Wishful Thinking

But it's just the price I pay,
Destiny is calling me,
Open up my eager eyes,
Cos I'm Mr. Brightside :)

Loved that song last time, still do. What an appropriate song :)

Haha I feel like blogging about geek schtuff. Not really geek schtuff lah, but hey, humour me :D haha.

Apparently scientists have (sort of) found a way to break the lightspeed barrier, using neutrinos. And this is possibly the biggest breakthrough since E=MC2 (which ironically, it just proved wrong). Although most scientists around the world are sceptical, I believe (want) this to be true. After all, most of our theories and concepts we have now were thought to be ''outrageous'' in their time (think Copernicus etc.) So hopefully the results of the experiment hold up, cos I desperately wish to witness at least unmanned interstellar travel before I die. I know, not very feasible, but hey, one can dream :) I've always been fascinated by space, especially the theories bordering on science fiction. I've harboured the slim hope that one day I can be a theoretical physicist. But hey, who am I bluffing. I can't even bloody pass Sec sch physics T.T oh well, looking forward to future developments.

In a 2nd piece of exciting science news, apparently doctors have found a ''cure'' with a 90% success rate for curing AIDS. And this is wonderful because millions upon millions could benefit if this ''cure'' actually worked. So many innocent people suffer because of AIDS. An unlucky blood transfusion, an unwitting sex partner etc. The social stigma of having AIDS has been even called worse than the illness itself. Until society can change their mindset fully, it's not going to happen anytime soon. As someone once said, ''The assholes of the world are people who never grew up from high school''. I guess he's right :)

Did I make it too obvious?

Quick studying update would go something like:
History (Maybe)
A and E Maths (I think can. Then again, this mindset screwed up my term 3 maths)
Physics (Dunno. Maybe can. Looking shaky)
Chem (Enjoy it, but don't know whether can convert into actual results)
Lit and SS (SS haven't really start. Lit not at all. Dead)

Agh prolly won't be able to blog during EOYs. See whether I can squeeze in one last post tmr or Sunday.

It wasn't supposed to end up like this. You weren't supposed to. But I'm stuck, and you're too pre-occupied.

Good Night

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Help

Today was my first violin lesson in about a month. 1 whole month. And I probably practised only 4 or 5 times in that month. Wonderful. I was praying she wouldn't scold me. Landed up the whole lesson basically she going through the new scales format. And cause I actually bothered to learn the new scales also, at least she wasn't so pissed. Yay... but she did scold me cause it was quite crappy also... lucky we didn't have time for pieces, or I would've been royally screwed.

Fuckit, my mom just started scolding me out of the blue for leaving my notes on the table. Wtf. And then since she got nothing else better to do, go and find something else to be mad at me about. Apparently putting my violin case next to the door instead of behind it is a crime, which promptly got it thrown out of the room. Yes, THROWN. And she complains that I always don't take care of it. Well, at least it was in the case before she threw it. But still.... sigh. Hooray....

Pfft.

After that I went for church to serve my weekday duty. Was wondering why it was different from the mass in sch this morning... oh well. I just suddenly got a feeling to stay back after mass. So I did. I found a pew near the back and knelt down. What happened next, even I don't know why. I just cried and poured out everything in my mind. And the only thing I kept repeating was ''God help me''. I think I must be going crazy... then Isaac and Alfred started locking up church, so I finished up my hysterical prayer and left. Although I did feel calmer after that :) God's a good listener.

Agh, come home just stone on FB. Couldn't be bothered to start on chem. I managed to finish History before mass started. Maybe I'll go refresh it now before I sleep.

Good Night

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Pfft

I'm trying to think of what to blog now... *thinker pose* I told myself I'd make this a ''normal post''. I feel like such an attention whore when I post rants/rages -.- But I can't deny the fact that it does kinda help...

Anddd ''normal'' brings me to the fact that I didn't do any homework/studying today. At all. I am so screwed. Now I have probably the entire WWII Causes to memorise tomorrow. Whoopee. And that's only like half of the essays I need to memorise.

Pfft. Lucky Geog-Lit students *jealous*

Omg I'm deferring to the most boring thing to talk about. Wonderful,I'm trying to squeeze water out of the desert in my brain. I realise I like talking in metaphors :P it's kinda fun actually. It's like if you can't think of anything else better to say, use metaphors :D Well, suffice to say, the weather today was totally awesome. I slept through the first half of chem and later, the last half of SS. Damnit, just reminded myself of the SS stuff I have to bloody memorise _l_

After school had chinese tuition. It was eye-opening, but I promised to make this a normal post. So I'm not going to discuss the intricacies of human nature now/here :D

Supposed to go meet Li Xin for the rehearsal thing. Was trying to help ZB think of excuses to juss his mom and go also haha ^^ in the end he came :D Someone's *cough* phone died on them, so we only reached the studio at 6.30 -.-

Pfft. Feel like a noob looking at piano scores T.T In the end reach home at 8.35. Haha I told my mom I was studying at Northpoint McDonald's. The convo went something like this:

Her: COME HOME NOW! WHY YOU SO LATE?!
Me: aiyah we kena chase out. Have to go find new place
Her: HURRY UP COME HOME! YOU WON'T KENA CHASE OUT!
Me: Sure boh...
Her: I don't know what your msg mean. But hurry up! You still need practise!
Me: Ok can

Haha win (Y). I guess that's about all

Good Night

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Decisions

Am I doing the right thing? I wish I knew.

Studying doesn't hold the same distraction anymore... well if count tuition as sorta studying. Had maths and physics back to back. Comfortable with A Maths. Can't say the same for Physics though. Hoping for at least a B4 for EOY. Gosh I haven't even started Chem yet. Maybe I'll start tomorrow. And I didn't do my 4 essays for History today. So I'll be doing 8 essays tomorrow T.T

Why couldn't you just be there? You don't know, because it isn't obvious to anyone besides me. Why can't you just be around, so I'm not the one feeling the pressure? I need your help and you don't know it. Building walls... I don't know why I do it. Why torture myself. Why not just confide in someone. Because the only person I have confided in, though still my best friend, is so different in mentality. He can't help me. And I don't know who can.

Hang in there, because I know how you feel, and because everybody hurts. So keep holding on

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide
- King of Anything :)

And crap, Crouch just scored for Stoke. Man U haven't seemed to be themselves since the Chelsea match ._. But I have faith they'll come back :)

Faith. Have it. You might be blind, but faith will take you where you need to go. Have faith :)

Good Night

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