Ok so rewinding back through 2013. I don't know actually, what I want to say. This is one of those few posts when I have nothing prior in mind before I start writing. To be brutally honest, I hated 2013. It's not the year. JC just sucks the life out of me so much I don't care about so many things anymore. At the start it wasn't so bad. I still had some NCC to look forward to. I know what. I'll get all the bad stuff from 2013 out so I can focus and end on the bright side. Sounds good. Okay bad stuff. Most of my teachers hate me now, and I honestly can't find a fuck to give. The only teachers I actually cared about were Ms Sng, Ms Chia and Ms Ho, and the first 2 are gone. What a fucking joke. Mr Lim's okay I guess, but he doesn't get involved much. Ms Yeo too. I have the wonderful privilege (/s) of having Mr Lum and Mr Foo ohgodwhy. I swear those 2 alone pretty much made my life hell the whole year. To be fair, it wasn't without reason, so right now I don't hate them, they're (kinda) doing their job. Doesn't make school any better though. My results for the year have been shit too. I haven't kept up with most of my schoolwork. The only academic thing that I actually put any semblance of effort into was PW, and that isn't even really THAT academic. Chionging for promos 2 weeks before doesn't really count also, I believe. Not only that, but after a while, I could see why people like Zhan Hong were happy to leave. NCC felt so much like a tedious job after some time, having to put so much into something you cared about makes it hard to maintain a level of enthusiasm anymore. Not so much a "bad" thing, I just felt a bit disappointed at the way post-COC NCC turned out. But oh well, I think it's quite normal.
Looking through, the only negative of the year was school. But to me it took up so much that I couldn't. I don't know, I just couldn't. Maybe it's not even school that's the problem. So sick of everything now. Moving on to happy stuff. Climbing I think, has been one of the better parts of the year. I've managed to get to know some really awesome people, and kind of stick with that fagit Jia Zhi at the same time hahaha. The people in climbing have kind of brightened up training and made it so much more fun, and after finale night for VA, I realised that they're the ones I can stick with even when all this is over. Also, NCC has been really good actually, when I can go and lepak that is. It was more relieving than anything to go for the courses and camps, just to be able to enjoy myself with the 62nd and such. And as always there's the retarded antics with Saving Private Zhi Ming. I can't express how much they mean to me, and I really hope I never lose them. (GAYYYYYYYYY). There's been church peeps too, but thinking back I'm sad that we've drifted this much. Raya hardly shows her face anymore, Rachel never joins us too. Oen is sometimes too lazy to come for 9.30, and Sean is like on and off. I don't know what to do I just hope that church can still keep us together. It's one of the few constants in my life that I need.
Ok so after all that, this is NOT a happy post, I think. LOL. So much for ending on a high note. I think I'm slowly going mad. It doesn't seem like much, but it's gonna happen sooner or later. I'm too emotional over things I shouldn't be, and don't give a fuck about too many things I should. This whole great apathy screams of anxiety, but I'll just take it as it comes. I realise that through my life, there's always a person I counted on to keep me sane, to give me a reason to stay. I don't know. I still wonder if what I did was real or just a result of being by myself so much. Not sure how long before this year breaks me. I'm not sure how to put this also, so I left it for the end, even though I've already said this so many times because well. It never ceases to amaze me that I know someone so special. I think that's the high note I'm ending off actually, so yay :)
Reddit Thread . This actually made me tear up
Good Night
