Dreams

And thus was Brom's fate to fail at everything except one.

A lot of things on my mind lately. People keep asking how's JC. And what am I supposed to tell them? Maybe it's not cos of JC, but I don't see a purpose in anything anymore. I wake up, I sleep. Everyday feels like a chore. That everyday I wish, and I dream. So I smile and tell them it's okay so far. That later it'll get tougher, but whatever. And I found myself dreaming again today, even though I told myself I wouldn't. Because when you just wish, but reality is completely different. And I just wanna say I get it. You tank the shit for other people, but who tanks the shit for you? The irony that the one person that can, now, is the exact same person that I can't. I wish that one day, it won't be too late. All I'm hoping for now is that everyone doesn't just fade away.

So we had PDS and FSD prelims yesterday. Really proud of the FSD people for doing as well as they did. It's really a good improvement from where we were a couple years ago. Though we lost to ACSI by 3 points. But even speaking from an unbiased from an unbiased viewpoint, I think our performance is nicer leh... I think it was our inspection that did us in. The opening and ripple line was really damn sui. Lol Javier kept going "OMG SO JIZZZZZ" like a siao. Ian took video of the "Iron Man" which was seriously damn cool when you watch it at 2x speed. Looking forward to the uploaded vids. Then again I also feel that it's really hard to change the mindset of people. Like for an established team, they automatically give a good impression alr, and all they have to do is live up to expectations to get good scores. Might not actually be the case lah, but it's just what I think. On the other hand, PDS. Sigh. Kinda disappointed in them, also considering we lost to ACSI Sea, even though we started PDS much earlier than them. Kudos to them for improving by leaps and bounds. Not to say our performance wssn't good, it sort of was. But deep inside I know - and I hope they know too - that that was not their true standard. Hopefully they learn from this and train even harder in the coming weeks. We really have a shot at Top 2 this time round.

Had to re-write the previous para cos it didn't get saved. Grrr

And I found out the kind of people that I absolutely loathe with a vengeance: attention seekers. Don't ask me why, I just really hate those kinds of people. So irritating. It's like, you want to be a douchebag or want to act cool, fine, just keep it to yourself. Ya lah, that kind of defeats the purpose of being an attention seeker, but in any case those people shouldn't be breathing our air. Oh well..

Good Night

Consistency

Might as well be half the world away, tell me how to compare? But carry on, it's been said, just carry on. Because everything has a chance, no matter how remote.

So nope, didn't get into ODAC. Accepted the fact. Was kinda bitter at first cos I didn't understand. But no point doing that, so I went to clear it up. Glad I did, cos now I get it. And maybe I do regret not putting in more effort, but I'll safely say that who I was during OLC was me, and not some wayang cock. But I found out that I wasn't being consistent during the period, but what's done is done. Everybody makes mistakes innit? And just what Juliana said "The paper doesn't change anything. Moving on~~" I think she's really much wiser than she appears. So grats to Brian, Julia, Grace, Natasha, Buff Bin and Cheng Wei. Might not see this, but all the best.

How funny it is, in fact, that I told the PDS team exactly the same thing yesterday night. Maybe I knew it all along. Had a good talk to them too, but I guess they probably couldn't absorb it. Just hope that they don't wake up one day filled with that agonising regret of that "maybe".  Hope we do well during prelims.

And sometimes when you sit down and realise all your past mistakes. Amf sometimes you wish that you could have done something better. But you don't really know that this, the mistakes, the tears, the regret, are what made you who you are. And for me, I wouldn't change myself for anything.

So to the past, present, and future

Thanks for the memories

Good Night

OLC2013

Where I spend my one term in..

Was meaning to post this yesterday but I couldn't, plus sleepy. So I'll try posting the stuff up now.

Day 1

So we had to assemble in the parade square first according to our groups and such. Sorted out all the logistics and bags first before we started with PT and stuff. So there was this damn weird game we had outside the theatre. There was this sort of "minefield" and we had to figure out how to get everyone across in like 10 tries, if not will tio punishment. (Later found out that we would kena either way but whatever LOL). Well we did fail in the end so our punishment was this thing called Bags Over Head. So basically we had to hold our bags over our head and run to a point and back. At first it was okay, but we had to do it a few times so by that time our arms were all burning. It was damn irritating though, cos the bags would keep sliding here and there and you'd have to waste more energy stabilising it. After that we had night PT which was "9 Levels of Hell". The first level was lunges across the soccer field and back. Had a few other stations like alligator pushups (think that's what its called), followed by more pumpings and then we had to do cumulative exercises. So like the whole group had to do a few thousand pushups, squats, dips etc. collectively. No time to complete all 9 stations so we just went to set up the tents in the grass patch. Apparently one sad case group broke the tent poles -_- YA BUT THE TENTS UGH. All the tents were 6-8man tents MAX. Somehow we squeezed ELEVEN FUDGING PEOPLE into one, bags and all. But NO ONE HAD SHOWERED before that so the whole bloody tent stank to kingdom come and was like some damn sauna. I suay suay sleep in the center, become some foot rest for the other 10 guys. Was even seriously contemplating sleeping in the toilet but scared the GIs scold. Ended up sleeping at around 2 plus, uncomfortably so.

Day 2

So this was the day of our Urban Ex. Woke up around 5.15 to eat breakfast and get back our flag (which was taken the previous day. Had to do some punishments in return). So before the Ex we had this thing where everyone would stay in a stance like ma bu or pumping position, with our field packs, while 2 people went to find a clue around the school. The funny thing about my group is that most of us are damn on and gung ho but cannot think AT ALL LOL. Like when the first 2 pair came back without clue, the next pair immediately chiong off without asking the previous pair where they searched alr *facepalm* We ended up being the last group to finish HAHAHA. So then we started our Urban Ex, and our first station was at Katong Park, somewhere along the lines of 5-7km away. At first we tried jogging but cmi so ended brisk walking like crazy. The station there was the most hiong. There was this pebble path which we had to complete the station on. First was elephant walk, then duck walk, then frog jumps, all with our bags on. After that we had to sprint back to the start, whole stretch about 20,30m. My feet felt like it had bruises everysinglewhere but the funny thing was that Grace kept shouting her encouragement "COME ON GUYS PEOPLE DO THIS FOR MASSAGE!!!" LOL. There were girls from other groups crying after that but my group was boss (Y). Next stop was Singapore Indoor Stadium, which was pretty far away too. The station there was to do pumping sideways while going up this flight of stairs. The actual thing was pretty ok even considering the number steps only thing was at the point it was BLAZING HOT so your hands were like frying on the steps. Damn good after that cos we had a reward of Green Tea I think. Never appreciated soft drinks so much in my life. After that we used our transport card to go to Fort Canning. Down there we had to do some commando crawl for about 80m upslope. Our GI was damn amused at us stopping, cheering, then carrying on with the crawl instead of cheering and crawling at the same time lmao. We had to do a hornet attack drill (Hornet attackkkk!!!!) and Wei Xuan lost the flag AGAIN T.T But whatever there wasn't anymore time so we went to kallang for lunch and stuff. Supposed to have kayaking also but there was a Cat 1. This was the FUNNIEST part of the camp cos it was a whiteout and we saw our buses outside the shelter. So the GIs told us to just chiong to the bus.

GI 1: Sure the buses are there ah!!
GI 2: YA SURE JUST GO
GI 3: OK 1!2!3!

AND WE ALL RAN. So we ran like quite a bit before we realised THE BUSES WERE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. We were all soaked alr and the GIs were going "YOU SAID THE BUS WAS HERE" "WHERE THE FUCK IS IT" "SHIT I THOUGHT YOU CONFIRM ONE WTF" then "ALL GO BACKKKK!!!!!" HAHAHAHAHA SO WE CHIONGED BACK. Ironic thing was everyone wanted kayaking partly cos we wanted a "bath" and were disappointed when it was cancelled, but we got one anyway :D AND THE FUNNIEST THING WAS when the buses actually came IT STOPPED RAINING. Scumbag weather. We went to the jetty and were allowed to have dinner around that area. Julia was damn funny she mentioned something like the dinner being our Last Supper and Brian couldn't stop laughing. OH before we left for Ubin we had to fill our jerry cans at the toilets downstairs. Me and Greg were damn shagged so we waited for the lift and the GI saw us and went "EH ODAC TAKE LIFT AH" and I replied them "NO GI! JUST TESTING THE LIFT MAKE SURE IT WORKS" *run upstairs* ROFL. When we got to Ubin we just walked to the stop for our Night Walk. Night Walk was kinda cool though I thought the plants were damn creepy ugh. Finally was our SOLO NIGHT WOOOO. I think I managed to set up the basha quite quickly but I took like FOREVER to find a spot. OHOHOH AND there was this wild boar near my tent damn cool! Juliana heard it cos it ran past her basha then to mine and she was quite amused by it. Couldn't sleep properly cos of the mosquitoes which were FREAKING HUMONGOUS bzz bzzz..

Day 3

Next morning woke up and something damn retarded happened. We were missing Zachary so Julia and I went to find him. We found this setup and we thought was his but he wasn't there so we were freaking out cos we were gonna be late. Suddenly he appeared somewhere along the road further away saying he just woke up HAHAHAHA. And omg cos we had to change shirts but there wasn't time so the girls literally told us to look away and THEY CHANGED AT THE ROADSIDE WTF. Ubin Ex was kinda similar in procedure to Urban Ex but I think we really managed to push ourselves and improve a lot during it :) Field cooking was kinda mehh (and our judges said the food tasted+look like shit but we were so hungry so we didn't care, even though it was damn shiok LOL). Done already we packed up and departed back to the mainland. The last hiong part of OLC was VJCTORY RUN. The bus dropped us off about 7km away from school along ECP. We had to run back with all our shit, stopped by Bedok Jetty and did lunges till about halfway across it too :P Finally back in school and all of us were damn relieved. Pioneering actually went pretty well cos the leaders were damn organised with manpower and such. Last thing was the campfire YEAHHHHH. All the groups performances were damn retarded. But yeah that was about it for OLC! ^^

FIELD PACK!!!!!!!

TL;DR OLC was fucking awesome even with all the hiong shit cos my group really bonded so I would do it all over again.

I'm really damn agonised that so many us won't be getting in but I hope they can stretch more seeing as so little people dropped out this year. Really hope I get in!

So today we had a JTS Dinner at Sakura which totalled up to be $42 for each of our group ppl. It was really damn fun and we talked about lotsa shit, listening to all the stories from the GIs and laughing at all our full-retard moves during OLC. Ah well, tomorrow's the announcement. Good luck to everyone!

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while~

Cheers to an awesome team!
TYPHOON OLC 2013

Good Night

T.B.Code

I was just thinking back on Primary 6 days when Ms Lee was my English teacher, and how she'd teach us entire paragraphs to describe emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, and Guilt.

Goddamn hypocrite now

Was intending to post this yesterday but I slept a bit earlier cos I was quite tired. So yesterday was supposed to be full day BAWC, but it was damn retarded. Morning we continued where we stopped on Friday and stuff, like the practicals and simming also. This time Ying Wei came down with Chiam, so together with Delvin they were the ones handling practical flying for me, kudos to them :) Chee was like damn stoned out the whole day so he literally just slept around on the chairs. When we needed to go for break I was shouting "CHEEEEE" in his ear and HE DIDN'T EVEN STIR OMG. I shake him damn violently then he blur blur wake up LOL I swear he reminds me of a teddy bear. We streamed them again before lunch and with the exception of some I think the rest could fly okay. But somehow during that time they crashed a plane onto the flying fox tower (Reminding me of AAWC sighs) which happened to be the buddy corded Cessna. No idea how that happened but yeah. Since we only had the solo plane left I let the cadets use that one but STUPIAK me tried to test fly it again without checking and I crashed the bloody plane. The motor came out and just so happened that the DC was there so he told everyone to just early dismiss. At first I really wanted to continue for the sake of the those who hadn't flown yet, but thought after a while really no point without buddy cord cos sooner or later they'd crash the plane until gg. So we sent everyone home and just lepak-ed in the aero center for a while. Tried some stupid shit on the sim before the DC said Sgt Jeremiah was waiting for us (which turns out he wasn't). So we went out but ended up watching  the PDS peeps for a while. This split district format is kinda weird cos the atmosphere sucks but oh well maybe the finals will be better. I remember seeing Aida in the canteen too during FSD but she was talking to her friends so I didn't bother. Met Ameer and Jun Yu during PDS also! Both their schools did quite well I think, Ameer was performing also. Saw some other AIs from SA and derped around a bit before we actually booked out. 

After that we decided to go Naked Fish and stone around a bit cos no one really felt like going home. Chee had to go work ( in his half-conscious state :P ) so was left with Jallene, Mira, Zhan Jiang and me. The heck sia everytime I do something all 3 make fun at me T.T Stoned there until about 5plus before we left, but Naked Fish was damn nice cos even though we didn't order anything they treated us lime juice! ^^ Had to go church later evening and at first we planned dinner but ZJ went home and Mira had her bro's bday. Went to church afterwards for practise, about it. 

Had a good talk, something I miss. I remember Sec 3 when everyone shared everything, but now... everyone just retreats in/don't care/don't have time. Reminisced on last time, when everything was simpler. When everything was easy and uncomplicated. I miss that. I keep thinking maybe I could have expressed it better, and now I wish I could have done something to remember more. But well... friendships are hard to come by, and I guess it's the little things like this that really count, to me at least :)

From this day to the ending of the world

But we in it shall be remembered

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he today that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother

Good Night

Enlightenment

The moment I saw it I was like WTF then laughed a bit to myself LOL. Don't worry I haven't sot yet. Still approaching terminal velocity.

Speaking of such stuff, I think Physics now is damn cool! Plus the teachers are all not bad also so yeah. Even the lectures I didn't sleep, which is saying something. And I actually understand stuff woohoo! Maths is just as bleh as usual, dunno why up till now still doing revision. Liddat then have to chiong the actual curriculum later on right? Lit today was damn good also. Mr Teo is a supersuper good teacher. Although come to think of it I totally forgot about his homework ._. oh well there's cross country tomorrow. But GP now is not that interesting leh, I think cos of the teacher >< Sian I miss all the Cat High teachers. MR QUAY FOREVER. Like today Ernest, Heer Tern and me ended up talking about CHS again. Then we talk talk talk like how even though the system isn't the best (which personally I'm on the fence about) but it's the people that make it so awesome. Today was kinda funny also cos Hazel saw Ernest doodling and was like damn creeped out about it. Honestly though I don't get why she was creeped out but whatever, maybe I'm used to his doodles alr LOL.

Zomg I actually had more stuff to talk about but now like forget/can't be bothered.

Oh yeah! I signed up for ODAC anyways. But the selection really is quite grueling, very UG-ish. Though I believe them when they say it's just for this moment (hopefully lol). Now got a lot of stuff quite lehchey like proposals and getting the logistics ourselves :P We had our preparation day yesterday and turns out a lot of the stuff is I learn before already. Then my group people also damn on I can't do shit also T.T My only hope is that they pull out or something. Quite asshole move lurh but yeah.. Unless during the camp the on ppl no more energy, hopefully then I can catch the instructors' notice.

And and and BAWC tmr! Finally can fly again booyeah!

Just want everyone's best interests.

Good Night

Revisiting ("old") songs. Might do this every other post or so.