Enchanted

Take my whole life too

Cemented the idea that people suck today. The most heartwrenching thing. So today we had our volunteer experience at MPFSC. Was initally quite sceptical (skeptical, whatever) about how it would go, cos haven't really worked with elderly before. Plus, find it so hard already to talk with people of my own age, how to interact with the old peeps lol. Plus, Chinese wtf. Never touched it for so long, speaking today was like some retard, seriously. But in any case we were just listening to them tell us about themselves. And you could tell that they were happy already just to have people listen to them. So the ah ma told me about herself and stuff, then I asked about her family. And she was really damn sad cos they only visited her once a year even though the fking lived in Pasir Ris wtf, not even that far. Saying that even being their friend was better than how they treat her as their ah ma like that. Really felt like shit after hearing that. Just so happened that she was the ah ma of one of the VJ volunteers there also. Alicia and I decided that maybe we could go visit them every friday or so. Then the most fked up thing happened. We asked the granddaughter if she had their house number (in case we wanted to go and they weren't at home) and she replied "Oh can't be bothered to have their number". In my mind I was like wtf if I could slap that bitch right then I would have if not for the fact that she was, well, a bitch (Female). Really learnt to appreciate my own grandparents from that experience and can say that it was definitely rewarding. But the point is that I realised that okay it's not me who's being pessimistic but it turns out humanity is shit in the real world. Hope that I can cheer them up :)

I don't know bout you, but I'm feeling 22

So hard now. I sort of realised that nowadays I don't really do anything unless I see a need for it. So as a result I'm more or less silent with newer people. Familiar faces are a different story. But someone asked me "You don't intend to make VJ your home right?" And with unsettling certainty I thought to myself and realised  "No". Maybe it's too early too call anything now. In any case the only thing I look forward to these days are N Air trainings in sch or HQ stuff. Hope this changes though, even if I don't think it will. Can't be anti social for 2 years :P And I also find it kinda amusing how the system is completely different. Back then it wasn't hard because being open and approachable was all you needed. Now something else comes into play. So well, I guess what other people say is true. Didn't believe it last time, but now I do.

Not wondering anymore, because I know. All I'd ever ask for is a fair chance.

If I ever let you know


Good Night

These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon

Redemption

The story of Snape. Because even though he did try, what chance did he have? And all he could do was watch. Watch and do the best he could in his capacity. They say that history is written by the victors. And the victors are usually the ones that get there first innit?

So we had the second part of post interview on wednesday. It was pretty funny, considering the fact that some of them were really quite blur. Found it kind of irritating though, that the "default" post was Part B Spec. Basically those that sort of wanted a post but knew they'd prolly not get anything "good" just aimed B Spec for the sake of aiming. Damn waste of time, sigh. But the part that sort of really mattered was the last guy. We all could see that he was really trying his best to redeem himself. And that, to me, was what really made me rethink my initial impressions of him. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, so with him, I didn't see why not. Hopefully, he will continue this attitude, because it would definitely benefit the unit a hell lot. He's the sort of person that would be able to gain the respect of the cadets very easily if he wanted to. So all he needs to do, I guess, is to believe in himself. Jiayous to you. 

It was also from this that I realised what I loved so much about the Chaos Walking was the whole redemption idea. Because truly caring about someone is means forgiveness and redemption in your eyes, no matter how screwed that person might be. And that though everyone is imperfect, you gotta keep trying, because who knows, someday you might succeed :)

Had BAWC Test Day proceed as according to the AI. But wtf, it was bloody screwed up that day. Almost everyone couldn't make it cos of the Camp STEEL stuff, and *cough*certainpeople*cough* just didn't show up. So it turned out to be Jallene, me and also Pang, Kishore-(MIRA LOL) and Jalynn (Is that how you spell? Ah whatever, Jallene v2.0) doing the stuff. Damn heng, cos originally it would've been me and Jallene tanking all the shit. Then SOMEHOW the wing I chose WASN'T GLUED TOGETHER WTF. So when Danial (Oh yeah he dropped by a bit) was testing one guy, he overbanked and the damn wing just snapped in half. SO... we just finished up the theory shit and gave them back. Decided to completely reschedule their practical to the 2nd frame, cos by then we SHOULD (and this is a big if) have the stock in. So more or less that was that. Had dinner after that with Ze Bin, (Mira)Bodi they all. 

So there was Air Cohesion today too. Don't know why but I felt damn irritated after the movie (which was ABTM2, but whatever), and not just cos I was tired. 

Aiyah I don't know lah, not sure if it's just me or is everything else getting shittier by the damn day, not just my problem. Maybe if I had some balls too I would've not given a shit too and just plonked. But one does not simply undermine the unspoken agreement lol. Some days I wonder if I hadn't let it go that way. But I realise that maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. Maybe. But I guess there's one thing I think I'm still sure about. 

"After all this time?"
"Always" said Snape.

Maroon 5 :)

Good Night

                          But tonight I need to hold you so close