Bolts

WE'VE FOUND OURSELVES A HOME

Sigh. Why can't everything just all go well for once. When I feel happy about something then something else cocks up. And if I feel happy about something else then something will cock up. Why like that :/ Haish

I guess school been slowly getting better. Decided not be such a rock and actually talk to people. Even if it's complete bullshit LOL. Starting to realise how absolutely WEIRD my class is. Especially Ryan wtf. Still remember first few days of school he damn quiet always stick to Wei Xuan. Suddenly ah, he can spout so much nonsense during classes hahahaha. And Shirlene is like the mother of randomness man. Was queuing up for food and scrolling through 9gag and stuff. Saw this funny pic so I was chuckling to myself and OUT OF NOWHERE she's beside me asking "WHY YOU LAUGHING AT YOUR PHONE". LOLWUT. Lit lesson was completely retarded today (as usual, cos the timing sucks) and everyone was just DRAWING the most random things on the whiteboard. I think after a while even Ms Ho gave up so she just started drawing these owls on the whiteboard lololol. Speaking of lit, recalled Tues' lesson with Ms Chia being damn weird. Cos we were all joking about how Yi Hao hates life (Ok he doesn't but it comes close) and she suddenly got damn worked up! Like she started rambling on and oh about Godknowswhat. Something along the lines of maybe we just misjudged Yi Hao and stuff. After lesson all of us were just like "Dafaq?" Oh wells. Lit tmr is Waterland in the treehouse :D 

Climbing's getting more fun, even if it is kinda tiring. And finding out everyone's a bunch of misfits as well hehehe. Yesterday on the train Joey was like "Whoah that woman's boobs damn big like table" WTF. Then Jovan went to act like he was eating something off his chest. DAFAQ. He still can ask  me since when I so guailan de LOL. One of those few trainings without a flapper YAY ME but I couldn't complete a single route  yesterday FML >< Not even the girls route, though by then I was already just like "fuckit" hahahaha. 

If only things in school got better together with things outside.

I guess you could say that after awhile you realise that everyone's screwed up in one way or another and we're all in the same fucked up boat. Feel so helpless cos I can't do shit. Doesn't help that I can't get that incident out of my mind, even though it's practically nothing. Although I understood the significance behind it, and I somehow get the feeling that someone made the link too. Have to start thinking rationally all the time instead of during certain times. Cos somehow the similarity of what happened is quite scary. 

Can't do this fail at that. Weakling.  

Suddenly can't remember all the things I wanted to put into words. Ah well, a post for another day. 

Good Night. 

[Remembering loving her songs all those years ago. Might actually consider going for the concert]

Would angels sing with lollipops

Would dinosaurs cry? 

Legacy

So we had POP on Wednesday, or rather, the Part Ds POP. My part. The part I took for a year. The responsibility of teaching them to lead. And yet on Wednesday I felt an immeasurable sense of pride. And gosh, all the feels the night before. I guess everything just really reminded me of our own POP that year ago :') Sad, this year a lot of people couldn't make it for the POP :/ Haish, going separate ways... >< But was kinda lolling at the fact that got many female spectators for the Part Ds. All of them just standing at the sides then we went around asking them "Eh you whose one ah?" LOL. Hehehe imagined asking all the female spectators to gather then ask all the Part Ds to claim them :'D "Any item not claimed within 5 working days shall be donated to charity" Kekekekeke. YA so the actual parade was kinda messed up as well, maybe cos not enough practices plus all the new stuff. Proud to see the design of the NCO flag too. Glad I could leave behind something permanent for the unit :) After the POP they didn't throw the seniors though! Haiz, hope this tradition doesn't die out. Photo taking bla bla then had dinner with Saving Private Zhi Ming (Ironically without ZM), Heer Tern and 2 senior-senior-seniors Marcus and Justinian.

POP chalet was freaking retarded lol. I could only go after climbing trg so we reached there quite late as we had to buy some stuff as well. Reached the chalet and most of them were at the beach so we just ate some of the leftovers plus what Choon Hong and Osel were BBQ-ing also. Then went to find them at the beach. LOL Zhe Ming is damn siao one! He was freaking shouting at every single bloody thing. Then he go and sabo Zhi Ming and me so we both kena buried under the sand. Even Sir Kuah also not spared wtf. So yeah, kinda derped around a bit more before going back to the chalet. Played on a few laptops through the night.

I guess this paragraph would be dedicated to my part. After one year it feels like all of them are grown-up to me already. I was never a "parent" but I guess deep down there was that sense I guess, of having to nurture them. And though they might have given me a headache many times over, I have absolutely no regrets. Everything happens for a reason, innit? :) I remember being a bit sore about no getting what I really wanted, but I guess it turned out for the best. Taking them made me learn so much more about myself as well. And as such, I'm really proud to have had the opportunity to be their UDI. I will always remember that green board they scribbled on for my birthday back then, and the awesome pair of speakers that I use up to this day. The Man U tee and soccer ball they gave for my POP, and Jordan's model airplane :') All in all, it's that sense of emptiness all over again, but this time felt from the new seniors. But hey, life moves on, and I'm sure they will move on too. Together :)

CHSNCCAIR
PRIMUS INTERPARES

(Will post the video another day)

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Sigh sigh sigh

I don't understand. I've never been like that for the longest time, but it showed itself today. Fuckkkk. Why let something like this be so detrimental wtf. What's more is I definitely did not have this is consequence in mind. GRRRRR. I'm not gonna lose anyone to this kinda thing. But someone tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do. When I saw I was just so... UGH. Like I understood, but just that. Yeah. Welp.

Just as things were starting to look up. Oh well.

Good Night

Second

Had this in my backlog for a while, posting it today.

Sometimes I wonder if it's just another on the screen lol. I don't get it lah. I know already, yet still degrade myself to that level. Can never measure up, yet hope. And I realise exactly. Keep telling everyone things, maybe I should listen to myself sometimes. Suck thumbbbbb. Can't expect too much also right :P Sometimes I think maybe you understand it yourself and that it's getting to your head. But then again I don't really believe that's the case. Because then I recall why kena in the first place. I guess some people are just built a certain way. So yeah.. but it's damn irritating! Like I go in, check, so many times alr. Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't know. YA when I don't know, then keep having this mini debate in my head LOL. Even though I tell myself to stop acting like some retard because I understand alr yet still force myself. Siannnnnnnn. I need to freaking figure out what I want to do now. One moment ballstothewall, next moment reconsider the consequences. Don't want to be the third one shot in the foot. Bam, ouchhhhhh. 

Gosh I just realised how I totally made no sense LOL

And you, I really dont know what happened. You were the best of us. And now. It scares me to think that even back then those years ago, he might've been right about you. At the time I just dismissed it, but now. How. I understand what happened, just not why. It wasn't because of that, I know for sure. Or maybe everything's just getting into your head too. The worst part is that I can't even find an excuse. Don't complain if you brought it upon yourself.

Typing this on my phone and there's this cute grandma sitting beside. Apparently she taught A Maths up to Year 6? Hahaha then she telling me how got uni people come to observe her and ask her to go train teachers in Malaysia. But she was all like "Nuh uh I ain't yo bitch". LOL ok she just told them she wanted to retire instead. Then she said "Concentrate on what you are doing now, don't bother too much with daily life. You will enjoy later". And somehow I got this feeling the big guy up there was trying to tell me something :)

Maybe one day I'll stop trying to find stupid reasons. But for now, I'll just wait till it's chill enough ^^

Oh shit. If only i could take this.

Good Night 

And to learn without faith the sky isn't as blue

Calm

Guess I missed out on the party

So yesterday we had our Feeling Fab day. Originally thought it was going to be quite waste time, but I guess it turned out kinda okay. Cos my class chose the Forest Adventure thing at Bedok Reservoir there, which was some basically a bunch of High Elements stuff all in one big course. At first thought like "Been there done that" but it turns out there were quite a few stations which I'd never done before. Okay lah, a few did before, but there were some which were quite cool! TARZAN SWINGGGG. Oh especially the second one lol! The freefall feeling that time damn shiok. Got that ballsdrop feeling LOL. Ya and the zipline was damn fun! Cos most of the zipline is over water so its just like can sit there enjoy view and see the water rushing past your feet ^^ LOL and the landings are the best parts :'D Cos its like this sandpit, so if you dont land facing the correct the direction your ass will just drag along the sand for like 4-5m, which happened to me like TWICE. Gosh i suck. Haha then after most of finished we played cards while waiting for the other group to finish (Cos our class some people went to another group). LOL @weixuan and ryan being in the second group but chionging through just so they could catch up with our class in the first group. YA then we had 2 packs of cards, so we transformed like one table into like some casino table, but both groups just played daidi in the end :P OH but damn funny, Yi Lin won 3 times in a row cos her cards damn good. Got once she had ALL THE 2s but never say anything then when she won she was like super happy LOL everyone else was just like WTF. The class went out for lunch later but I had to pass up my parade claims and stuff so couldn't join them. Surprisingly, one of the first times I felt a bit bad i couldn't join them for a meal. Guess I'm warming up a bit, hopefully. But they went to eat at Swensen's so i was like "fk that shit ppl no $$" anyway T.T

Me and Ernest went back to Cat High first cos I needed to sign my parade claims first and Ernest had choir shit. BURDEN Ze Bin forgot to pass me his claims in the morning so I had to go meet him first hahahaha. Lunched at the coffeeshop (God I miss that place. Still rmb always eating there before Mr Jason's tuition last time LOL wonder how he's doing now). Then went back and had to derp around cos Sir Kuah was still having lessons. Met Jallene at the MRT later cos she was helping the rest pass their parade claims too LOL she was candy crush-ing all the way (sorry!). YA so on the way to HQ (almost typed Langkawi) we met CHEEEEEEEEEE. YA he just came back from langkawi so I asked him how it was then he was complaining about how they had to eat fast food there LOL. So we passed our shit up at HQ but Zb's form and mine got freaking rejected cos wrong format. Whatevarrrrr, redo lor. Decided to stone abit in HQ cos it's like a freaking time bubble. HAISHHHHH  :SCHOOL:

Hao ba, I guess that's about it. Was initially a bit ranty, but I guess that's a paragraph for another post :) Just happy that I'm, well... content at this moment.

Good Night

[ Was listening to a Youtube mix and loved this song :) ]

The other half I'm only trying

Box

It's been a shitty week for everyone the last few days I guess, with the exception of PDS Finals. But even then, was quite frustrating also. Somehow everything conspired in the last few days to screw up, and a lot of things that could go wrong went wrong like some freaking Pandora's Box.

So last Saturday was the PDS Finals. I don't really have much to say actually. Met Roocas and Jal at the MRT [Third wheel (again)] and we took the bus in. When we reached there the inspection was finishing up lor, so nothing much. We more or less derped around at the basketball court while the PDS team practised. At first they were in quite a joker mood and we needed them to be more serious. Then they became super nervous as their turn started approaching so we had to give them some talk and stuff :P DON'T GO ON TILT. First time seeing Roy's solo also which was... sex LOL. When it was around the time for the second group to perform we let them go and watch to give them some motivation to perform better. All the time we kept trying to remind them to not drop rifles cos nearly every school was doing so. Then the retarded part came when YTSS performed. Really sia, their prelim is scam people de (Sort of). They still deproved quite a bit from previous years. But their performance this time round was just flat out mad. It's like, your performance already not bad, still want put in the screwed up parts. Dance here dance there wtf, bringing FSD performance to a PDS final. Gotta admit the extreme toss was impressive, but it nonetheless has nothing much in common with PDS itself. You might as well throw a heavy stick across the parade square. Don't know if you'll get what I mean. Just saying the move was nice but definitely not representative of PDS. And Javier got balls lol, we dare him sout "FSD!!" he really shout at the end wtf. I really hope PDS doesn't go down the road of FSD dancing :/ sigh. BUT ANW, when our turn came up we tried to pump them up (GONG JIAO) and then ran back to spectate. During their whole performance I was like "Please don't drop please don't drop" especially at the J-Hook part. But after they proved my fears unfounded time and again I kept going "WAH SEX" cos it was really damn... sexy LOL (Got me so HIGH and then she dropped me). Bam, sex bomb, 2nd place WOOHOO. Damn proud of the team also cos I knew how haunting it was for them this time round, with more pressure after what happened last year. But the Part Ds of this year really have the makings of champions. Picking themselves up and gritting their teeth to do even better the next time round. And for that *salute*. Celebrated after that in school, but had to leave early to be in church cos of Easter Vigil T.T

Sigh, I told myself to just go balls to the wall that day. To not give a shit and just BE normal. Because I guess sometimes the most frustrating thing is to ACT normal even though it's crap. But in the end all I did was just put on another show. I've never broken it before and I sure as hell wasn't going to attempt to that day. Haish, trying to balance interests. Sort of, we weren't the only ones playing second fiddle that day. I don't understand what to do already :P Always a division below. Should be happy with the current state :P  Siannnnn. Doesn't help that I don't try anything first. Now just finding pathetic excuses for myself.

Sua

Good Night

Never fails to put a smile on my face :) 

Apt

Someday 

Ooh, I wish you'd want me to stay