Gosh, the weather right now is so nice I could just asleep halfway.
I have Forever Reign stuck in my head. Awesome.
ANYWAYS, I think it really was meant for me to go for confi camp. After I missed out on both Pearce and the dining in I was like: if I missed those, confi camp better be frigging awesome. And it was! Haha :D I was thinking wah, if I so suay just to go for the full camp, confirm is other People working. And right now I really believe that everything has a balance. You can have nothing, but somehow or other, you will gain everything else.
So like first day, I arrived slightly earlier than the rest. Then I was stoning outside the retreat house wondering how camp would go. So after everyone else arrived, sort out into group then more or less the normal intro stuff. I was with Edmund, Ryan, Chris, Raya and Annabelle. Chessina (I think that's how you spell?) was supposed to be in my group, but I heard alot of Lourdes people pon, so I guess she was one of them. So Chris Sim landed up in my group. Starting was kinda awkward cos Fernando was kinda nervous also. The other 2 facils Greg and Zoa weren't there yet cos they had school. Then Brother Jude gave his talk. In between got a lot of P&W sessions also. That night was like a preview of day 2, with all the intense praying and stuff. Next day we had games and all, which was superhappyfuntime. Especially the water bomb! And the broken telephone was damn epic. The first one was ''Brother Jude'', then everyone kept pointing to Greg, and the letter ''I'' on his t-shirt *facepalm* Almost no link. So after that we had confession.. I thought it would be more meaningful, but the priest was... haiz... just say all the normal stuff, so the confession felt very ''normal''. AND THEN, we had the night session. Everyone was kinda nervous and scared, cos the facils were all like hardcore preparing for it. Once the thing started, I kinda made up my mind beforehand actually. So after my turn, I was like ''whoah''.. then I look around and saw Tan crying. In my mind I heard someone say ''It's ok. See? Even Tan also'' and I think that's the point where everything came out. All the stuff I've been bottling up the last few months, all the shit that's happened recently, the confusion.. I think it was the first time I've cried about something happy. Actually not happy. It was more like... overwhelmed.
Haiz.. (I just realised I'm saying ''haiz'' more). Then I saw an ant on the carpet, so I picked it up and named it Bruce. Just because I felt like it.
So after that we had some testimonies. I'm not saying mine here. But it was at that point that I finally realised that everything happens for a reason. As in REALLY understood it. And I find it kind of funny that Christiane was also in a similar situation. Like she also applied to go overseas, but also didn't get in.
I guess all along in matters about Catholicism, I've always known ''I should do this'' or ''I should do that'' but never really got the guts. Cos I was scared people would think stuff about me. Like ''since when Jon Chew like that one O.o'' haha. But there, you find that it doesn't really matter at all.
Gosh, I wish I could just live in the retreat house for like, FOREVER. And just forget the outside world. And have P&W everyday! Haha.
I seriously hope I can maintain this. I think facilitating next year's camp sounds good. I have a feeling this is the start of something awesome in SBC.
PG!
Good Night.
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