As so I'm more willing to scold them. Not that I won't punish the Part Bs, but evidently, that hasn't happened yet. Argh something's wrong with me.

2. Went for aero training on Saturday. Nothing much, although the thing, weirdly, that I'm worried about is the launching. Too used to launching with lower throttle with kites so the Cessna always stalls when I want to take off. Gargh have to tune that up before AIR Comp, which happens to be during SSC as well. Looks like we'll be having a short break during SSC. CPT Angela setting up the limbo course this Sat for us to try. Forgot to mention that Boon Ji and Bryan wrecked a plane last Sat, so now we only have 1 working Cessna. GOSH *face-palm*

3. FINALLY went to watch HP7. Sadded that Edwin wasn't there. Watched part 1 with him and Francine, then now he wasn't there to finish up :/ Soooo firstly OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT WAS AWESOME!!! The fight scenes were totally epic, ESPECIALLY the Battle of Hogwarts. The movie was definitely more detailed since the book was split in 2, but some parts maybe could have delved more into the minor plots, especially Snape's memory. But overall it was ... words escape me. I feel like an abyss just opened inside me, which I'm sort of trying to fill by re-reading The Deathly Hallows again :P

Ahhhh well, that's about it, folks. Hopefully I can blog more again.

Goodbye (Good Night would be rather inappropriate, don't you think?)

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Mooosh! Creedyyyyy

2011-07-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

Haha so todayyyyy there were two tests, A Maths and chemistry. The A Maths was kinda ok but the chemistry was super GL. Actually hor, can do lah, just that it was damn leychey so in the end not much time also. The MCQ questions mind as well be like normal structured wtf.

Argh I feel sleepy so I'm gonna rush up everything else

Todayyyyy had PDS training also. It was kinda not bad lah. We managed to finish and almost perfect the first half. So next training we'll just finish up my half of the choreo. Hopefully this will turn out better than last years NDP. Somemore public siaaaaa. So pray lah pray lah, we can get a near perfect performance come 9th august.

Good Night

110th NCC Day Parade 2011

2011-07-16T23:46:00.002+08:00

I only have exactly 13mins left so I'll try to crap out everything within then.

So today was kind of weird. Cos Yak Hang came at 8.30am. I only came at 10.45 liddat. The aero centre only open at 11.15am. Soooooo YAK HANG SAD CASE HAHAHA. He stone there for like nearly 3 hourse doing nothing in his No. 3 lol.

So the 1st rehearsal the wind started only when our turn come. Again. WTF. So when I launch that time got problem. The kite kept going left then I full right still cannot counter. Then I crash at the tentage there behing some old lady. And she didn't even flinch o.O So I re-launch then ok le...

The 2nd rehearsal was better. But when i landing that time I accidentally crash into Alvyn. So Alvyn, if you are reading this, sorry.

The actual parade when ok. The president come, the GOHs do the drills sui sui. The FSD and the PDS performance quite nice also. Then our turn come. I was so nervous I was literally on my knees praying, before we took off. Then fly fly fly. I was damn scared I go into the no-fly zone. So my right circuit was super huge. Then I underestimated the throttle, so i accidentally flew behind the screen. Zam elevator also never work. So I just cut throttle then crash-land... Motor first. *Headbang repeatedly* Damage assessment: Spine broke, Propeller gone, O Ring gone, front bar break. @(_!*@!^$~!$

Only got 3 mins left sooo...

Good Night

Loud Noises

2011-07-16T00:59:00.001+08:00

Yes, Transformers 3. Haha. But first... today's X-Country.

Woke up with the rest of the family, made it to the bus stop in time. Then wait for 74. *arrive. I look inside* WTF the entire bus filled till bursting. Then Bo Wei was inside also haha. Next bus 852 also liddat. Finally the next 74 double decker, so can squeeze in. Then saw Si Ern at the next bus stop, but too full so he also cannot get in lol. The marshalling itself quite boring, but we also saw a monitor lizard. Then people running towards it then scare it away :( Then also got some blur kings keep going straight even though we tell them go left l. *facepalm*

After that went to Bishan play soccer wif Si Ern they all. Halfway through started raining but we heck care. But I barefoot, then the floor quite slippery so I kept slipping :/ Then the penalty shootout and halfcourt game was kinda fun haha.

Go home then shower, practise, then went to watch Transformers 3 at AMK Cathay. The other time they go watch, I went HQ. So since it looked super cool, decided to just catch it myself before they stopped screening. Figured I didn't have many other chances. The movie's plot was kind of jerky, but the fight scenes totally made up for it. Plus, kind of weird that last time the first movie they portray killing a Decepticon as damn hard. Then now, 9 autobots can defeat like 100+ Decepticons by themself haha. Then Rosie Huntington Whitely was... *drool* haha. Totally AWESOME. It kind of helped that the first scene of her is where the camera is trained on her ass while she's climbing the stairs (Y) WINNNN

Sooooooo stoked, tmr, or well today, is the real deal, the even we've been training for for 1 month plus, NCC Day Parade. Can't wait haha :D

Good Night

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Playing God

2011-07-14T23:47:00.002+08:00

Wiki: Playing god refers to someone supposedly taking on the role of God for human purposes. Alleged acts of playing God may include, for example, deciding who is to live or die, in a situation where not everyone can be saved. Usually the expression is used to invoke a precautionary principle or to suggest that someone should refrain from a controversial action.

So I just happened to read this column in the Today newspaper well...today. Apparently (Somehow I missed this out) last year in May (I think), scientists created the first synthetic life form. And this raises some ethical questions that really, don't have any real answers. Is this supposed to be wrong? In the ideological and religious sense, yes. As the columnist stated, man was punished for trying to be like God. From my perspective, aren't we supposed to be happy just the way we are? In that case, when cloning becomes a realised dream, will it, in any sense, be ethical? Will it have, so to speak, a soul? And are we, the "creators", responsible for the soul of this clone, of a fellow, but manufactured, human being? Life, ultimately, shouldn't be up to us to give or take. That's why suicide is a crime in Singapore. On the other hand, if this dangerous toying is able to help mankind, will it be morally justifiable? Maybe, and that's all we can until the actually question arises. Stem cells, for instance, have already made huge scientific progress. But EMBRYONIC stem cells are basically just the murder of a young life, plain and simple. This raises again the age old dilemma. Is it right to take a life to save another? Abortion itself is wrong, and I feel that way too. But if it endangers the life of the mother, is it ok to go ahead? For now, I believe that the best answer we can give it that we try our best, and leave the rest to God.

In other, more local, news, Singapore's U-23 team is joining the Malaysia cup next year. Kinda excited about it. The S-League, in all essence, failed miserably to keep the standard of soccer in Singapore, With our Causeway rivalry re-ignited, I'm quite excited to see how it's going to turn out. Although a bad point would be that with this, the S-League would lose what little attention it had. Apparently the FAS and FAM are in talks to combine their leagues, and maybe have and ASEAN league in the future, which is rather feasible. But given all the politicking that's sure to happen, it might take a while :/

Still have marshalling for tmr's X-Country,

Good Night

FUN FUN FUN FUN

2011-07-13T23:26:00.004+08:00

Lol today's training was like super epic. The armed drills revise with the Part Bs, then they remember damn fast. So basically it was just a chiong-ed revision, and also give them more time to study/practise for the orienteering test next week. Then we decided march them around the track to kill time. Then also ask them give us songs. That part was quite fun actually. Then at the grand staircase there got some visitors with Ms Tan. So we decide do the hentak cheer. Then they look quite the impressed haha (Y)

The epic part came during PT. So we kinda had a combined PT. Do finish everything le then the Part Bs do chain pumping, 780. Then I told them all the "69" must shout altogether LOL. Haha then the Jacob keep screwing up his count wtf.

Haiyaa go sleep le.

Good Night

HEARTCORE

2011-07-11T23:14:00.002+08:00

HAHA OMG today was super epic lah.

Actually started out quite sian, cos had to go for Chem remedial right after school. Then i was kinda hungry, so I heck care then go eat lunch first. Saw Jordan, so we decided to go up together. Then Ms Qiu scolded us for coming in late. Jordan: "AIYAH NVM I LEARN BEFORE ALREADY!" Ms Qiu: *stoneface* LOLOLOL EPIC COMEBACK (Y)

Then after that got the Physics class test, which was super duper guai lan. The questions look alright but when you try do is like halfway want to *headbang* those kind wan T.T I get 25 happy liao le.

After that had a sort of meeting with the NCOs. That went okok lah. Tried out the triple jumbo exchange with Ze Bin to test. Positive result. Now hope can replicate it with the heavier rifle, and on the day itself. Super nervous about it, because i think this is the first time we are performing publicly.

So suddenly Francine called ask whether want make Edwin's cake. Since no tuition, lucky can go make. Wahhh the cakes really ex lor. The 6-Inch want was like $20.80 :P Haha then buy the icing and all the other schtuff. Keep screwing up then got cake/icing/colouring on our fingers *lick off* haha. After that our fingers damn sticky. So we go to his house then saw his mother haha. She like stone there look at us for a while before we told her why we there. Then sing sing, cut cut, eat eat song ah haha. Then play around with the dog, which ALMOST peed on Francine's socks hahahahahaha. Hyper dogs (Y) Left at like 7.30 then kena lecture by my mother again lah.

Haizzz anti-climax way to end the day :/

Good Night

AAWC

2011-07-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

Advanced Aeromodelling Wing Course. 4 words. So simple yet so much. And so close to me. It's an experience that I don't think I'll be forgetting anytime soon. Stupid Danial trying to cut people's hair with the kite. Dogfights then crashing. Gossiping about Lucas and Jallene. Yak Hang and his Ice Baby. Alvyn crashing into Ma'am. Kelvin and his planking. Fighting against the stupid wind. Delvin crashing the Cessna onto the roof, TWICE. Zhi Cai owning at Plants VS Zombies. Ahhhhh memories... and it's become such a part of my life. I think it's gonna be weird after BAWC when i don't need to go back on Saturdays anymore. It's also made me wanna come back as a Cadet Officer more now, just cos of aero. Gonna miss everyone :(

Grad ceremony was kinda weird. There was this weird extra wing that was apparently a "defect". Then in some of the envelopes got weird titles given to us. Like Danial most lesbo, Me is most gay (NOT TRUE!!!!!!) then also go and put the Ben & Jerry's flavour with the Chewy or whatever -.-

Aiyah now Ze Bin chasing me for the choreo.

The Last Goodbye - David Cook ( TO THE AAWC PPL, LOVE YOU GUYS!!! <3 )

Good Night

STUFF

2011-07-07T23:36:00.002+08:00

Sooooooooo OMG CHINESE ORAL. *spasm* I was so super nervous about it. Then last night was trying to chiong the SS project. Do finish le supposed to log in. Because before that I didn't log in, now have to. So I forgot the Username. Then I anyhow try all the stupid things, still cannot get. So I give up, then try to register for new account. Register finish, go back. OMG WTF HAPPENED TO MY GLOG. WHERE DID IT GO?!?!?! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! Then in the end really cannot find. Luckily My Fernandez so nice, then another group also went first instead. Their video was super epic. Another epic moment:

David: WHAT?! I go through 3 jobs a day to put you through university and this is how you repay me?!

Gordon: DAVID isn't that supposed to be you?

LOLWTF hahahahaha. After that got Chinese Oral. I was soooo super freaking scare about it, cos past few days the topics were super GL, really like want to make you go HUH?! WTF IS THIS I NEVER HEAR THIS BEFORE OMG! and then you stone there. LUCKILY, the convo topic I was well-prepared, cos it was about stress, so can just bullshit out the standard answers. HENG AH *sigh of huge relief*

Oh well, tomorrow is NCC Day rehearsal, the final one. If I'm not wrong, the president's bodyguard is coming down to vet the performance as well. GARGH the airspace is so smalllll. *rage* oh well...

Good Night

Stupid Shizz that I need to sort out

2011-07-05T22:51:00.002+08:00

ARGH i only have 8 more minutes to crap out everything. Maybe tomorrow then.

TODAYYYYY the weather was awesome. Like super duper. Until around after lunch. Then it reverted back to hell on earth. It was like literally in an oven. Sigh... why can;t singapore weather just decide to be awesome and stay that way?

Oh well. My com time's almost up. Hopefully i can talk more tmr.

Good Night

SOooooooooo

2011-07-04T22:45:00.002+08:00

Ahhhh i only got 9 minutes to post this so excuse any typos thanks.

Sooooo just a quickie update. Spent the whole of yesterday and today just doing CIP for the ASG. The matches, were mostly *Singapore slaughtered* *Repeat Process* BUutttttt it WAS kinda interesting to see the turnout. Or lack of it. I mean, it's a REGIONAL event. Granted, it's just on a school level, but wouldn't you think this kind of even should've gotten more coverage and awareness? Less than 10 people from the public turned up. Of the schools today, the most was 140+. The next most was less than 50. Maybe it's cos it was a Sunday/Holiday. Soo yeah. The girls there are damn buff by the way haha. ANDD it was damn hot. Ok

Nuff said I guess, didnt do anything else.

Good Night

NCC Day Rehearsal No. 2

2011-07-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

Today's rehearsal was quite productive I would say. Luckily I went to practise night flying with the SB yesterday, or today would have been a total disaster :/

BUUTTTTT, I didn't crash, so that's kind of a relief. Tried venturing into more rolls instead of just doing like 2-3, cos like that quite boring haha. The night rehearsal was much better also because there was hardly any wind so everything was super nice.

Sigh.. feel like asking my parents buy kite and transmitter for me. Only I scared they think too expensive or after I buy already then become sian of it. Sooooo yeah.

Then today also kena shock. After the the afternoon rehearsal go back aero centre found out Charles' eye kena CA. So he spam wash his eyes then finally sort of ok. Freaking scary sia. Some more is the blue colour one, so it must have burned and hurt like crazy.

Ahhhh tmr still got CIP, so this post have to a bit the short.

Good Night

Homecoming Day

2011-06-30T23:42:00.003+08:00

Wow really says something that this is the first time I've had a consecutive post since Mid-June. Oh well... :/

Sooooooooo... nothing much happened today really. But what I CAN say is that: Singapore weather, just keep being awesome like today. Love with much hope, Jonathan. Had to really try NOT to sleep during lessons because the weather was just so *zzzzzzz*. (Y) for today's weather.

So yesterday Ms Qiu was supposed to discuss with Sir Goh regarding the clash of my CIP and Homecoming stuff this Saturday. She forgot, so I reminded her again today. And she forgot again. Sigh... can't really say much though, I myself tend to be rather forgetful at times. Have to try and convince her to let me go for the CIP this Saturday. Really need the hours + it sounds kinda interesting/fun as well. Marshal for tennis competition, anyone?

I have a sort of hunch that our class is gonna do quite well. After all, Ice Kachang IS a local favourite. And who can say they don't like popcorn chicken? Mmmmm haha. The banner Alwin designed was not bad, except for the stupid mascot that looks totally retarded.

NCC Day tomorrow. Some people blur blur *cough* go and wear No. 3 today. Haha oh well. Too bad there's no parade tomorrow cos they've already set up the tentages for Homecoming. And there's no training tomorrow as well. Not that it's necessarily bad, seeing as imma go down to HQ tomorrow to fly. Coming late on Saturday, so have to try and make up tomorrow.

Oh well.

Good Night

Quickupdatethatsgonnabelongcanyoureadthis?

2011-06-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

Sigh again never post for so long, stupid holiday homework.

Come back to that later. For now, serious stuff.

CHS NCC Air. Yes, my beloved CCA. And I'm very afraid of the future for it. Right before my eyes it is crumbling, person by person, post by post, and I'm helpless as to what to do. I'm gonna just thrash it out here to get it off my chest. Crappy shit mood. USM that like very bo chap, ASM who I hardly see/hear, a Part C UDI that's too nice, a Part B UDI that's too strict and other shit. I'm starting to doubt whether my character is suited for my post. Guess I should have swapped posts with Ian. He's - to put it nicely - temperementally unsuitable for Part B UDI, yet I think he'll make a good C UDI. Even so, I'm not sure. The NCOs care more about what happens in RGS rather than our own unit, and I'm influenced as well. On my side, I'm really too nice. Maybe it has something to do with not being hated and remembered well. Guess I'll have to start afresh next training. And the lines are getting more blurred by the training. Friendship outside training creeping into training hours is not viewed with the same severity as before. This change in mentality is redefining boundaries which we have no idea where to stop. Then again, stubbornly going against the tide will ultimately result in getting run over. But I keep thinking, with our limited involvement with HQ, will the traditionalist style really be so detrimental? It's too late to overhaul everything now. What I can hope for is to ease into somewhere in between, instead of blindly currying favour to be well-liked.Humans are social creatures. Thats why solitary confinement is only reserved for the most putrid, hardened criminals. But in order to achieve the ways of old while trying to sieve out the bad facets of it, image sacrifices will have to be made, especially on my part (pun not intended). But then again, another dark horse is riding, and I'm unsure as to whether it is a threat to me. He may be unwittingly doing so, but I believe when the crucial time approaches he will be smart enough to utilise his connections, and I will be in trouble. I'm not being insecure, rather, cautious. Overestimating someone due to arrogance on your part is fatal.

Society's like that, eat or be eaten. And the only way out is to play along while minimising the damage on your morals. Trust me, no one's gonna accept you for who you are. You can go on believing in Born This Way, but in the end, if you ain't got the moolah or the looks, you're cannon fodder. Life sucks, deal with it, and you should come out lightly bruised only.

Oh well, in lighter news, my parents locked my com account, again. Thank God for WiFi, again. And my SIM card screwed up again, really need to get it changed soon. Turns out Julian Teo is teaching us E Maths. That's why I had to chiong on monday night and tues morning so I couldn't blog. Oh well...

Wish me luck

Good Night

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Superpostcosneedtocatchupnvrpostfornearlyaweek

2011-06-24T23:20:00.002+08:00

Wheeeew...Sorry for not posting this (almost) entire week.

Urgh Monday had to chiong out the 2 lectures until like 12.45am, then I started packing at like near 1am. Pack is just anyhow find thing I think I need then just throw inside. Finish at 1.15am liddat then go sleep.

Annual Camp, really wish I had more to say. Had to go for SAS from Mon-Fri, so reached school only at around 6pm. Then tues forgot to bring my netbook. Had to ask Lucas bring my camp bag to school then chiong home, transfer the files into USB, find the netbook and stuff then chiong to school like some mad dog. Managed to reach school at like 6.15, just in time to wrap up drills then go for dinner. So while they having dinner Lucas and I go up prep the lecture. Got through Air Syllabus and GSK back to back, but I think maybe we were teaching a tad too quickly :/

Annual Camp Day 2 was pretty much just the tests. Then while they went bathe we faster chiong marking both test papers. Siao seh some hardcore mug, some don't bother...haiz disappointment. Leadership camp really need them to do well or their Spec Course is *slit throat*

Missed the break camp cos I was at SAS.

On to SAS! :D Actually I slept sometimes. Ok most of the lectures. Ok all the lectures except one. T.T Bu the the activities were AWESOMEEEEEEE!!! AND THE INSTRUCTORS WERE AWESOME TOOO!!! Haha Richard damn pro sia like some Superman liddat. The UAV was damn cool to use, and the paintball was superduper as well. Day 2 they cram all the lectures, but also got the rover thing and the bottle rocket. The bottle rocket that Lucas and I built damn fail. Launch only that time all the fins flew off then the bottle just spasm mid-air. Can't remember what happened on Wed, except for the Satellite downlink. Kinda cool, but the pictures were reall hard to make out. Thurs was more or less a half-disaster. Somehow my diving forms weren't submitted, so I had to sit out the entire session at NDU. So just sit at the pool-side and stone for like 5 hours. T.T It was damn sian. Buuuuut after that was the Boeing site visit which was damn cool. The simulators were... *orgasm* You get the idea. Sooooo today was the last day. No activities, but it was the graduation ceremony. DPT Chairman NCC Council and Commandant was there o.O Sooo somehow the test I tikam through still can get top 3 haha.

Tmr's NCC Day parade first combined rehearsal.

Gosh i keep getting distracted from this post. Oh well.

Good Night

X-MEN

2011-06-20T00:42:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not posting the last 2 days, really didn't have much time.

Come to think of it, I also don't have much time now, but I'll try to post as much as I can.

Soooo... On Friday nothing much happened. The SMT part was super fun though. Got to fire the SAW, Matador, and SAR21-M203 GL. The best weapon so far would be the Matador, although the SAW was not bad as well. The Matador, being a simulator, had absolutely no recoil what so ever, which kind of limited its realism. Also, you could only shoot the tanks or the sir will scold you, so that kind of put a bar on the "fun" part as well. The SAW was quite fun also cos the fire rate was super. But there was a problem with the trigger which caused it to continue firing even after you released your finger. The SAR21-M203 GL was the worst. It was damn hard to aim the GL, and the rounds kept flying off course. Plus, the fake round looked like a... dildo. So it was kind of funny as well. The 2nd half of the day was spent at SDC and Army Museum. The Army Museum trail was kind of retarded, but the board game at SDC was quite fun. Spammed infantry to defend our base. Was damn unlucky also, kept throwing a "1". :/

AAWC was ok I guess. Had to waste time fixing my kite though, even before I started flying. Thanks to Joel for helping me get my kite into such pristine shape. The wedding after that was AWESOME. The food was...SHIOK. The dancers were great, and the speeches were quite entertaining, though emotional. But hey, what's a wedding without some tears right? Slept at the end part though, still kind of hungover from Spec Course.

Church practise today was kind of epic, cos land up I have to replace Richard for thurifer. Isaac let us bring home the thurifers to practise, although I won't have much time for it.

Went to watch X-Men with Si Ern, Si Yuan, Timo, and Joshua. I have to say, the movie certainly earned its' rave reviews. The film also managed to sneak in a little line or 2. Like poking at the US Military's "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy with gays in the army, as well as throwing George W Bush's (in)famous "If you're not with us, then by definition, you are against us" line, said menacingly by future Magneto. I feel compelled to add in that January Jones looked hoooot as Emma Frost. (Y) for hot telepaths. Feel like watching the original trilogy now haha.

So... it's late, and I still have to chiong to Woodlands for Space Academy.

Good Night

Spec Course Day 2

2011-06-16T23:38:00.001+08:00

Is it me, or do the CLTs suffer from schizophrenia or something. Yesterday scold like some dog, today start joking around. Wow, so much for discipline. To be brutally honest, HQ is screwed. CLTs want scold, also not scolding properly. Even admit that ''I thought yesterday I shout shout very scary, throw file on the floor, some more so drama''. Wtf. So your scolding is actually acting?! Win liao... Joke nvm, during serious stuff also joke. Then suddenly become so serious, obviously acting right. Scold, then turn around laugh with the other CLTs. These people are running spec course, but can't even lead properly.

Another gripe, AWARDS. First off, congrats to Wen Bin for getting Best In Trainfire. Awards are supposed to go to the best people, but what resulted was complete farce. Throughout the entire course, not once did the CLT ask for a volunteer, not even ONCE. How are you to determine those with initiative? Granted, I did not put in my best effort for Spec Course, but recognition should at least go to those who did. Like Ben Cheong the timer, shout so loud, enthu kia. In the end, not even a lick of anything. The CLT just pick the IC himself, then send that IC for the interview. Not enough people? Easy, just pick one person from RGS. Yes, I am jealous, but I'm not trying to initiate rivalry here. It's unfair to assume the superiority of RGS just because they won alot of awards before. The RGS girl that got nominated from my platoon didn't even really do anything, besides asking smart aleck questions. You can tell, just by her mannerism that she thinks she's very smart. The way she speaks gives off arrogant vibes. Not to discredit the award winners, but other people who put in effort should be given recognition as well, and also more opportunities for others to shine. In the end, snagged a 2SG :)

Leadership is, I believe, something inherent in everyone. The degree of effectiveness, however, differs from every individual. Leadership is not something you can teach, something you can say, ''Ok so you learn this today. Go home and mug'' Rather, the key is to develop leadership through experience. Give a person the opportunity, and if he wants to improve, with every opportunity he will hone his leadership skills. So much so that if anything happens, BAM, he knows what to do. That is how I feel leadership should be developed. The gauge of leadership is not how well you scold, or about ruling your men with an iron fist. The true indicator is the performance of your men, and whether they become better AS A PERSON because of you. Good leaders are effective, but great leaders INSPIRE. That should be the case.

Ahh, have to wake up damn early tmr to go SDC for last day of course. Still really happy bout my 2nd Sergeant haha.

Good Night.

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Spec Course Day 1

2011-06-16T00:44:00.001+08:00

Gargh!!! *ragemax* Spec course is a joke, run by hypocritical douchebags.

''Do not bring camera handphones in, or you will be severely dealt with'' HA! What a joke! At least half of the CLTs brought in camera. phone, some playing iPhone some more. And don't come lecture us about standards when you keep spewing vulgarities left and right. ''Forgive me for my vulgarities'' Wah! Forgive you?! Bet you just saying that.so MIGHT look less bad.
Wow, role models indeed.

After that, scold people 1 second, next second start joking around with the other CLTs. The IC marching.us that time, go and mimic him. (Y)

Urgh, what's more, the tests were super guai lan. The GSK, none of our notes materials came out in the paper. Air prof, common sense, and aircraft recognition didn't even come out. Argh *wrings hands*

Then my hair they say I fail. I just freaking got it cut on Sunday. So just now cut it myself, look like a retard now -.-

Too depressed le,

Good Night

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Tricks and Stuff

2011-06-14T00:41:00.002+08:00

HELL YEAH! \m/ Attempted my first successful trick with a kite today. Loop haha :) Not much but it's a start. Still too... traumatised to try a roll. The last time I did that, I had to change kite. Today's flying was quite fun actually. Although there was one time it was damn windy, then the kite was flying super erratically. Danial crashed his in the trees LOL. Had to ask the uncle to help us take down.

He climbed the tree.

Respect man. It was damn cool. Tried dogfighting with Danial, which led to a major scare. The plastic part for the motor mount broke from the carbon rod. Then my ESC was glued together. Lucky managed to scavenge another plastic part and another ESC. Then while Danial was helping me fix I tried to fix the rudder. Landed up burning and glue-ing my finger to the rudder. _|_ Lesson learnt indeed. Zhan Hong and Danial also tried this trick. Cos Zhan Hong built a mini-kite. So he put it on Danial's kite and launch it. Then Danial do a roll/loop and launch Zhan Hong kite. DAMN COOL sia. Haha Zhan Hong also tried taking Malay insults lessons from the Swiss Cottage peeps. Cacat.

Other then that, not much.

Compiling Spec Course notes like crazy now. Everyone's damn worried.

Good Night

The Dark Side

2011-06-13T00:58:00.001+08:00

Of me. Which, frankly, I'm afraid of. Just doing some thinking, and it's kind of depressing. What I mean is, I'm actually a complete douchebag. And I'm not saying this to get sympathy or whatever, I'm saying this because deep inside me is an asshole. Come to think of it, I really don't know who I am. Kind of corny/cheesy, but I guess it's true. I try too hard to conform to other people, to try and make everyone happy. But the moments that scare me are the...how am I supposed to describe it? Heartless moments, I guess? I've discovered that I kind of just don't...feel anything anymore. Like I don't give shit anymore. You could be burning alive in front of me, and if it didn't directly affect me in any way, I could just sit there watching you. Urgh, welcome to my dark side. As in, I only help people cos if I didnt, others would think bad of me. Argh! Fuck! I have no idea why I do what I do. I mean, I really do want to help people. Just that sometimes I would just feel like... ''heck care'' FUCK MAN. I need help...I have no idea what to do with my life anymore.

Nvm

Tmr flying again \m/ Hope can practise more and get better quickly, NCC Day is next month already.

Good Night *tears hair*

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Short

2011-06-12T01:08:00.001+08:00

Is what this post is gonna be. Or at I'll try, since there's still church tmr.

Today's AAWC today was awesome, kite flying was... woooooo! Although kinda pissed when I came. Cos I had to go church in the morning for the CDY Camp meeting. By the time get to HQ, nearly half the stuff on my kite gone le. Motor missing, carbon rod for the control surface, rudder, my transmitter... urgh. Took damn long to cannibalise from other old kites and then fix up again. Then done already, fly quite shuang. But someone ask me try roll. Result: Straight down 90° nosedive. The body tore, front tore off, motor mount broke as well. In the end just decided transfer everything to Kelvin's old kite, which was quite good actually, just that the carbon rod attachment to the control surface was quite loose. Still don't know why the kites cost like $400+ when, like Zhan Hong said, with some effort you can build the kite body yourself. Not like the stuff that hard to find, online should be able to find le. After that, reluctantly got pulled into a dogfight with Danial. Lol, dunno what's up with him and dogfights. Didn't crash though ^^

Left early to go to Godma Terri's birthday. Watched KFP 2 there, which was totally awesome. The epic quotes are endless :P

Other than that today, not much as well.

Good Night

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Randomosity

2011-06-10T23:09:00.001+08:00

Didn't post anything yesterday cos there wasn't really anything to post about.

Come to think of it, not much to post today as well :P So I guess I'm just gonna make it up as I go along...

Ok I admit, I'm getting distracted by the TV.

Oh,got it! Ha, tmr is the City District Meeting for churches. Actually come to think of it, I'm not really sure what's gonna happen to tmr. But apparently, our sacristy is going to be like some kind of open house, I guess?

AAWC tomorrow, gonna fly kite again :D

Haha nothing much today. Didn't leave the house at all :P

Good Night

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Bipolar

2011-06-09T00:34:00.001+08:00

Apparently that's what Jiang Lai was diagnosed with after being admitted into IMH lol. But I digress from today's actual post.

Soooo... something that's been kinda bothering me is when people point out my enthu-ness at N Air, but can't do the same for my studies. :/ More specifically, just those concerned about my studies are asking this. And I wouldn't say I'm super hardcore about N Air. I just, well...like it a lot I guess. So I thought a bit about this then finally came to a conclusion. Maybe I'm just a person who'd prefer more activity rather than sitting for a few hours with piles of books as company. Or maybe, as a result of that, I'm better in N Air than I could ever be when it comes to studies. People, humans, would tend to gravitate more to stuff they are good at, no? I've sort of figured out why I like N Air so much, but still can't put my finger on why I hate studying so much. I keep telling myself that I should work harder, cos in the end I also want to do as well as I can. Yet when it comes down to the wire, I guess I just... procrastinate. Procrastination is supposed to be the period when the brain is deciding to go for the short-term benefits or long-term benefits. Evidently, the ''short-term benefits'' portion of what's left of my brain tends to win most of the time :P

Another thing that irks me is when people point out my PSLE score, or ask questions like ''Why you never go RI/HCI?'' OBVIOUSLY, you didn't look at my current grades before you decided to ask that question. And honestly, I can tell you PSLE is NOT a good indicator. Come to think of it, most of the stuff you learn in school is redundant when you face the harsh reality of, you know, LIFE. Come on, no one's gonna ask you to calculate the interest you owe the bank after 4 years. Just ask the bank, they'll be more than happy to tell you how much you're gonna owe them in 4 years time. And honestly, I can assure you with dead certainty that my PSLE was a fluke.

Raining now. Global Warming seems to be taking its toll on Singapore now...Tanglin Mall would be a rather good example.

Urgh, my SIM card is flopping around on me now... charger also screwing up. What is this, the Middle East?! My electronics trying to start a revolution against me?! T.T

Good Night

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Disappointment

2011-06-07T23:22:00.001+08:00

Yes. Ryan Giggs. DOTY (Douchebag of the year). The revelation that not only did he cheat on his wife, he cheated on her with his brother's wife. Soccer is a sport dominated not only by club rivalry, but also by the sex, money and glamour that comes with it. And that's what makes the impact so much harder. Because you see, Giggs is supposed to be different, the one good thing that exists in a sport constantly making headlines for the wrong reasons. What makes it worse is that he disowned his father and took his mother's surname in retaliation for his father's unfaithfulness. Oh the irony. Giggs was the family man, the one with high morals, who never ended up being splashed on the front page of a tabloid. Now it turns out he's just like any other douchebag out there. He used to be someone I admired, for the reasons stated above, yet now I have lost all respect for him. *Sigh* What a world...

Watched a lot of freddiew today. Realised that Youtuber is sorta like profession, as in you get your salary from well... uploading videos. And also, a lot of of Youtube celebrities are Western Asians (Is that the right term?) Eg. freddiew, Peter Chao, nigahiga, kevjumba, Natalie Tran (Community Channel). And out of all these people, Peter Chao is the only person who I can kind of relate to. The rest have been ''American-ised''. The thing is, why aren't there any home-grown Asians that are well known on Youtube? Does it have something to do with our education system? Stifling creativity for the greater good of academic success? Just something to think about. As they say, If you enjoy what you do, you'll never have to work a day in your life. If only we dared to take that leap of faith, to try something new, it might just work.

Gosh haha, I sound like I'm writing an essay for our English Pack Resource :P

Good Night

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Cancelled

2011-06-07T01:30:00.001+08:00

2 sides to every coin I guess. NDP performance is cancelled, but only cos we are the GOH *spasm* So I guess I'm actually pretty excited about this, cos we'll be able to take charge of it, us being Part Cs and NCOs and all. Lucas still to decide the appointment holders, hope I get something to do. On the other hand, Ze Bin suggested to Sir Goh to replace it with a teacher's day performance. Hmmm, I rather like the idea. Actually thought about suggesting Teacher's Day as an ADDITIONAL performance, since HCI does that as well, but I didn't think they'd take to the idea too kindly. Oh well, Teacher's Day should be an interesting alternative. Haha, best of both worlds I guess.

On a more depressing note, FedExpress lost to Nadal at Roland Garros again. :( Really hope he can win Wimbledon, then can beat Pete Sampras' record. (I think it's Pete) So...Jiayous!

In more uplifting news, my SIM card is working again yay! :D Hope it doesn't die out on me again. Si Ern also offered to replace my earpiece, so thanks a lot to him. Apparently it's quite good, so I'm really grateful. No earpiece has made me feel.... incapacitated while travelling. Urgh just a weird, uncomfortable feeling :P

1.30am liao... Good Night

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Flying~~~ (Tennis Balls)

2011-06-04T23:11:00.004+08:00

Woots Li Na just became the first Asian to win a Grand Slam baby! Haaaaa! Hooray for China! Haha so congratulations to Li Na on accomplishing a substantial feat.

Urgh BOTH my SIM card and my earpiece spoilt T.T $79 dollars gone down the drain after like only 6 months... ARGH _|_ Last time also spoil then I buy the same one again cos it's not bad. Now I really don't want buy it again. Such disappointing quality, and I still have no idea why it's spoilt. My SIM card dying on me...can send message but cannot receive message. So then people think I dao-ing their messages then call me "ccb" -.- SIM card almost as guai lan as Zhi Ming le...

On a happier note, finally managed to fly kite today during AAWC. I think I'm getting the hang of it, but crashed a lot of times as well. Front bar broke, the body tore off from the front part, electronics' bar broke off as well. First training only somemore... *shudder* But overall a really fun training. Noodles~~~ Talk about so much random stuff. Haha I think next training can fly more cos don't need spend time finishing it like today :/ Don't really like flying at night cos have to fly at the parade square, then crash only everything very easy break... Had to solder some stuff at the end. *cringe* Hate soldering, cos I keep imagining if the metal drop on my skin. *double-cringe*

Thanks Lucas and Weng Han for the awesum shades, plus the German Ricola... the orange one is nicer than the pink one lor...

Heh, spent the whole day at HQ, so nothing much else.

Good Night

Songs

2011-06-03T23:26:00.001+08:00

So...

PDS NDP training started today. Got through tornado toss and ''some'' rotations. Truthfully though, other than that we hardly did anything productive today. Spent the last hour letting the Sec 2s experiment with advance drills. But honestly though, I'm quite optimistic about their drills, they can catch on rather quickly. Tried several tarded stuff ourselves as well. Triple jumbo exchange baby. The crowd's gonna go wild \m/ Song choice poll up, and so far it's been favouring my original choice :)

Went to watch POTC today. Lololol is all I can think now. Johnny Depp acting (Y) Line of the movie:
Missionary: We must let her breathe! (Or something liddat)
Jack: I favour the missionary's position
LOLOLOL even though it was kinda awkward that I was the only one that for the joke. *cough* After the movie Edwin suddenly asked me why I always like so angry on FB. My answer went something along the lines of ''Argh!!'' Lol. Had a good time complaining about school on the way home haha. :P

Germany peeps landed today. Haha first thing come back upload pic and re-ignite the poke war. Owwwww...AAWC tomorrow, gonna get mah pwesent :D and so is J______ C___. Awwwwww Lucas, such a sweet guy. You'd make her heart melt ;) Ok better shut up before I lose my balls tomorrow. Flying kite finally ^^

If I Had You ftw!

Good Night :)

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WIBRAF

2011-06-02T23:45:00.001+08:00

Title stands for: When I Become Rich And Famous :D

Haha if only that were true...talking about careers, the military actually looks like a rather feasible prospect. Air Force UAV pilot sounds freaking awesome \m/ hellyeah man. Then again, actually flying the plane itself WOULD be awesome as well. Too bad my eyesight's gonna be a disadvantage :/ Urgh can't believe I missed the Open House for CIP *headbang* Then again, MP seems rather inviting as well cos they PDS like inhuman beasts.

PDS training for NDP starts tmr...and I still have no idea what we're doing tmr :P Hopefully we can sort out the song and start choreography earlier, otherwise it might just be a repeat of PDS comp... :P

Hellyeah man Li Na owned Sharapova in the semis baby! Woooo! Go China! Actually I'm just supporting her cos she's the only Asian, but who cares. Asians owning hot Russians! (Y)

C.L.I.F, the new channel 8 drama is like some sort of propaganda series. The police force portrayed unbelievably positively, plus disguised ''lectures'' in the characters' dialogue. Whoarh man. Plus, the show has so much access to the various resources of the police force, confirm is exchange for ''advertisement'' for our police force. Not to insult anyone or anything, but the series just gives off a ''propaganda''-ish vibe. Uncomfortably awkward... Lol hope they don't come find me after I post this.

Ascension mass today went faster than expected, but other than that, nothing much for the day.

WIBRAF, don't worry, I won't forget you guys! <3 Jussssss :D

Good Night

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PDS Shizz

2011-06-02T00:47:00.001+08:00

Fell in <3 with a song, couldn't get it out of my head...

So who do you think you are?
Running round leaving scars,
Collecting your JAR OF HEARTS

*dreamy sigh* ahhhhh, practically sang it the whole day.

On to the real world!

Today was the PDS AI re-selection, and all 7 who took it got in. Congrats to them *applause* Lol, was raining damn heavily so we stone at YCK Station for a while then decide take cab, which Zhi Ming generously decided to sponsor :D HQ was like almost totally flooded T.T went to the toilet that time, within like 5 steps my entire feet soaked in water. The drain looked like someone turned on a jet engine and submerged it inside. Imagine if you fell in... *shudder* The actual test itself was kinda boring though... although I kinda regret missing out on AI, I don't think I'd sacrifice AAWC for it. AAWC ftw man, can't wait to fly the kites this Saturday ^^

Sad for Zhi Ming, though it'd be unfair to others if he went for both.

Read the papers today, the E.Coli thing caused first fatality outside Germany. Hope Lucas Weng Han Si Ern they all don't kena by it, apparently it's rather severe. Haha reaaaaally jealous now. Want to bang my head against the wall for not trying to appeal in. ARGH!

Nothing much today as well... :P

Ze Bin, inspired now?

Haha, good night world.

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I Have No Idea What Title I Should Put

2011-05-31T22:44:00.002+08:00

HCL Oral today... disaster much? LRJ stopped me halfway through cause I read too many words wrongly. S.C.R.E.W.E.D Conversation went okay, thanks in part to a certain Ryan Lim who forgot his bag. :P Wanted to get home as fast as possible, forgot to find the PDS team list in the Air Store. *face-palm*

I need some serious brushing up for Chinese.

Well, tomorrow's the PDS AI Re-Selection. I really hope all 9 of them can get in. Why must HQ be so complicated, things clashing here and there, left and right. The June holiday schedule might as well be the asteroid belt, what with everything all over the place. Talking about HQ, AAWC was kind of static last Saturday. Flew a glider, and that was pretty much it. Danial flew one when the cover flew off mid-air, releasing all the electronics. *WTF look* Kite almost done, but didn't get to fly it. Yet. Hopefully can do so this Saturday, I'm really excited about it. Zhan Hong has to work like a "factory" (As aptly said by Cpt. Angela Soh) to fix up all the ESCs. Maybe I'll go down on Fri to help.

Just remembered that should have PDS training on Friday. Lol kinda excited about NDP, seems as though we're going to cram loads of advanced drills inside. Haven't choreographed the performance yet. Considering some songs already though, gonna suggest them to the AIs tomorrow...

Recently finished watching some movies. Heh, while we're on the topic of movies, anyone have anything good to watch? Post on my wall if you have. :P

I Am Number 4 was kinda good. I can't really think of much to say though. The effects were nice, especially when Numbers 4 and 6 were using their powers. Teleportation never looked cooler.

Salt was awesome. Angelina Jolie was hot AND acted well. Oh dear, I'm beginning to sound like WENG HAN. Then again, no harm in liking good stuff. Lol. Hope there's a sequel, the ending provided a really good setting for one. Hooray for revenge-seeking hotties hunting down bad-ass Russians. (Y)

TRON was super awesomely cool. The CGI was *drool*...you get the point. Can't wait for the sequel. Gosh I'm such geek. :P

Haha not much happened today, so not much to write about.

Good luck to those going for re-selection tomorrow.

Yes Ze Bin, read this and be inspired.

Good Night

Jar of Hearts

2011-05-31T22:39:00.002+08:00

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Brainwashing

2011-05-30T20:33:00.001+08:00

Holidays? I'm sorry, I don't get you. I thought they died out long ago. You mean they still exist? Wow...So they're actually an endangered species? Less than 20 in the wild?! Oh dear that's bad, that's very bad.

Soon enough we'll have an education system where holidays are well and truly gone. Like South Korea, where the suicide rate is the highest in the world. *shudder* Before you know it students would be brainwashed into believing holidays are but a figment of their imagination

I guess it's pretty obvious I'm not the hardcore mugger type.

I really wanna complain here. Before I just, well, boomz. Realised that I wouldn't be here a long time ago if not for the thought that I would spend an eternity in hell. Thank God for religion, to control the suicide rate.

Argh. Nagging isn't going to help. Crying won't either. Been there, done that. Go ahead, continue bitching off about me to others. I really couldn't give 2 fucks right now. Learnt to keep a straight face, just shut down. Maybe go to a happy place.

Comparing isn't going to ''spur'' me on. Does the complete, shitty opposite. Wanna compare? Compare yourself with others first. Think it's so easy? Bet you couldn't do half the questions in my papers.

Good. Now trying to make my dad feel guilty. He's always been the....''soft'' type. Always living under HER thumb. Come on, be a man and stop being such a servant to her.

Wow. You're ALWAYS the victim, I'm ALWAYS the big bad wolf out to make your life miserable. Maybe it wouldn't be like that if you stopped trying to make my own life miserable. LET GO. I'm not a kid anymore. You can't possibly control everything about me. Tell me not to air dirty laundry out in public? Maybe YOU should do the same you hypocrite.

HCL Oral exam tomorrow. I think I'll have to drop it sooner or later. Could use some China brains now...

Thought I could have a happy day where it actually feels like a holiday.

Looks like I thought wrong.

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CPR blog jerks to life. deep breath

2011-05-30T01:31:00.001+08:00

Haha it's kinda late now. Waiting for my hair to dry before I go to sleep otherwise tomorrow morning it's gonna look like something dropped a bomb on my head. Poofy hair :P

As you can see I have resurrected this blog. Behold my creation! *jaw-drop* Lol. Had to completely revamp this antique. *wipes off dust* Went back to the original template with which I first started out maybe 3 years ago.

A lot has changed since my last post. Ups and downs, mostly downs. Public blog; so not gonna complain here lest it gets out of hand. Sec 3 really changes you. If I were to look at myself now from 3 years ago, I wouldn't think it was possible. Yet here we are. New friends, new class, new teachers. New me. *sigh* Speaking of teachers, gonna miss Mrs Lim. To put it this way, she made life interesting :)

Not gonna rant on and on cos I have tuition tomorrow morning. HCL oral on tues... *flops around like a dead fish*

CIP today. Flag Day. Really broadens your perspective on society doesn't it?
Good Side:
Me: Would you like to donate some money?
Old Auntie: *laughs* I also need money. I not working. *laughs again* Never mind I give you *shakily drops in $1*
Me: Thank You Very Much!

Dark Side:
Me: Would you like to donate some money?
Guy: *pats pocket, about 15 coins jingle in his pocket* sorry I don't have change. *turns to wife*
Wife: *speeds up but takes out purse*
Me: *doesn't try to catch up*
Wife: *turns around, seeing I'm not following them anymore, ''escapes''.*

1 GMH, the other one threw it out the window. Here is an old lady living off her CPF, probably living in a 1-2 rm flat, donating money. Then another human being lying to my face. Wife unwilling to give, even though she's carrying a designer handbag. Both humans, Singaporeans, yet vastly different outcomes. It's like when someone peddles cheap accessories at Orchard, there's enough people around that person to suffocate him/her, but when we try to sell teddy bears that are a fraction of that price, and for a good cause, people shun you like a disease. Saw some interesting people as well. Got this guy with earrings and studs with something from Home Fix, and he's carrying it like a spear. I cautiously approach him and ask for a donation. Even though he declines, he gives me one of the warmest smiles I've seen in a long time. Could tell he Couldn't understand English. Tourist :P

Gosh it's already 1.30am and I'm still rambling. Good night world.

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Zzz...

2009-11-17T16:12:00.003+08:00

Hi? Facebook getting very sian already...Just stare at the screen for 15 min then sound the horn...lol MH. Master already farming pots in the lab. Zzz very unlucky so hard to get =(

Completed my drawing of the generals:

Hi

2009-11-05T17:15:00.002+08:00

Um....so like everyone is bugging me about my super dead blog so...yeah...

Well basically i dun wan to talk about EOYs. Screw the EOYs =) As expected super smart inhuman IQ boy Jyh Hean got top in level. Gratz for him =) Kai Yang got 2nd.

WELL...seems like now the work's REALLY coming in...EL got some book review and other crap. CL also have to copy some shit...Will i survive this holiday? GASP tune in next year to find out.

I think I'm addicted to WT... ==" Sgt 1st Cl =)

Oh ya Si Ern organised a 3rd match wif St Andrew's and we won =) even tho we got less players. They have to sub some guys. Shenglin also pro larh can tackle Yau... o.O'' Didnt score this time cos i play goalie alternate wif Josh...Assisted the first goal.

I'm thinking about cont. my generals' drawing... felt "inspired?" after seeing LAU JIMIN...lolz. Alr did Cross and Yeegar...Tiedoll shd be easier but Zokalo and Cloud Nine will be harder to find pics...

I want Heaven Can Wait in the Top 20 =(

HAPPY NOW CWS?!?!

So thats my spastic life, stay spastic!

Toradora!

2009-09-19T18:24:00.002+08:00

Taiga Aisaka from Toradora!

とらドラ！のタイがアイサカ

Jiayous just wait a bit! More Drawings after EOYs

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

Heaven Can Wait

2009-09-16T17:11:00.002+08:00

Heaven Can Wait

Here's a song for the nights
I think too much and
Here's a song when I imagine us together
Here's a song for when we talk too much
And I forget my words

Heaven can wait up high in the sky
It's you and I
Heaven can wait deep down in your eyes
I'm yours tonight
Lay your heart next to mine
I feel so alive
Tell me you want me to stay, forever
'Cause heaven can wait

Here's a song for the one who stole my heart
And ran so far that cupid couldn't catch her
Here's a song for the kid who aims so high
He shot her down

Heaven can wait up high in the sky
It's you and I
Heaven can wait deep down in your eyes
I'm yours tonight
Lay your heart next to mine
I feel so alive
Tell me you want me to stay forever
'Cause heaven can wait

Here's a song for the nights I drink too much
And spill my words

Heaven can wait up high in the sky
It's you and I
Heaven can wait deep down in your eyes
I'm yours tonight
Lay your heart next to mine
I feel so alive
Tell me you want me to stay forever
'Cause heaven can wait

'Cause heaven can wait
'Cause heaven can wait

Jerry C the awesome...

2009-09-10T13:57:00.004+08:00

OMG CHECK THIS GUY OUT! Those who are musicians shd have heard of this song b4. Then agn its NOTHING compared to this guy. GENIUS.

____________________________________________________________________

So for homecoming day it wasnt too bad. We actually did quite well...though i spent the whole day just putting bloody toppings on the hotdogs...diaoz i forgot to take my break. 0_0''

Jyh Hean's mom says i need to loosen up...

So we made $523 in then end...but got owned by food. Lolz they made $919 and nobody got the soccer ball...Our class fund is going to be super rich.

After that go to PC Bunk wif Vance, Timo and Alwin. Alwin try out wolfteam then say it sucks. Screw him he really no life everyday just play CS.

Going home on the train Vance and Alwin gave me a card for my Bday...so nice X)

___________________________________________________________________

Had Oral on Tues OMG cfm the most random and epic fail in the history of epic fails...conversation i was like almost totally quiet...Damn

After that went to play soccer against St Andrews...At first owning them like 8-3. Then suddenly they Boom! Boom! Boom! become 12-8 to them...shit. I scored 2 X) I header and a left foot ole on their goalie X)))))) Then while i temp for goalie someone slide into me...screw i think i fractured my hand

___________________________________________________________________

Had flight exp ytd...I was IC then everybody like go kachiau me...

Ending forgot to salute during basurai...damn....

___________________________________________________________________

So thats my spastic, homework filled life.

Jon Chew

Homecoming Day, Gardenia and A1s

2009-08-27T22:08:00.000+08:00

YES!!!!!!!!!! I FINALLY GOT MY 1st A1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol i noob right??? Nvm...targeting all As next term...hm have to improve on my CL. History i think need to study more...

Sci: A1

Maths: A2

English: A2 (ARGH MISS BY 2 MARKS!)

Chinese: B3 (Need to do better for the compres)

History: B3 (Need to memorise more)

_____________________________________________________________________

Homecoming Day rescheduled to Next Sat.

Crap Benson cant deliver the goods...have to find another way. Shit we're screwed. Still havent found sponsors....

Anyone out there willing to help me? Gardenia??? Pls???

Lol

Gonna have to work both shifts....Alwin and Vance managed to complete the banner. (Alwin lost it last week) But at least he made up for it X) Tx to both of u guys...Tho Vance had to abandon 3rd Lang to complete it...

__________________________________________________________________

3rd Lang EOY coming up...Oral very nervous...Have to memorise all the kanji cos got no furigana on top...Even that super chao zai show off girl in my class didnt get full marks...

If she reads like a Ferrari, I'd read like a bicycle...Lol

Compo also on-site...no dictionaries...damn.

Gotta mug...Gotta mug...

I want to be good at something =(((

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic

Jon Chew

(I "lol" too much)

On Talks about Life...and Archie

2009-08-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

Lol ytd had a talk. "Social Mission Alive!" Damn Boring sia...except for some of the singing parts. Not that i liked the songs...ok well they were nice but thats not the point. GP was like singing along like a enthu-kia...well its not that bad anyways. I dun even noe why i'm including this section. None of u go to my church. Lol.

This wk Results coming out. I'm so bloody dead. Fail Fail Fail...

Oh Shit i 4got about my Jap E-learning...crap.

More next time

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic

Jon Chew

What I really think...

2009-08-22T14:01:00.000+08:00

My analasys of my 1-1 homies...

This post is not meant to cause offence to anyone. Believe what u wnat to believe in this post X)

1: Washire...ok lol. Wolfteam pro larh. Soccer oso not bad but hardly play wif the "Recess Group"

2: o.O Basketball chao zai. Thick specs...

3: 巨人来了! Nvm...I think he might have a past-life grudge against me...Lol super random

4: o.O Quite hard...I think i understand him but if i say might cause offence...oh well.

5: Class joker...Soccer like to solo...

6: Big,scary,sick and violent. Nvm...his knowledge of "ahem" is commendable.

7: Jon the awesome...

8: Seriously no comment...but very extra.

9: Discipline Rep but doesnt act like it...Lolz

10: No hair....nvm stop suaning him. He is very envious of a certain type of person...*Ahem*Ryan Fong*Ahem* Sth to do wif that.

11: X) Tennis...Lol...chao $$$

12: Soccer super extra chao zai. Wolfteam oso super pro.

13: Unlucky no. ...oh well. Damn Quiet

14: Refer to "13" Twins lol

15: Secretive...somewhat like me in a way...different in others. "someone" lolz

16: Bloody shit-idiot. U dun join Thurs class! Eat shit and die larh.

17: Super nerd.Study...staudy...Study...Geog zai.

18: Cfm Future president. Some type of Super-human leader.

19: lol Keane. SJAB enthu-kia.

20: Idk...? Like to "zam" the ball.

21: Soccer zai. Super loud and noisy.

22: Extra...very self-conscious about his weight.

23: Would be like damn succesful if he wasnt so vulgar.

24: Benson...Like to show off his knowledge...But then agn he very smart wad.

25: Gay??? I dunno.

26: Super random.

27: Soccer super chao zai. Pinch ppl oso v pain sia.

28: No comment.

29: Lol lol lol lol lol lol

30: A lot of people like to joke bout him...very nice guy.

31: Small but dangerous...oh well. Soccer damn pro.... "Arshavin" lol

32: Skinny lol.

33: Vice-chairman lol. 3rd-lang classmate.

34: I know...i know...i know...

35: Softballl... spoilsport.

36: Lol...sex-starved.

37: Chee Fong

Updating that nobody reads...oh well.

2009-08-08T18:26:00.000+08:00

A lot of stuff going on....

::Last month::

Si Ern organised some soccer match against his bro's sch...St Andrew's i think. Joshua ponzed the whole lot of them. won it 2-1 X))
i indirect assist...pass to him but hit brandon THEN he got it then slide past the goalie...GOAL!!!!!!

Si Ern says hes organising agn after MR...see how that goes.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

::this month(cos i cant really rmb last month)::

Jap omg i failed agn... this time by 3 marks...i keep having a recurring nightmare of getting like 20/100 for this year. this time i'm not gonna fail agn...i swear over my dead body...

I got in to NDP contingent yayz but well...our drills aren't really that good so Sgt Ken pumped like shit...but then agn we sucked(Sec ones).

Actual parade didnt screw up but sone guyz did. dunno hu tho. tio pump 44 cos of that...supposed to be 200 actually. hope this helps me in the quest for my staff sargeant post that i would kill to have...mebbe not kill but u noe wad i mean. after NDP got this competition...floorball. ARGH i totally wanted to play but when ask hu want to play i changing out of no. 3...diaoz. wasted opportunity. oh wells theres always next yr...tho its frisbee for sec twos... i'll change faster.(if i get in agn)

bored halfway thru the game so went to play ball. some idiotic 1-9 guy kicked my leg...i so want to like 1 day just kick their LJ to antartica...but i'm the better person...i wont stoop to their level.

Had a Lord of the Flies performance by EL drama grp. nice but didnt understand the ending...random. Had to run around the whole bloody marina bay area wir Jing Yew, Ben Kwa, Hans and AJL to find the stupid theatre.

Downloaded Wolfteam...really fun but addictive...Hans and Timothy addicted liaoz...lolz.

Having a soccer tournament in church tmr...i hope the team i'm in wins X))))

anywayz RIP to michael jackson...i just realised his music is actually REALLY nice...cos i didnt hear any before his death. heres a funny video bout hitler and michael jackosn...

so thats my spastic life...stay spastic.

well...until my next post

Jon Chew

Hypocrisy & True People

2009-07-10T23:43:00.002+08:00

omg i think i just found the BIGGEST BIG-ASS hypocrite in the world. And and and....nvm i'll shut up now....might get in trouble. Incident in class...not gonna say ath but i finally found what true friends are. Like tday was so not true man.

Sigh...

Passed my Jap CA!!!! X) but only by half mark =(((( but i'll study harder for the next one.(Thats what i always say but doesnt happen....ok well mebbe a bit)

Anyone out there actually visiting my blog???? =((( I wonder why i still post....no one taggz.

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chey

Double-you Tee Eff

2009-07-05T17:51:00.005+08:00

OMG i'm just soooo pissed now...

Like for the 2nd time my bros somehow got into my blogger account and created a blog. Luckily one of them stupid enough to visit the blog in my presence. OF COURSE i deleted the screwed blog X).

Right now i feel like dragging them to the balcony and watch fall the 100m to heaven.

I have like ABSOLUTE no more personal stuff now. 2 of my internet accounts so far have been hacked into by those 2 idiots, my bro used my SOCKS &&& BROUGHT MY PHONE TO HIS SCREWED TUITION! OMG like wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf is WRONG with them...

At least i got dirt on 1 of them...dished it out big time X)))) now in total absolute deep shit.

Still dunno when Homecoming Day will be X(((

HW coming fast and furious... but still ok.

Finally found Code Geass R2 though X))) Super cool...Hha Especially with the complications between Suzaku, Lelouch and Rolo... Chinese Federation comes into the picture too though they're not too impt. Rolo's Geass Rawks... Manipulation of Time Perception. Find out what that means urself.

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

C1-1S vs 6F 真不像话

2009-06-28T22:18:00.005+08:00

Wah lau deady....blog.

Nvm had 6F so-called "reunion".

Damn i totally wasted the $26. Yes, i hear you. 26 effing $$$?! Lets get to the point...it was pointless but quite fun in a way. But but but almost everyone go to the park to...play PSP. Hha i'm guilty borrowed Jun Xian's or Jia Ler's PSP damn i forgot to bring mine.

Pics:

Left to right: Benedict, Jia Ler

Punggol Park

Wait till the end part where Jerald flies off (Hes the one in yellow shirt)

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

The Unspoken Hierarchy

2009-06-18T17:49:00.002+08:00

I'm really bored so i decided to write a thotful post for once =))

This (The title) is common is so many places i've been to. I think many of u guyz have sort of "felt" that silent awe when a certain person comes into the room. Hha... usually this means the guy is "on top" of the unspoken hierarchy, or in other words the food chain of popularity. People will go to any lengths just to be in contact wif these so called "better" ones... eg. the rich etc. etc. Sometimes i get overwhelmed by this sensation, then scold myself for believing that these "better" ones are really "better". Everyone is equal. But then again, it seems to be programmed into us that the opposite is true. I wonder if i can do away wif this =)

Then agn, we all need the attention, as human beings. So mebbe its just a human reaction to feel wanted. Unfortunately, some ppl use their standing on the food chain to get what they want unfairly. The ones near the bottom usually suffer bcos of this....leading to bullying and racism and other screwed stuff. Nobody gave the bullies their "right". It is this unsaid fear of him that everyone feels. They unconsciously give their support, the power in numbers, to the bully by idling there. I admit, I myself am unsure what i would do in a situation like that. But for better or for worse, this silent, invisible system shd be done away with.

So that's my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

Dead Fishes and the Kallang Wave

2009-06-13T15:14:00.002+08:00

Hha. Sry nvr post ytd.

So like 1-Star Kayakin finally screwed off. XD The Gay Coach didnt come ytd. So like we learnt some new stuff like the Classic Draw which is supposed to let u move sideways. Oso learnt the Rescue Drill. Highlight of the Day. I kena group wif Daryl Foo and IC Hao Ran (Is that correct?). So like IC Hao Ran is MUCH heavier than me cos i'm only 30+ kg... Quite diff for him. So the Rescue Drill is when someone capsizes and 2 guys are supposed to save the "victim". After the rescuers reach the victim, the victim is supposed to grab onto the rescuer's kayak and hang on there. Rescuers will empty the Kayak of water and help the victim back in his Kayak. Assistant is supposed to prevent the Main Rescuer frm capsizing.

Hha i was like the lightest in the group. IC was using the RMT boat which is harder. OMG we took like forever to empty it. Almost capsized too *_*''. Hha mine was no trouble =)

After that went to AMK Hub eat lunch adn watch movie wif Jia Zhi =) Very tired...go hom sleep after that. Sunburnt...Now my skin is quite dark....Chao Da... =)

Hha...Everyone passed for kayaking. Still didnt find any condoms...

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

1☆ Kaya-King ( Kai Yang XD )

2009-06-11T18:46:00.002+08:00

Whoa like today was super screwed...

I woke up at like 6am... diaoz quite late. Nvm. Eat Bereakfast blah blah blah. Reached sch. Everyone wearing PT. Then out dear Brandon Francis comes along in his going-out clothes. The ONLY guy. *_*" Hha. Actually the SMS said wear ath u want. Great minds think alike (or "fools seldom differ" from Dai Lao Shi =D) So kayak for like 3-4 hours. Wah lau damn sianz, cos like ur feet are stuck in this awkward position... Learnt all the basics.

*Note: The coach previously taught at Catholic High Primary *_*''

Did Capsizing Drill. Why the heck would anybody capsize themselves??? So like Ian capsized near a dead fish (Stank) and Jian En actually capsized ON ONE. Ewww....

After that arm cramp, leg cramp blah blah blah place oso cramp. Had short shower, changed and go bus stop take bus to Kallang MRT. Guai Lan bus driver take like 30-40 mins come to the bus stop. So we just stone there for damn long. Three "16"s came but after that finally got "11" Wtf...

Went wif Ian, Ryan, Jia Zhi, De Jun to KFC. Then go home XD

P.S Anyone can tell me why ppl like to think there are condoms in the water???

So that's my spastic life. Stay spastic! (For IC Nick Wee XD)

Jon Chew

RF

2009-06-07T23:55:00.002+08:00

After 13 Grand Slams, Roger finally gets his hands on the Roland Garros X))))

Hha, I like super happy... I've alwys like Fed...Mebbe cos hes a nice guy =))) &&& He finally beat Nadal to the French Open. 1st Set rocked... Like My best fren and his family came over to watch the match. So like the championship point we were all like damn... tense liddat. Can almost FEEL the anxiety.

Tag Replies:

Snr Alvin: Linked alr

IC Nick Wee: Hha, see whether u can catch me...mebbe i'll get my part to bomb u if i get that post.

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

COUNT BY THE COUNT BY THE LEFT FOOT COUNT BY THE

2009-06-05T15:22:00.005+08:00

1! CANT HEAR U ARH! 2! SPEAK LOUDER LARH! 3! THATS BETTER ARH! 4! ALL TOGETHER NOW! 1,2,3,4 CAT HIGH AIR GUYS ALL THE WAY! WE LIKE IT HERE WE LIKE IT HERE WE CALL OUSELVES AT HOME! HOME! HOME! HOME! HOME SWEET HOME! *BANG*

oh hha...NCC Air Cheer. Just came back from Annual Camp. ARGH! The Drills Comp. narrowly got 2nd... nvm bout that. hha i didnt fail my 1st Aid Test =))) Then then then sth really screwed happened at the camp. So like the ICs let us practice Sentry Duty.. which was quite fun lah. (Crazy Zhi Ming ask when we will stop "playing". wth its PRACTICE) So like up goes Brandon to take Main Duty... IC Ken is the "enemy" Brandon goes up and about to search IC Ken. (*Note before we search we have to stamp our foot near the guy's *ahem*) So Brandon not focusing... and actually KICKS IC KEN IN THE BALLS. IC Ken had to go find the medic. omg that must be the most screwed up thing i've ever seen. I almost cried laughing.Ok i stop suaning IC Ken.

Then PT was pretty okay...cept for the pull ups. Wth we had to do 40 PULL UPS. But but but nvm cos its to train up our strength. Ze Bin got chosen for challenge quest. hha Gd job. I think he will be the next PTI...

Had water bomb...hha u shd have seen IC Toh Hong...Then IC Nick Wee kept coming after me... sth to do wif this blog... bombed Jyh Hean =))

Haiz...now im damn sianz...Msn-ing lorhs...I miss sch. Next week's Water Ambassador and 1-Star Kayaking. I ~~think~~ hope i'll pass XD

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic

Jon Chew

"Before you know it, you'll be standing here, in front of your own cadets"

2009-05-31T00:15:00.002+08:00

I cant believe it. It's already June. Half a year. 5 months. 20 weeks. 140 days. 3360 hours. All gone by so fast. My classmates...1-1 you all have benn very impt. to me. Tx guys. haha. Si Ern for the soccer, Brandon for the countless jokes...Joel Yap XDD in a flash..all these will pass and we'll be streamed.

NCC Air... TX so much too. In just 2 years, i'll be standing in front of my own cadets...the one shouting the drills, running with them for PT... PART A 09 U RAWK.

Annual camp now. IC Benny said gonna have morning PT, afternoon PT, Night PT. DAMN hha im put in platoon Bravo...

Shit i need to find the camp form *_*"

So thats my spastic life. stay spastic!

jon chew

Deep shit and me

2009-05-26T18:07:00.005+08:00

This is seriously screwed cos Homecoming day is like THE 1st SAT OF TERM 3! AHHHH! The whole's things in deep shit. I'm the food AIC and the details not figured out yet. So i'm trying to get sponsors fr the food. Hello big companies? Anyone??? Lolz.

I'm quite looking fwd to Term 3. Cos like there will be Home Economics for me. yays! Free recess &&& no more noisy, dusty workshop. Crap. Sneezing non-stop. Also...got History. Trying to make up for Geog disappointment. =_="

Ok like tmr is slack day. Thurs might be going out wif Kenneth to AMK Hub. Lolz. Then oso Julian v nice today. XD tx Julian. Shit then tmr oso NCC Air training. Damn. I hope theres soccer. Talking bout soccer... 1-9 they'all try and bully our class. WTF we chope the field 1st OKAYY? Think cos u sports class so high and mighty. I noe theres some nice guys in 1-9, jus that there are a few black sheep.

Class reunion in June...Diaoz i have this feeling like i shdn't go, 'specially since Leon's gonna organise. But i'm still going. They also got class blog...finally. I wanted to create but scared not enough publicity. Now I'm not a mod. Its ok jus that we have a noob managing the blog...No offence to anyone.

&&& tday watched "Kite Runner" quite nice cept for the rape part. Ok that was sick. I hope i treat my frens like Hassan treats Amir...tho i wan to keep my virginity. XD

I need help for Homecoming...

So that's my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

Soccer is my drug

2009-05-23T12:56:00.003+08:00

NO! Had Sports night, then a bit boring but got to play soccer X). Actually is I just went to watch, but then Aw Shen very nice, lemme play so he sub off and I replace him. Tx man. XD First time since dunno when i play as defender. Closest i got to was goalie. So defend defend defend. Lionel was playing, but not as good. Probably a bit tired alr. Got hit in the head with the ball, saved a few crosess. Ow... But the central defender(I think his name is Kenneth, if not wrong. Sec 4 de) very reassuring. Like help give out instructions. Tell who to mark etc etc. Wth even Mr. Paul Lee on the sidelines shouting out what to do, like the manager liddat. Cool... But also snr Yong Hwee got cramp. Shit. Probably lost cos of that. referee nvr give extra time so we lost on penalties 0-1. &&& the goal was like effing short, so everybody either miss or the goalie save, until this guy from track scored. Shit. Snr Yong Hwee tried to take, but kena save...

So Edward got last for overall... Diaoz...I was wearing the Primary Sch PE-shirt. Damn. Mebbe next yr i try out for track. lolz. But I'm so short probably get last. not even in round 2 of heats. U see Joshua Tan run very fast, jus that his legs not long enough...

EDW ARD **

ED WARD HOUSE ***

Aiyah then also saw my chi marks for semester 1. Crap. This term get better marks but cos of Term 1 thats why pull me down. Emo until recess. Dunno why after recess very happy, cannot jus wallow in myself. Mebbe cos of soccer...

So thats my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

I'm SO NOT gonna take Geog

2009-05-19T22:50:00.003+08:00

Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn SHIT! ARGH! My Geog marks was totally effed up. NO NO NO! Then my Da Ge get so high but WTH?! HE GET ONE "B" FOR MR NOT HAPPY?! Shit. I get ONE "A" I very happy already. SO SO SO... Geog I think like mebbe a "C" or very very low "B". But my Science VERY satisfied. A1!!!!!!!!! Wah finally my 1st A1 this year. Heng ah... Wierd. Cos like I Don't really like Science but I end passing my expectations... lolz but my Geog still SUCKS! I can't wait till History comes around. I like it, but seems many people all stereotype it. Say very boring etc etc. You know? Nvm. On to happier things.

Tomorrow got IMT again. MUST BEAT MY PREVIOS SCORE! I wan beat JH and Daryl, but their arm strength much better then mine so... I can't evn hold the M16 without it like... trembling. Diaoz...

&&& my phone damnit. Connection a bit spoil. ARGH! i won't survive without my phone! But still need to send for repair, mebbe this Sat. Talking of phones.... got 2 people today (won't say who) borrow from Mr. 1 and Mr. 2. Then AK go confiscate. She shout very scary... My own phone almost kena, but cos got low batt so i dun want to lend to Mr. ___. Close call.

ARGH! 3rd lang CA3 this week! Gotta study...

So thats my spastic life. Stay Spastic!

Jon Chew

230

2009-05-17T16:36:00.002+08:00

ARGH! DAMN @#?! I'm thinking like "What the HELL?!" Friday was seriously effed up. 230! That's the total nimber of pumping we did. 230! Freak man. Saturday my arms, legs, stomach all effing ached like shit. Sometimes I wonder if our ICs are human. Mebbe they're from the government in a conspiracy. Like...55 pumping at 1 shot? What. The. F___?! Then i tell the IC my hands too weak, cannot already right, then he laugh at me like I'm a mental retard. Freak. Like that not enough, they play the "Tiam" game. Shit. I screwed up. They try to make a Part A laugh. Wah Lau i was literally biting my toungue of so i won't laugh. Finally lost it when the IC say: " CHAO 你妈妈带我回家!" whoa, lost it. Trembling...

ANYWAYS... To the happier side of life. MAN U WON!!! HAHA! LIVERPOOL KISS MY F___ING ASS! You'all go chao YOUR MOTHERS! HAHAHAHAHA! (I have intentionally left out some vulgarities that would make Jose Mourinho cry). So next year i hope Man U can get all 5 titles. That would be nice.

Just installed Gears of War. Pretty cool but a LOT of blood and gore. Fast-paced and one of the best shooters i've played.

Nothing Else so That's my spastic life! Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

Jyh Hean Needs A Hug

2009-05-14T21:56:00.003+08:00

WOOOO! YEA MAN! i passed my chinese! wah lau like that i also so happy. a bit siao lah. then after get back marks i go around hugging everyone in class. then jireh look at me very funny lolz. But then emo Jyh Hean go very angry then push me. Wah lau that guy seriously needs some happiness in his life man. But back to Chinese, I think this time pass cos i study lor, don't want fail agn. But then also Joshua don't care, fail fail lorh. Sad guy man... So The Paper I pass larh. not good but then again i'm not complaining. Then also my si han better get higher lehs. The compo i happy lah... so total i get JUST at the B3 mark. Go figure.

BUT BUT BUT. wah @?#! man the science i'm going to kill myself lehs. I don't like science but usually i get marks i'm pretty happy with. then this MR i get bottom 10 in class lehs. Damn shit man. Then surprise surprise Wei Sheng got highest for science. Good job arh Wei Sheng.

Then also today Sze Liang's birthday then every lesson teacher some in then go tell him/her that today his birthday. So in the end sing like 4-5 times. Diaoz... *_*''

3rd Lang today wah very happy de. The counters test i get 15/20. HAHA ALWIN IN YOUR FACE! Actually i get same marks as him, but like that i same marks i very happy already. But but but the teacher i don't like. Very fierce wan.

Shooting yesterday also very fun. Go SAFRA for IMT. The gun so heavy then i no arm strength so confirm lose to Jyh Hean All those. Then Daryl also pro lah, get 17. something. But Wei Yu go ponz him get highest in squad: 16. something. Wah lau i think i like 4th or 5th like that. Best was 25. something. BUT BUT BUT the delibrate target i headshot the "immortal" guy. lolz. Unintentional. After that ICs make us pump for PT a bit then sickos lah they all.

IC: You see all their butts go up go down so shiok.

Another IC: Yah Lorh, Wah you see you see. Shuang ah!

OMG I'm not gonna survive if they like that all the time man. Gotta train up my arm strength lah...

So i think now after MR got more time. Post everyday XD!

So that's my spastic life. Stay spastic!

Jon Chew

Joel Yap, Lisu Woman and Life's Little Mysteries

2009-05-08T18:30:00.004+08:00

HIIIIES ALL! MR has finally effed off! H.A.H.A! Stupid MR make me study properly for the first time in my life lah. *cursing under my breath* now over finally can slack a bit, but the teachers dunno why so "evil" then give us summary and compre to do. Luckily due on Thurs.

Then also Mon supposed to go out wif 6F friends, but then Daryl Foo ALSO go arrange on Mon. Shit lor. So I decide go with the 6F, cos so long haven't seen them.

Today also very funny cause Brandon keep talking about Mr Mac, Mr Krishnan and Joel Yap. I laugh until my guts all pain liaoz. Wth, he just need to say "Mr Mac" then i cannot stop. *_*" diaoz. Then ACC very funny cause the teacher (Who Brandon also make fun) show us this vid where got a woman no clothes on. Then the whole class started going "ooohhh.....". Naturally, I looked away...Maybe. XD OKOK lah. I'm not a pervert OKAY?

HAHA, sayonara to MRs and HELLO slack time! XD

Amen

Jon Chew

Its "labour" alright

2009-05-01T22:19:00.002+08:00

first things first....JH WAD WERE U THINKING?! U NOE RIGHT NOW IM SO PISSED I DUN FEEL LIKE TALKING TO U ANYMORE!(lol im starting to act like a girl) NVM! SOONER OR LATER I'LL FIND OUT YOUR BLOG ADDRESS!

ok...*cools down* ARGH! @?!# i cant! stupid labour day. supposed to be a holiday damnit. then land up next week got stupid MR then tmr oso hav to pass up compo for tuition. ARGH! luckily ot a bit of slack time lah...*_*"

next thing...(to alwin) lemme draw the generals!!! i WANT!!!

andandAND! code geass SO SAD! wah lau Euphy died then now Suzaku cfm going to kill lelouch. Finally saw V.V though...hair so long. if code geass has only 1 season i'm going to kill the producers. I WANT CODE GEASS SEASON 2! MEBBE 3 or 4 or 5 or 6...

April really isnt my month. failed Jap! ARGH! i REALLY wanted to pass! stupid alwin 31/35. N.V.M! CA3 i study HARDER! but then again i really need my June break. and oso term 3 will be History! NO MORE GEOG!!! *evil laughter*

i'll upload the drawing of the generals another time. probably after MR.i think theres:
Cross Marian
Kevin Yeegar
Froi Tiedoll
Cloud Nyne(hard to get close up pic of this one to draw)
Winters Zokalo

so thats my spastic life. stay spastic!

crazychewie

コードギアス：反逆のルルシュ

2009-04-29T11:49:00.003+08:00

YEAH!!! like it? scan sux. must see it for real. the lines are too light =(

for a reason...dun worry. God will work it out

2009-04-24T19:01:00.002+08:00

i've come to 12yrs old and im marvelling at the change that has come over me. remember primary 3? haha..."eww... its a girl..." remember now? lolz. im still trying to find myself. my REAL one. something i told jing yew the other day:
"ppl are themselves when they experience the emotion. i BECOME the emotion"
its complicated.
at 12, im struggling wif my feelings and my very self. i've put on a show too many times. i'd like to have some soul searching.

and something struck very deeply in me tday. most of you wont noe hu sean is. sean wong. (sean if u r reading this i hope everthing turns out ok.) the thing was, that he was crying. not to make fun but sean doesnt look that sort. he's alwys seems so happy... wif life, everything. im the total opposite. it made me realise that love is so dangerous. it can bring out the best in ppl, i agree. then agn, it cd destroy ppl too. wad i saw wasnt very comforting.

i mean, u see my frens. take a look. at some point or other they hav liked the opposite sex. hans for example. i've had frens who wished catholic high was mixed sch. but im not so despo lah. it isnt the looks. its the personality. looking back now, i've made some stupid moves, revealing part of who i really might be. i try not to show myself, try to conceal it as best as i can. then agn, ppl screw up. reflecting, i might actually have a crush. but im not even sure myself

so thats my spastic life. stay spastic!
crazychewie

the reason Man U will alwys be the champs. liverpool, kiss my ***

2009-04-21T19:27:00.001+08:00

lolz this is super funny. ripped frm IC Ken's blog (apologies)

When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.The chief export of Nemanja Vidic is Pain.If you beat a team containing Nemanja Vidic in Pro Evo it will cause your PS2 to blow up.In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Nemanja Vidic could use to kill you - including the room itself.Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one.Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.Nemanja Vidic played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".Nemanja Vidic hates The Beatles; two to go.Nemanja Vidic crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.Nemaja Vidic once woke up in a foul mood. The result was the Yugoslav wars.Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Vidic once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so eitherFergie didn't drop Darren Fletcher, Nemanja Vidic dropped Darren Fletcher.Nemanja Vidic doesn't mark players, he permanently stamps them.Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early.Nemanja Vidic doesn't head the ball away, the ball heads the other way.Nemanja Vidic can slam revolving doors.The 'big bang' was a Nemanja Vidic tackle.Vidic once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.Superman owns a pair of Vidic pajamas.Vidic never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.The only time vidic was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.Nemanja vidic once beat a wall at tennis.Once a cobra bit Vidic's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.Giraffes were created when Nemanja Vidic uppercutted a horse.When vidic gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live, and if you leave this group Vidic will give you the finger

Mixed Feelings

2009-04-17T21:18:00.002+08:00

a tribute to all my seniors who have guided me through the beginning of my NCC life.

a great big THANK YOU to you all. without you i would be a totally different person. thanks for all the help, care, concern (and discipline? nah)... wishing you all the best in everything you do...seniors

tday POP was shorter then i expected, not complaining =). sad 2 see staff yongliang, sargeant ernest, (sargeant rong xuan? haha) and all the other seniors go. but quite funny after POP. the seniors all go throw their berets on the floor. then got one step on it. lolz. then sarge rong xuan v funny one, try and trick IC toh hon into dropping the beret. haha, IC's too smart 4 tt lah. tried hard not to laugh.

sarge: come on, throw it to me!
IC: *shakes head* dun wan
sarge: COME ON! dun worry, here i'll take frm you *holds out hand*
IC: *suspiciously looks at sarge, slowly put into his hand*
sarge: oops! *pulls away hand*
(luckily IC caught it)

so tt was really wierd.

btw on wed the rehearsal got somene faint lehs! VERY damn scary. lean foward then *BAM* falls flat on his face, whole nose got blood. scary.

so thats my spastic life. stay spastic!

crazychewie

Life According To Jon

Haiyo

Another New Year

Snowballing

Hope and faith

311211

Ragnarok

Cannot make it

Present

Confirmation Camp

Again

OBS Day 4-5

OBS Days 1-3

Bleh

Disappointment

Choices

RTS

Good Morning!

Screw Ups

Ghosts

Failshit

Whatthefindingnemo

SCYSF

EOY Day 1

Wishful Thinking

Help

Pfft

Decisions

BODY! Y U NO CO-OPERATE!

Lunacy

Imma make you pay

Emptiness

Mt Ophir/Gunung Ledang/Kim Sua

SSC

Weird

All About Tonight

If Life had Keyboard Functions

National Day

Jail Time

Because

Mooosh! Creedyyyyy

110th NCC Day Parade 2011

Loud Noises

Playing God

FUN FUN FUN FUN

HEARTCORE

AAWC

STUFF

Stupid Shizz that I need to sort out

SOooooooooo

NCC Day Rehearsal No. 2

Homecoming Day

Quickupdatethatsgonnabelongcanyoureadthis?

Superpostcosneedtocatchupnvrpostfornearlyaweek

X-MEN

Spec Course Day 2

Spec Course Day 1

Tricks and Stuff

The Dark Side

Short

Randomosity

Bipolar

Disappointment

Cancelled

Flying~~~ (Tennis Balls)

Songs

WIBRAF

PDS Shizz

I Have No Idea What Title I Should Put

Jar of Hearts

Brainwashing

CPR *blog jerks to life. deep breath*

Zzz...

Hi

Toradora!

Heaven Can Wait

Jerry C the awesome...

Homecoming Day, Gardenia and A1s

On Talks about Life...and Archie

What I really think...

CPR blog jerks to life. deep breath