Tilting

Had a really bad series of runs in our ranked 5s team lately. Manfred's been playing pretty off the last few games, and Ke Shang never seems to carry. Jian Hui does his job, but it seems like David's been pretty off lately also for some reason. I'm not doing too well either, except for my Zyra, but I'm pretty sick of playing her already, even with the new skin. My Thresh has been super rusty and my Lulu just doesn't synergise with David at this level. Might start picking up Blitz soon, and use more Zyra. We almost made it past promos, but for some reason we kept getting Plat/Diamond players on the other team all the time. Hope our mmr goes down a bit more. I really want this team to succeed, cos I honestly believe that we're pretty good. Maybe we need to work on our laning phase more. Guess I've been missing out quite a bit on Solo Queue practice, which is why I'm kinda tilting on my Thresh and Lulu too, so I may go do more Solo Queue soon :P Oh well, we'll see tomorrow. On a side note, tried 3v3 in Starcraft today and it was pretty fun lol. Wasn't really much of a challenge for some reason. There was like 1 guy who knew his stuff and the other 2 were like... doing I don't know what lol. May just do more of these 3v3s or 4v4s when available.

So last Wednesday and Thursday we had Victorian Affair yayyy :D Wednesday morning was Colour Affair which was SO FUNNNNNN JAAAAA. So we like, went to school and just had this small briefing in the morning in the PT. After that we went to start painting the LT doors alr :D Our doors were the 2nd floor LT1 doors, outside the toilet there. The design for the left one was Captain America and the right side one was Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can; spins a web, any size, catches thieves just like flies LOOK OUTTTTTT here comes Spiderman! Ok enough spazzing. I did the Spiderman door, and the whole thing was pretty amusing though. Cos all the girls did the Captain America door and the guys were doing the Spiderman door, plus Alicia. Then a girl from some other class came over and asked why the guys and girls were split lol. And we decided to accept Alicia as a member of the male species after she helped us with the Spiderman door hahaha. Shit man it was damn messy sia we kept getting paint over ourselves. Oh and Ernest was just standing by the side mostly fulfilling his role as artistic director LOL. Both doors turned out really cool, and fit the theme damn well. The Capt A door was damn neat and tidy, which totally reflects his characted. And the Spiderman door was made to look a bit like the graffiti of the Spiderman logo you always see in the movies. That, and the red paint drips by Heer Tern, gave it a super cool dark feel. After that we went to have lunch. Didn't feel like going to watch the Gladiator thing, so Nich Ernest Heer Tern and I went around the classrooms to totally judge their paintings XD We went to extra a bit and watch the Gladiator challenge thing but it was super hot and kinda sian so we just went home after that :P

Thursday was the Outdoor Affair thing which was very meh overall. Didn't actually feel like going but I though hey, not going to do anything better with my morning. Was late cos I totally forgot about the morning jam. Had to wait like 5 trains before I could board one. So we all assembled outside the Dhoby Ghaut MRT and gave us like crayons to draw shit on ourselves. I drew a pretty fail Avatar arrow down Ernest's arm, but i guess it wasn't THAT bad haha sorry Ernest. SOOO... we just went through the stations, which I slacked for mostly. When we came to Sarah's station I just stared at her and she was like "Don't judge me" (too late though i already was). That station was RETARDEDDDDD. Yi Hao kena the one where he had to eat a banana and he just downed it in like THREE BITES WTFUUUU?!?!? Ryan and Wei Xuan were hilarious as usual, tying the banana to their waist and dragging it to shove a ball into the circle LOL. Yi Lin was the one juggling the plastic bags and she freaking kept walking backwards until she was almost on the road wtf that girl *facepalm* The best was CRYSTAL AND SHIRLENE HAHAHA biting off the Pockey biscuit and having to drop it into Sharlyn's mouth, and she was super creeped out ahahahaa. The next thing of note was probably the one where we were at the Promontory and we had to go to Marina Square after that. No problem, we walked about 30mins through MBS which was pretty nice. Until the part where the stationed got cancelled and no one knew until we were there. So the GM tells us to go to Citylink. Sure, no problem. We get there, no GM at all. Won-der-fucking-full. After that, we take about another 20+ mins just to go to the Lawn@Marina, which was like freaking across the road from the station at the Promontory. Much organising, such communincations, very waste time. We actually get to the Lawn early, so we have some time to eat dinner and change, and just kinda lepak while waiting for the concert to start. So the concert starts off pretty awkwardly, but it progresses really well after that. Oh and the SC group was still fucking terrible though. The fun part came when Haziq was performing and all the climbers just went full retard over him and freaking carrying him off stage LOLOLOL. I was shouting random shit like HAZIQ HAVE MY BABIES WHY YOU SO SEXAYE. Nice way to end the whole thing with Firefight and who else but Hubert on the guitar? So I was shouting SIGN MY CHEST HUBERT and he squeezed my chest. Right. Ended off the whole thing with Chan Poh Meng singing :'D and mass dance, which Jia Zhi, Chen Yi, Matthias and I didn't wanna do so we left :P Jia Zhi and I bought some drinks before going to lepak and wait for the other climbers, and we were all damn scared some teacher would see us drinking (To be fair mine was only 5%). When the rest came we all like walked around Singapore River and just had random shenanigans laughing at Jia Zhi, who Chen Yi kept saying was drunk. Obviously NOT, he's always like that retarded please. Jovan escorted Chen Yi home, so left Jas, Jia Zhi, Matthias and Marcus I went to Plaza Sing macs to have some supper and they played Monopoly Deal before we went home. At that point, I guess I found a new place to call home:) A really great way to end the year, made even better by wonderful people I met through it.

Because a girl like you's impossible to find

I shall not sigh sigh tonight. Although I find it kind of funny how Francine, Edwin and I all ended up in the same situation, but for some different reasons. Looking forward to meeting up with them again

Good Night

Sing it for the people like us

The people like us

Glass

Y

So we had OP on Thursday. Something funny the day before was that I was the only one who had OP on Thursday and went for training on Wednesday :P Like I know Jas and Jovan had OP on Thursday also and they didn't come but I was just like: aiya not as if I'd do anything better with my time. LOL. After missing so many Friday trainings already, got pretty weak after a while. Had some trouble with the routes, but overall it was kinda okay lah I guess. Managed to get the dymo move after Nich talked to us about how we should do it. But was quite inconsistent with it so I think it was actually tyco hahahaha. Jovan tried that route today and he managed to get it :P Training today was suuuuper hiong omg. Not the training itself but the PT after that was whatttttt. Like it was super core everything wtf. Couldn't feel my abdomen after all the shit. Oh and each of us got a resistance band! It's damn cool and used for training to back muscles and stuff. Then MATTHIAS HAHAHA. Cos the resistance band is made out of rubber latex right, when we opened them first thing he said was "They smell like balloons" LOLOLOL. So that's it for trainings and stuff.

B

OKAY ACTUAL OP. Came to school much earlier in the morning so that we could sort out any last minute stuff and maybe practise a bit. Qi Min was ALREADY freaking out as usual. Shirlene a bit a bit. Ryan, Heer Tern and I were just chilling hahaha. Oh and Ryan's script was so memorable like almost everyone could remember the first part. "15%? 20%? 25%? Truth be told, household recycling rates are a HUMILIATING 13%, and that is a cause for concern." LOL. Crystal and Wei Xuan just went around saying that, and Ernest joined in also. Got a really nice surprise in that XIANG BIN was in the same classroom as me. Not only that, but MS HO was my assessor AWWW YISSSSS. Felt MUCH more at ease after that but it was still pretty scary to think about. During the break before our actual presentation Heer Tern and I just memorised out like random quotes from V for Vendetta hahahaha. VOILA! IN VIEW, A HUMBLE VAUDEVILLAIN VETERAN. When it came to our turn I guess we just "fuck it yoloswag"-ed that shit and did pretty well :) The Q&A had some hiccups but overall went quite nicely also. Lol when the teacher first gave me my question I asked for some time to think. Then he thought I asked for a repeat so he started saying the question again and all I could do was give the "wtf?" look hahaha. Took some retarded photos after that, but I'm just glad that PW's over. Now on to the serious stuff alr :/

W

Been in sort of a daze lately. I freaking forgot so much stuff just today lol. I knew though, what I was getting into. I guess I just wasn't prepared enough for how. I don't even know how to describe it lol. Everything just seems damn... blurry? And right now it feels like I'm holding this blob of glass and there's cracks appearing everywhere and you try to tape them up when they appear but they're appearing too fast and before you know it you're holding a bunch of shards. Holding remains. Holding the pieces. And it sucks cos you can't move anything without them stabbing into your fucking hands. Thing about bottling it up, the bottle cap tends to become a little rusty after a while. The funny thing is that this like some fucking comedy except there is no happy ending, it's real, damn, life. The pieces were all lined up I just never realised I could pull the trigger and now. Now everything's a "what if" and we all know how useless those are. The bullet's been shot by another and all you can do is watch it slice through the air. Amusing though how like sometimes it sinks in and sometimes it doesn't. And when I do realise the full extent of the truth it's like someone just kicked my knees in. But maybe I've come to accept it. And hey, I've dealt with so much disappointment already, what's one more eh. Time to pick myself from this. And move on.

Me

Good Night

Heard this during training today

I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

Everything

I need to get this out and type something before I go mad. It's getting worse and worse wtf I thought it would get BETTER. I thought I thought goddamn wrong about this whole thing. It just feels like there wasn't an end. It wasn't a conclusion. But it was supposed to be, in a sense. No finality. No change, just a revelation. And this is what someone told me long ago. That yeah it hurts like a bitch but you take that shit and move the fuck on. Maybe I just need to wait for it to clear out first. Not thinking properly for a lot of things now. Or maybe I just need some sense of normalcy now. Because this isn't normal it feels so goddamn tense I swear. I need to clear this, and listen to someone who knows their shit. Everything is fucking swirling now I really don't know I don't know already. I feel like banging my head over and over against something lol. I'll just go talk to the Da Jie boss tomorrow or something and find out what the heck is going on. I hope I reach the day when I can not care as much but right now I simply can't.

Good Night

So wake me up when it's all over

When I'm wiser and I'm older 

Understanding

Hey there old friend, sorry I haven't posted in a while. Need to dust you off more often before I forget you hahaha.

So last week we had Annual Camp plus Air Comp and stuff. Annual Camp first.

It started on Friday afternoon but I only went down in the evening. Can't remember why though, probably PW or something. Funny thing was that Zhi Ming keep asking me come, in the end he was the latest there. Reached around 6 then called him and he JUST WOKE UP LOL. More or less derped around the 2 classrooms they were having lectures in. Kinda sad to see the state of the unit. There was this guys sitting on a chair and taking notes using a table while everyome else was on the floor. The excuse being he had leg cramps. Since 3pm. To 6pm. Not sure whether to blame his idiocy or the NCOs' imcompetence or the goddamn parents. Haish. Xiang Bin came around dinner time so we went to the market there to eat. Zhi Ming met us there later then we went back to school afterwards. They still had lectures so we sat in. Bloody hell man that Joshua teaching aircraft recognition still blur also. While on the slide for the G550 still can ask me the "clarify" the Early Airborne Warning Aircraft used by RSAF lolwut. So yeah, that happened. Watched Zhi Ming play some DOTA before I left for home. Saturday evening, went to the market again for dinner. They were having tests so nothing much. When they went down for supper we practiced abit of flag drills, cos Zhi Ming and Ze Bin were applying for COC POP Ensigns. Did some retarded shit and PDS for a bit also hahaha. Debriefed the NCOs after that, and talked quite a bit with them about the unit. Sigh, actually a lot of the problems is cos of the retarded CCA HOD. Fucking biased and no idea what he's doing. Because of him a lot of the placements for CCA screwed up, and coupled with the IP system, no one has any real incentive to turn up for training. Oh well. Watched White House Down that night till about 2plus. Damn funny cos Ze Bin was like "Eh stay up the whole night la" then land up Xiang Bin and I were the sole survivors. Went for a quick bunk check before we went to sleep. Woke up the next morning to take PT. Wah honestly sia, their physical standard after a year can die one. The sec 1s cant even do 10 standard holy shiet. Went home to get ready for church around 7plus. Overall, kind of okay camp I guess. Could have been worse, but it was definitely not up to standards. Sigh, seems like the unit is dying. And to be honest, I'm wiping my hands clean of this soon already.

Moving on to Air Comp. Stayed in the previous night. Went in quite late cos I went to watch Vincent  Gabriel and Sarah climb for National team selections. (Vince and Sarah got in haha super happy and proud of them). Had a super retarded time smuggling in Zhi Ming's laptop lol, but no one cared. Just sorted out most of the logistics stuff before we went to sleep. So the next day morning went quite well luh I guess. Met the external judge who was helping me (didn't really like him but he was okay la). Everything was going smoothly - we were ahead of schedule - until the DCs decided to be anal about the AI. So cos of that, we had to go a second round for both Part As and Bs. And it was damn hot outside so I became super black lol. Had lunch and stuff before we tried to wrap things up (Omg I miss the canteen chicken damn shiokkkk). The last thing for the day was the 1m for Part C limbo. I was damn bored so I decided to give some retarded live commentary. It was freakinggggg winddyyyyy but Joshua managed to clear the bar holy shietttt (I think half-tyco though). Then it started freaking pouring so we moved everyone into the MPH and just closed up with what we could. We finished up the rest of the limbo the next morning. All the COs decided to completely reset everything so Joshua lost his score. In the end, North View won the category, and took 2nd place over our 3rd cos of that. Sigh. To be honest I thought that it shouldn't be up to the TOs to decide how the competition to be run. Even Danial thought it would have been fair to let Joshua keep his score. But oh well, what's done is done. Might feedback to the DC that they should lower the weightage for Part C. And that kinda concluded Air Comp 2013. 

Come on, come on, turn a little faster. Come on, come on, the world will follow after. 

Well I guess it's only starting to sink in now. But there's nothing much more to say I think, not that it really matters. I'm just happy I got all of what I wanted to say out. And the retention of hope, keeps most people going. So maybe yes, I'll try. As long as you're happy:) And although it's 2 different things, I think it still applies, that it's proved in the letting go. 

Good Night 

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

Forever

Well it seems like it since my last post. Meh, not much to update besides promos but updating isn't the only thing.

When it's not worth dying for

I beg to differ, whatever it is. ANYWAY. So promos was the burden of my life for like a week and a half. Glad that it's over now but I have Air Comp to organise and PW (especially OP and I&R now) oh man WHY SCHOOL WHY LIFE WHY. WELL... promo results so far has been pretty okay. Passed most my shit except Econs, but that was to be expected anyways. Lit, as usual, is taking a hella long time to come back. Not really sure what to expect, but I hope I pass well enough, or at least maintain the D I got from mid years. Only disappointment came from GP. Screwed up my compre pretty badly (think cos I was a a bit tired couldn't really sleep the night before, but that's no excuse). Compo did "better" but I think I could have done a lot better for that actually. So, nothing much from GP. Felt more relieved that I passed Math and Physics (More so Maths). Could have done better for Physics I think, but I got the mark I deserved. Just glad I don't think I need to retain. Re-paper for Econs sua.

Back to training for climbing now. Think I'm improving so kind of satisfied with that. Managed complete 2 and a half leads one training. Tried the super hard yellow route but couldn't even get past the 3rd clip LOL. Hope I can try again tomorrow and go to maybe the 6th clip. MUST CONQUER THAT SHIT. On a side note, David helped me buy SC2 hehe. I don't even have motivation to climb to Gold elo what is this. SC2 too distracting. Still love the RTS genre after all these years and I think SC2 sounds like a fun alternative to League now :) Though still hoping for that Elise skin hahaha. Looking forward to getting better. Think I play too conservatively. Jian Hui's learning pretty fast, and I got destroyed cos he actually built a barracks in my base and I didn't realise LOL.

After so long, it was nice I guess. To "catch up"(?). Idk, just felt like quite a while. I think I get it luh. I hope it's not really like the trusting, but that others can solve the problem better. Aha. Got it. Even so, it's pretty hard to just sit by. But as long as everything turns out okay... :)

Good Night

PS. (Your turn don't forget LOL)

Wanna mean it when I say it
Can you hear me at all?