Realisation

So I'm typing this in the sacristy in church now cos I just need to get it out.

Funny how it's never to a person, always this blog.

Why don't we just be more hive minded. If everyone understood each other than everyone could mutually benefit. Because that's the key to human relations. Understanding. It's not just knowing the other person. If you can really put yourself in another's shoes, then everything becomes clearer. Like the ending in Inheritance, when Evil Baddie Galbatorix kills himself because he understands pain and suffering caused by him. Weird example, but you get the point.

Problem is, no one is really willing to open up. It puts them in a vulnerable position. You keep it to yourself and hope everything works itself out. Everyone always thinks they're sure. ''Definitely'', you tell yourself. But if you take a step back afterwards, you realise you weren't very sure in the first place. You just thought you were.

You see, what did I tell you? Don't believe me, now look at the shit you're in.

Your brain's closer to your mouth than your heart, so think with the former not the latter before you speak.

Bloody frustrated.

Even win last night also cannot be happy. Arrogant crybaby Suarez. Don't want shake hand. In the wrong still want guai lan. _l_

Fuck this shit, family is a burden.

Good Night

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Somebody That I Used To Know

Had a long talk with the Part Cs yesterday night. In the end 9pm reach home. Feels so weird, because I remember last time seniors did that with us. Talk about once we take over, how you must study hard (really wish I'd listened to that), joking about teachers... Then now I'm in that position. Sharing the world from a senior perspective. And thinking back to when we took over it's really just like yesterday, and 10 months just went by so quickly. Like poof! POP, Spec Course, NCCDP, SSC, Mt. Ophir, OBS...

Haiyo now I forgotten what I wanted say liao

Oh yes! Remember liao! It's cos I was like talking to Wen Bin yesterday, and school came up. And most people are ''CHS? Good school right?'' But when you take a closer look it's mostly because of the top classes. When Mr Quay showed us his last year Double Science class results and you see how bloody dismal it is, it just made me realise ''I'm fucked''. The wonderful results the ''school'' has is just a facade. They should be saying ''Our triple science classes have done exceptionally well! (As usual. And as usual, the bloody burdens over in double screwed up our MSG)'' I bet if they could, they would never release the double science classes results in case they lose face. And that's the problem right there isn't it? Almost every school only wants the best to be better. That way they can cover up the double science. The rest are left to flounder about. Hell, even some tuition centres have entrance exams. Wtf is this shit? Even Jesus was like ''I'm here to help to help those that need it, not those who are already fine'' Doctors are here to help the sick, not administer to the healthy. So better teachers should teach weaker classes, not the other way round. But it's also partly our fault. Just look at my class. Chemistry free period start going crazy. Other classes would be doing homework but noooooo, we have people who start throwing stuff at each other. Even sleeping would be ok.

In short, I'm pretty much screwed.

At least we won tonight.

Good Night

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Haiyo

Tsk tsk, only end of January already and I no motivation. How survive Term 3... *headbang* Start of the year wah, do ALL the homework! Now more like, meh... Actually I realise January end quite fast...

9 more months...

And still so many problems haven't sort out.

I think too many people put on a parade. Just for appearing to be good people. It's like a super-talented person act modestly. I don't know lah, maybe it's good. Sometimes it's annoying. Lost chances. Everyone needs courage, but how many actually go all out?

Haiz

And now I'm looking at my bro's rankless No. 4 and thinking, if only can go back to last time. No worries. No hurt. No constant mindfuck over what's the right thing to do.

Affirmation's Air Knights team. Finally a purpose. Something to smile about. :)

Haiyo...

Good Night

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Another New Year

Haiyo not posting enough. Just finished my English compre, still got another set of homework. And I'm going visiting tomorrow. MAYBE I should've done it over the weekend. MAYBE. Sneaky teachers...

Sometimes I wonder if everything I do is going to be wasted. The most common phrase this weekend seems to be "Oh Sec 4 already ah? O levels right? Good luck ah!" *Hands me ang pao*

*thinking to myself: I need all the luck I can get* If everything I do go down the drain, I don't know what I'll do. Cry? Scream? Commit myself to an eternity of silence? Slap Mr Quay? Hear too many horror stories already.

Wah stress.

But cannot be leh... I don't know lah. It's like, the last few days I just feel damn frustrated for no apparent reason. Just need to find someone to scold/punch/stab/kick/*insert violent action here* So yeah. But now also not supposed to be stress period yet. School's barely started...

I thought everything would be fine. Am I getting disappointed over nothing again? Need to find someone to blame for all the trouble I've caused, yet I know that hey, I need to look in the fucking mirror.

I don't want to be an old man filled with regret, waiting in a room for someone to wash ashore and bring me out of limbo.

And now it's everyone for themselves. I don't think I'll even be able to outline the book I wanna write. Got so many ideas in my head, but procrastinating and still haven't put it down.

Haiz, want win more money also cannot, cos no one to gamble with. Haha greedy much. It seems like everyone else so close with their relatives.. all I do is eat dinner with them. I hardly even get to see my extended family on my mother's side. All my cousins there are so old alreadyyy....

Tsk tsk

Good Night

Snowballing

Wah kao, so long haven't blog already. MUST be because of homework, not that I too lazy. Pfft, now Wen Bin interrupting me.

Haiya

Anyway, so early I feel like dying liao. I think Tuesdays are the worst. First of all, got Chinese remedial, either do Paper 1 or 2. I prefer Paper 2 lor, Paper 1 is seriously mind-killing. In the end today's Paper 1 I also never finish... then after that violin from 5.15 to 6.15. Siao eh, plus my violin teacher always scold me. Haiz, can't wait to finish exam to free up my time. Hope I get good result for Grade 8 also... After violin still got Aural from 7-8pm. Therefore, we can conclude that Tuesdays are totally screwed up. Already can feel the stress piling on.

And I think I give up Chem le. UHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... yeap. Join Tseng, problem solved. I seriously no hope for it le. I don't know why other people say AT very good. Maybe he really good, but I for one can't understand anything for nuts.

In other depressing news, we got damn little people who put first choice. I don't know lah, relatively it's not that little. But we've always relied on the fact that having a larger pool to choose from would be better. Can blame a lot of things lah, becuase honestly speaking, I think the hard-selling was quite effective. All we needed was to enforce it into their brains. But too bad, this year exhibition walkabout format, hardly anyone came to our stall. Plus, it was so frigging windy I couldn't fly the kite. So everything we said all wasted, forgotten. Haiya... *headbang*

Then now what, another retard come out make Singaporeans look like shit. Adelyn trend on Twitter, Aaron Tan video so many people see, Steven Lim joke of the decade, Ris Low don't know how speak English... now got what, some Amos Yee. Whatthefugg lah. Think he such a big shit. Diss this novel, that novel. Go write your own goddamn book lah, I see how well you can write. What shit, say "dumb mother" then show a picture of Taylor Swift. Dumbfuck. What's worse is that adults actually seem impressed by his supposed intellect and maturity. So bleeping out "sex" is mature lah. And complaining that Pride & Prejudice doesn't have any sex scenes. Bullshit, love story need sex scene is it? Bloody hell, someone needs to show that guy just how bloody stupid he is. And annoying.

Good Night