Emptiness

I guess it isn't helping that I don't have anyone to talk to right now to distract me. Suddenly thought of the lyrics to The Click Five's Empty. Old song, and slow as well. I don't usually go for slow songs, but hey, this one makes an exception :) "We're empty..."

Which is kinda how I've been feeling the past week or so. Actually, confusing, more than anything. I guess posting on Facebook temporarily releases the stress of life, but then again, doesn't really help much. I'm not making sense right now, am I? Gosh, I think I honestly might be going a little crazy right now, bottling everything up inside. Time bomb much? I have no idea what's going to happen when it does explode. Recalling another memory now, and of all things from Madagascar. "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave..." And isn't that all I can do now? Writing all this off the top of my head now. I guess isn't that where we reveal the most of our humanity (or lack thereof?)

"Y'see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are" The Joker (The Dark Knight)

And I guess the world really is going to hell. Not just for everyone, but I guess to certain extent, me too. Is it right, to wish misfortune on others solely for yourself? Probably most people would've answered "no". On the other hand, is it wrong to fight for yourself, for what you believe in and want, and think that you deserve? Rephrasing does have the effect of mindfucking most people.

Doesn't help that the other person is like a brother to me.

Am I giving too much away? Mm, maybe. But then again, doing it has a rather cathartic effect. Although I seriously have no idea what's happening to me.

Can't wait to grow up and clear all the stupid shit from being a teenager out of my system. It'd be nice to forget everything once in a while.

Just thought of NCC. Then again, I don't think that'd be too surprising. I guess I love it so much is cos it just focuses your mind on one thing, whether it's coordinating the drills, or putting your next foot forward doing PT. Really let's you dive into another world of timings and physical endurance. Kinda distracts you from all the shit. Then like cold water to the face, training ends, and you're slammed headfirst into reality.

God help me, I'm really confused right now. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the joke that is my life

Good Night

Mt Ophir/Gunung Ledang/Kim Sua

Haha I guess this is kinda late. BUUUUTT seeing as Saturday was total a stone day to "recover", and Sunday was more or less "busy" with homework, I guess it's forgivable :D

As always, I KINDA started packing late. Then again, the packing list was so inaccurate, it didn't really matter I guess. Apparently my parents sorta remembered the stupid deal about not getting any Cs at all, and as a result, "negotiations"... were required. Now I have to fulfill 7 conditions. Of which adding my parents on FB is Number 1. FML. In case they DO read this post, I'm not going to say any more. The walls have ears...

Reached HQ before 8pm, and there was only 1 other guy there. So we kinda stoned with the PDS AIs who were staying overnight, till about lights out time. Sleeping in the learning terrace, which was FRIGGING cold. In the end we laugh laugh joke joke until cannot sleep. Sleep already also couldn't sleep properly cos of the cold. Landed up 3.30 we go outside to the canteen and sleep there till we had to wake up. (Y) Bus ride there, was BORING. Didn't help that we just kept to ourselves. REALLY wished I had brought along my phone. Luckily for my sanity, Ze Bin brought along an MP3 player, albeit with really little songs. But oh well, at the very least I didn't go crazy.

Reach there rest, then after that had our outdoor activities. Flying Fox and the obstacle course. The flying fox was damn slooooooww haha, but it was cool actually doing it in the jungle, so that probably made up for it. The obstacle course was coooooool shizz. The commando crawl actually used barbed wire, although very little haha. BUT STILL... it totally owns HQ's MOC :D

The next day trek was hardcore. Wake up then hurry up pack our stuff then start climb le. The totally worst part was that the stupid equipment was frigging smelly from THREE previous batches. So the entire trip we were smelling 3 days' worth of sweat. Although you don't really focus on the when you're climbing. You just kinda will yourself to take the next step. Kinda wasted that we didn't go all the way to the top. Heard the view would've been awesome. Soooo we stayed at the end-point for around an hour (We slept for most of it) before heading back down. Forgot to mention the cute awesome dog that followed us from base camp. Haha fed some of our bread to it. Come back already, we more or less crashed in the room till dinner. The campfire was kinda fail, especially since no one really bothered to plan properly for the performances. Although the fire itself was rather big... impressive. Watched The Dark Knight before sleeping. Relieved to have something in english for once :P

Next day was sorta survival training. The jungle cooking was damn fail cos the fire was so hard to sustain. Didn't help that it started drizzling as well. Our egg only became soft-boiled (although according to the instructor, it was edible). The potato, total (N).

Going back was rather much the same, except perhaps that Lucas was more hyper than usual, and Ze Bin was emoing more than usual, probably cos of his wife :P Cheer him up also cannot. Sighh...

I guess that's about it for Mt Ophir...

Good Night :)

SSC

Ahhh I guess it's my birthday, technically. I shouldn't be emo-ing, but well, I guess I am :/ Was hoping to go into HQ on Sat and come out with something. Land up neither Air Comp nor SSC fulfilled that hope :(

Air Comp was a disaster for my category, not just for me. All the usual people, save for ACSI, crashed out in the 1st or 2nd round. Then land up NORTHVIEW come and own everyone like siao. I was hoping to have a chance to get to the finals. Land up, I must've offended somebody or what, I launch that time the prop become loose. The inevitable crash was, to say the least, extremely depressing. The usual suspects like Yak Hang, Alvyn, even DELVIN didn't make it past the 3.5m T.T such a disappointment :/ The rain I prayed for came, but at the totally wrong time, when we were just about to commence the Open Cat. Land up postpone to this sat. And I have Ophir, so no choice DQ lor :( gargh Air Comp, nothing at all... NOTHING.

SSC was ok guess, just that I only knew 2 ppl in my platoon. But oh well, managed to make frens, especially in my section :D I wonder if the Chung Cheng Top 5 is really all gay. Hm... Mutuals was thankfully fine, thanks to my APC Justin Ho :D then come the awards. Was hoping to come away from HQ with at least something. False hope... Gone! Poof! Disappeared into thin air. I think maybe I would've preferred it if I didn't make it onto the shortlist, and have that one chance torn away from me, especially since NCC is such a big part of my life...

And all I can do is just smile and carry on.

On a separate note, really confused now I guess, because something happened to me that shouldn't have. I don't know to fight for myself or for others. Sigh... I guess personal happiness, fun, joy, peace and laughter has its price as well :/

On the (sorta) brighter side, at least I got my lanyard and rank. I must say, its cooler than I expected :D

Haha oh well, I guess I should be happy today. Still haven't decided if I'm going to watch The Cat tmr :P

Good Night

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Weird

That's what today was... in a nice awesome kinda way. Today I missed normal training (again :/), this time cos of PDS. But it was kinda ok I guess, just hope and pray tmr dun screw up :P

And then after training Lucas gathered the Part Bs, who wished me happy birthday :D awwww~~ the presents were awesome. The board with their names and the spammage of ''chewie'' at the bottom, the card javier and kit ee wrote for me, and the speakers :D haha omg... at the risk of sounding gay-ish, I love you guys! And you too Lucas, and all the NCOs! ^^ haha. Looks like I made the right choice of CCA :D Lucas next year I know we pass out alr, so I'll get the entire unit to do something for you for POP instead :D and THEN, we'll rape and taupok you on the field ^^

Haha after that went to play soccer for a while. Going back that time decided to use Weng Han as target practice. Landed up hitting the chairs... with Zheng saw and promptly pwned us. BUT, as always, the best solution is... Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave... gosh I don't make sense sometimes ._.

Haha I guess thats about it for today, just hope tmr goes smoothly.

Good Night

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All About Tonight

New Pixie Lott song. Awesum. Nuff said

Gosh, feels like a lifetime since I last blogged. Maybe it had something to do with my total lack of internet access since exams started. Just saying... :P

To sum up what's happened since exams... well obviously I've gotten back all my results. And for lack of a word strong enough to describe them, I shall settle with ''fucked up''. I feel like just going ''ARGH!!!'' Not forgetting the *repeated headbang* ow... Both maths especially were a total disappointment. E Maths totally blanked out, and A Maths was careless until ''vomit blood'' is an understatement. All I had in my head when I got back the results was what Mr Teo wrote on my paper.

Expected better from you

Yeah well, I had hoped so as well. But things obviously didn't go the way I wanted to right? Doesn't help that my A Math retest slammed that in my face. Sigh... now I've deproved from Term 2, and this term is supposed to be EASIER. Gosh... Lit was a total let-down as well. Murphy's Law is such a bitch T.T

Oh well, made up my mind to chiong after September Holidays. For real this time. No more ''oh talk only no action'' FOR REAL. I'm gonna prove that woman wrong, and shove the A1s in her face. But concentrate on mugging... can't count your chickens before they hatch :P

Air Comp and SSC starts this Sat. I don't know whether to be nervous or excited. More nervous I guess. Especially the mutuals for SSC. And I still not sure if I ponning church. God, will you understand? The SSC schedule so packed... :/ Air Comp training has been going ok I guess... just pray that day minimal wind.

Decided to take aero seriously as a hobby... alr found most of the stuff I want online. I'll have to fulfill another deal with my parents before they decide to... sponsor me haha. Thinking of following Delvin, make my own kites from corrugated plastic. The one during AAWC was a total fail :P saves me the $ from buying new aircraft, although I am eyeing the Katana mini...

Mt Ophir's put me in a bit of a spot... my parents haven't allowed me to go, but the forms have been handed in... guess I'll have to try to salvage the situation with another deal.

Oh well

On the bright side, Man U took Arsenal apart with 8 goals. That's right, EIGHT. Demolished, routed, destroyed, ate up, decimated, vaporised... you get the idea ^^ I guess that's all for now

Good Night

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