Went to watch Frozen on Wednesday with Francine and Edwin. The movie was really good :D It reminds me a lot of Tangled, but I still prefer Tangled hahaha. Apparently Flynn and Rapunzel had a short cameo in Frozen as well :P Didn't catch it at first but Francine pointed it out later and I was super mindblown lol. I LOVE TANGLED it still manages to get me even after all this time. Think I should re-watch it again sometime soon (as long as I don't cry). Chatted a bit with both of them while lepaking after the movie at the Macs downstairs. Bitches be crazy yo, there was this girl Edwin knew that kept drunk calling him during the movie also whuttttttt. And some shit happened to Francine so like, not just bitches be crazy, everyone is crazy. World too scary man... And I guess it helps to understand anyway, cos we're all in the same boat :P Oh I also didn't mention how I freaking love the songs in Frozen as well. Let It Go and Do You Wanna Build A Snowman are soooooo goood, and kid Anna is really cute hahaha. "Ok Bye..." Hope I can continue enjoying these kinds of movies with them :)
Saturday was AGM in the morning. Felt super reluctant to go in the morning but aiya just heck cared and went anyway. Apparently the DC wasn't around so we couldn't hold a proper AGM per se. We just sorta introduced the people around as well as the 63rd. Hafiz and Fazrin went up to talk for a while about their NS experiences to the 63rd as well. Was pretty meh overall, though it was kinda fun to kajiao Jeremiah while he sat beside me lol. Had the initiation shit after that which didn't seem as fun as last year, though hella lot of people got ponded. Maybe cos John wasn't there and Zhan Jiang was being a pussy hahaha. I even kena thrown in because of that Zhan Jiang UGH. The bottom of the pond is fucking slippery with all the algae and shit in it. Had some weird AAR thing before we left. The package was doing retarded stuff and THEY BROUGHT POLAROIDS WHAT? Me and Ze Bin ended up being like those ppl who pose for all the photos you take like idk, entertainment and shit hahaha. Was pretty funny actually, and then Jal said something so retarded wtf cos Ze Bin was trying to take a pic of the whole package then Jal went "Fill us up Ze Bin" WTFUUUU HAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA I couldn't stop laughing it was fucking mad LOL. Went for lunch at AMK Macs after that then went back.
I think this is another one of those pointless posts again. I wonder you know, all the time. I just can't bring myself to it because in the end does what I do actually matter? And I was thinking too after the movie and realise that, getting over something means waiting for the time when it isn't the first thing that comes to your mind everytime it wanders off.
Going to start chronicaling everything while I'm over here so I don't forget. I cant possibly remember 2 weeks at one shot, so I'll start while in the hotel somewhere in Venice. The thing about going overseas, is that it tends to make you think. A lot. More so with Timo here and the only person he can think of is his Angeline hahaha. While waiting on the plane, in transit at the airport, eating some sandwhiches. Angeline LOL. But I understand. There comes a point in life where you stop thinking of the future in terms of just yourself. But well, moving on.
Day 1 has mostly been just travelling. Plane to Charles De Gaulle airport before we were due to transit to Venice. The only kinda interesting thing that happened was that the baggage handlers at the Venice airport went on strike LOL so we were diverted to Bologna. 2 hour bus ride brought us to the Venetian airport, and then we took a speedboat to Venice itself. Even at night when you can't see much, the place is really wonderful. It's exactly like how they depict it. The waterways, the bridges, the alleyways. Happy me is happy because OLD BUILDINGS hahaha :D I like thinking about the history of things. Too caught up in the past :P Pretty cool place (literally). Had dinner then we closed up for the night. Timo's talking to Angeline now and it's kind of amusing actually, in a sweet kinda way. Sigh my phone battery dies too fast :P Oh well now for the second day.
Wake up in the morning got my glasses and shit. Slept pretty early actually but woke up super shagged. Had a nice breakfast (croissants and ham and cheese yay) then we set out to explore the rest of the place haha. Went to St. Mark's Square. Ok wtf Timo is rly distracting now LOL. K back to the Square. The one thing I noticed about the place is that the pigeons are badass. In that, they don't give a fuck, walking around like they own the place (they probably do) and aren't scared of people. If you take food out they'd jump on you and try to snatch it away whutttttt. Went into this Basilica which was really nice, and just looked at the paintings on the ceiling. The thing that kind of irritated me was the blatant commercialism and shit. Like in the middle of the square there was this bigass LG advertisement which just ruined the view. There's also beggars that lie around. It's really really heartbreaking to see people just hunched over like that, but maybe I don't understand the situation in Europe. Then again, if someone was being a dick to them, I'd probably be too much of a shithead to help anyway. Pfft. The 2 moms did the shopping and stuff while Timo and I went around exploring the place and such. After that we went to Murano, which is where they make all the glass around here. Went to see a factory where 2 of the craftsmen were making this vase. The whole island is really nice, and the glass pieces are damn pretty hahaha. Too bad they're kinda expensive though, I thought of getting one. Checked out this old church, and the paintings inside were super nice also. Lit a candle for some people. After that we just went back and lepak-ed. Not rly having a proper dinner.
Freaking charger won't charge my phone properly. Or maybe it's just the electricity here. Ferry rides are nice to think during, cos you get a look at the sea at the same time. And I realised that every story has that person. The Asami (which kinda changed to Korra, shocker). The Leo Valdez. The Nico di Angelo. The Gale. The Sokka. They're all part of stories with happy endings. But there's always something more. Everyone loves a good story. Maybe there's another Calypso somewhere. That's all for today I guess.
This writing thing is pretty nice. I feel like some travelling writer taking down my autobiography hahaha. Currently at a rest stop somewhere in the mountains and it's snowing :D Sian I cant really type properly with my fingers so cold but BEAR WITH IT. We're on our way to Assisi now. Breakfast in the morning as usual before we left Venice. My dad's driving us to Assisi and it's gonna take a while. But I think after a few Malaysia trips I think I'm kinda used to long car rides alr :P Timo's phone was playing songs so we just sang along to some hahaha. If These Sheets Were The States, Jet Lag and Tonight played one after another :O I THINK NOT. Oh well there's nothing much now, gonna eat a bit, maybe Enjoy the snow a bit... will update later
We're here in Assisi now and the wind is superrrrr strong. Got here at around 4pm like that, and the scenery on the way here was... perfect. The mountain range, snow-capped trees and lakes, the open fields... it was really like looking at a golf course except it was natural LOL. Assisi turns out to be this small-ish city on a hill and it looks like Minas Tirith from below hahaha. The hotel room is damn cool there's a staircase to an upper floor :O The room overlooks the rest of the city and the view is frickin nice :D Dinner was at the hotel restaurant downstairs and it was really nice too :) More or less wraps up today.
So TIL I'm a fucking hypocrite. but then again, hasn't that always been the case. SO woke up showered blah blah. Breakfast wasnt too bad, the croissant with jam inside was quite nice. My lips are starting to crack pretty badly though. Got one on each side and it hurts like a BITCH. Apparently I can't even lick my lips to keep them moist because saliva makes the cracking worse. Only thing left is lip balm which annoys me to no end but bopian lor. First thing this morning was the Basilica of St Francis. The place is sooooo nice, and the view from the top is even better erghmahgerd. Attended a short mass also, and went to see St Francis' crypt as well. Next place another Basilica. There's this really cool statue of St Francis with doves in the basket he's holding. Like legit doves. Coooooooooollllll. Having dinner now so I'll just babble a bit while waiting for the food. Came to me while I was outside for a bit. And you come to realise you hardly know what it truly means to be ALONE. To have only your thoughts for company and staring into a billion colours as the sun sets. It's almost poetic. And I learn that I'm degenerating into the self-pitying, craving for attention and the approval of others, kind of person which I detest to the core. Time to stop depending on others.
Nice places make you think a lot :P
Ohmytian was too tired yesterday so didn't get anything down. Got to the hotel at like 12.30am? Back to the start first. Morning we went back to the St Francis Basilica but this time we had a guide with us. Learnt quite a few interesting things about the Basilica and his life from the guy. That day was really foggy though, could see like some mini-snow ice crystals in the air around. But the sun was out bright and nice so it wasn't too cold. Went for mass again before we went back to the hotel. Left on another ride heading to Rome, but planned on stopping by Lanciano first. Now this. THIS. Has got to be the most fucking retarded part of the entire trip so far. It goes like this. We drive. We stop at rest stop. Aunty Nat, my mom and myself get off at said rest stop to relieve ourselves. We get out of previously mentioned rest stop, and the van is no. Fucking. Where. In. Sight. I can't call anyone or text because there is no network, and I can't even get a data signal. So we're stuck inside blind and deaf waiting for something to happen. And after like 45mins of stoning LO AND BEHOLD THE VAN ARRIVES. AND EVERYONE INSIDE HAS THE SHEEPISH LOOK OF A CRIMINAL. Because guess what. They didn't realise we weren't in the van and drove off. YEAP. THAT HAPPENED. You can't imagine how fucking pissed off we were OHMYGAWD UGH. Went down to Lanciano after that to see the miracle. The one where the host and wine turned into live flesh and blood. It was quite... inspiring, I think. To see the actual thing in the flesh (2/10, I know that was terrible). Had dinner at some Kebab place and it was goooooooddddd, especially with the hot sauce LOL. And so I learnt that Middle Eastern Kebab is best kind of Kebab. And it was relatively cheap too :P Drove off to Rome after that and checked in. That's about it I think.
Started watching some parts of Naruto and finding out more about the different characters, and I think the Ame orphans of Nagato, Yahiko and Konan are easily my favourite. Watched the battle between Konan and Obito and I was really damn sad that she died :( Her post-death scene really shook me up ( plus she's kinda hot too :P ). I think that why I like the trio is because of the idealism bounded by their loyalty to each other. And maybe it stems from my sentimentality, but I really value loyalty a lot. The 3 of them are the true heroes, to me. Naruto is just a whiny shit, and yeah the Kage are powerful, but they just do their job. The 3 of them actually tried to change the world for good, and died in the process. That really got to me. Hopefully they can get revived or something, because they were true characters worth loving.
Waiting for dinner again so I'll get something down if not I'll be too tired later. My lips aren't as dry here in Rome but the cracks are bleeding and I can't even smile/laugh properly LOL. Hope it gets better soon. Anywayssss, went for mass in the morning after breakfast. Met up with a sister there from our parish and then we made our way to the Vatican. It was damnnnnn windy today like "sweep-you-away" kind of windy hahaha. The immigrants selling stuff are starting to get pretty annoying also, but I guess that's more or less all they have. Made it just in time to observe the Pope's address which was pretty cool :D He was quite far away though, so couldn't get a good picture. Went for lunch after that and then we went to the Colosseum! Had a short tour by this guide who had a super thick Italian accent but was mostly understandable. She kept saying "imagine ______" which made it sound damn lot like OP hahaha. Stayed a bit more at the Colosseum before we left. Next place was this fountain which was REALLY beautiful. Lotsa people were throwing coins in and I made a wish and threw one in too XD Dinner today was not bad, but not as nice as the meals we had at other places though :P Guess that's about it for today, quite full at the moment ._. Need to remember to start updating on schedule lol. Was distracted with my phone and book last night ._. So for 2 Dec (wtf it's Dec alr) we went to the Vatican museum for a guided tour thing. Oh wait we went to another church in the morning (too many basilicas here in Rome) before we headed for the Vatican again. Thank God the guide didn't have a super thick Italian accent this time. So went in blah blah and the first place we went was the garden. In the garden they set up some boards with pictures of the ceiling frescoes in the Sistine Chapel, so guides could explain them there cos you weren't supposed to talk in the chapel. Learnt quite a bit about Michaelangelo and the dick-ish pope he was working under LOL. Surprised to find out that the ceiling he did was he first painting gig, which is quite an achievement already. Went to look
at the Raphael rooms after that, done by Raphael of course, and then we went to the Sistine Chapel to see the actual ceiling. Gosh it was beautiful~~~ and the thought of observing a painting hundreds of years old in front of your eyes tends to catch you off as well. Went to St Peter's Basilica after that. IT WAS HUGEEEEEEEEE ERGHMAHGERD. One of the things I realised about Basilicas around here is that they're so freaking big they have like side chapels along the left and right sides. Saw the tomb of John Paul II which was quite awe-inspiring. Attended mass at the basilica also which was super cool, then went out looking for dinner. Saw this damn funny guy trying to get us to patronise his restaurant and he started shouting random stuff when we passed by like "KONBANWA" and "ANNEONGHASAEYO" LOL WE'RE NEITHER. Had dinner at the chinese restaurant again because we missed local food that much. Shopped for souvenirs at this shop manned by a pretty cool Fillipina and her friend. She could speak Italian quite well and then she told us 谢谢 before we left :D And I guess that's about all. Thought I should start on today at the same time, so I won't procrastinate later. Timo asked me to go to the hotel gym this morning but well uhm... I couldn't wake up WOOPS. So breakfast and stuff then we went down to the Forum, which is this HUGEEEEEE site filled with the ruins of ancient Rome. Overall it was quite nice, just that some parts were abit boring because :ruins: so yeah. The impressive ones were the columns of the old temples, mainly the ones of Castor & Pollux (And so TIL Dionysus' sons in Percy Jackson are named after 2 Roman gods) and also the one of Saturn aka ZEUSSSSSSS which was the coolest because there were still like 8 columns. Mighty impressive I must say. Walked around for quite a while, saw an awesome view, before we left. Went to St John Laterine's Basilica after that (another one LOL). Saw the holy steps which were said to be the one Jesus walked up when going to Pontius Pilate. You couldn't simply walk up the steps though you had to climb them with your knees. So one flight of steps later my knees hurt like crap, but it was a good experience actually. Didn't know what to pray for so I prayed for a different person on each step, which kinda helped me clear all my worries about each person at one shot. Had a small mass again after that then dinner. Last night in Rome so my dad ordered a bit more stuff hahaha. The lasagna was super good and the waiter here is super friendly and nice also :D hooray for nice and friendly waiters (Y) Having gelato also for the first time. I GOT THE LEMON ONE IT'S HEAVEN UGHHHHHHHH. It's so good wtf I could give birth to more lemons after eating this. It's lemon gelato inside A REAL LEMON. JIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Oh man SO GOOD. Ok no more spazz, that's all for today. Alessio restaurant.
OKAY so I'm waiting outside the baths which I avoided thankfully LOL. I still want to preserve my eyesight and innocence so yeah, nope nope nope nope. Yesterday was just travelling. Woke up in the morning for the flight to Paris. Had a small lunch there before we took the bullet train. The train was quite nice actually, comfortable and all. Just that the ride was soooo bloooody long. 6hours of pure nothing-ness lol. There wasn't even nice scenery to look at. And for some reason the pressure kept changing and it was damn irritating tch. Arrive in Lourdes at around 9plus? The room is okay, just really cold because there isn't a proper heater per se. So yeah, about it.
Next day~~still freezing cold here. Went for mass again at a small chapel nearby, then went to visit the grotto of St Bernadette. Everyone else went for the bath thing first, but I didn't feel like going, plus i was a bit sick anyway. So yeah, came out and looked around the grotto. For some reason from the pictures I saw, I thought the place would be bigger lol. And there's seats there so mass can be celebrated there, but it's cold I don't know how people can tahan an outdoor mass. After that we had lunch at this asian restaurant which was not bad also, then went back to see the basilica. We were damn tired already so I basically stoned around until we went back to the hotel. The basilica is damn dark though, hard to see much. The crypt was okay also, but it wasn't the one with St Bernadette's body, just some "fragments". Had dinner at this super nice super atas place hahaha. Most high-class dinner of my life, but it cost a bomb. Quite worth it though, I think. Went back and crashed, and thats about it.
I blabber on too much sometimes I think :P Timo's gone to meet his Angeline, and I'm here eating dinner at 10.30 lol. Ok I'll try to finish 2 days at once. So yesterday morning we left for Paris from Lourdes. The taxi driver was super friendly and nice chattimg with us. Learnt from him that in Europe mostly people chiong work for like 7 or 8 months then lepak during the rest of the year during winter time LOL. Sounds quite shiok sia, can go skiing and all, but don't know if the chionging months are worth it. Maybe, cos back home we chiong all the time anyway :/ Reached Paris after a 1.5hr flight, and got to the hotel. The hotel is the coolest I've stayed in, the design and furniture is super modern and artistic LOL. And colourful! :D Kept our stuff then we went out to jalan jalan for the rest of the day. Went to this pasar malam kind of place which was really vibrant hahaha. Was nice to see people enjoying themselves and having fun :) Walked down all the way to see the Arc du Triomphe (think that's how it's spelled) and then turned back. Spent A LOT of time there cos my mom kept looking at shit but not buying most of it. Saw quite a few street performers which really brightened up the street and vibe also. Tim kena pulled into one of the performances to do some weird dance shit LOL. Had dinner then went back.
Okay on to this morning. Woke up kinda late and we went to the cafe next door for breakfast (was sorta brunch already). Lol they're playing Blurred Lines now. Ok back on topic. First stop was Notre Dame! Looked impressive from the outside. Went inside and it was okay okay lah. Not much interesting stuff though. They were celebrating mass also and I was wondering how they could even concentrate with all the visitors walking through. Oh well. Went to the Saint Chapelle after that. Had to queue for abit before we went in. Adults had to pay so only my mum accompanied the 5 of us inside. The stained glass was jaw droppinggggggg. It was damn colourful and serene and made you feel nice inside hahaha. They were still restoring some of it so we couldn't see the whole thing. Still enjoyed it nonetheless. Went to the Louvre next. Crossed the love lock bridge and Timo went to find the lock Angeline placed there LOL. Sooo mushy :P It was a number lock so it wasn't hard to find at the side heh. Went into the Louvre after that (the facade outside is REALLY nice). Looked around the section the Mona Lisa was in. The place is HUGE. One section alone took quite a while. Finally saw the Mona Lisa. Was a bit anti-climatic though. Took some pictures and shit then we left. Last stop, and I think the best, was the Eiffel Towarrrrrrrr. The sparkling lights every hour were well... sparkly 8D The queue for the elevator was too damn long so we went for the stairs instead. Climbed up to the first (which had disgusting toilets) and second floor, the view was AMAZINGGGGGGG. But the best was the top floor which we took a lift up to. That was easily one of the best moments of my life. Took lotsa pictures then we went down. Had dinner super late then went back to sleep.
Woke up early because we were going to Versaille that day. Took a kinda long train ride to the small town and went for mass there. Visited the Versaille palace after that. The place is freaking big lol. The palace itself isn't really the main part, it's the gardens! Like don't know how many football fields combined. Like, 15? Maybe more. Found out some cool stuff about the place before we left. Went to Aunty Nat's friend's house after that for lunch. Not much this day actually was just like general lepaking and lazing around until dinner then we went back :P The friend's son plays quite a few games also though so that was pretty cool. DOTA, D3, SC2 (wings of liberty only but meh), but no LoL hahahaha. Played some MW2, like the good old times, and Fifa 11. Really felt like 2,3 years back :P
Last day of the holiday before we go back home. Had to wake up damn early cos we needed to catch the train to Nevers. 2.5hr ride before we reached, slept all the way lol. Nevers was the coldest place so far. When we arrived it was like -3 degrees like that. Got some hot chocolate before we went to the chapel and museum where St Bernadette's body lies. There's something about an uncorrupted body that gives you chills, and not just because it's cold. Maybe if I want an uncorrupted body I should suck up to Mary hahaha. Felt really strange, in a good way, after seeing it. And reading about her, I'm beginning to like her a lot too. She seemed to have quite the sense of humour :P Attended mass and then we travelled back to Paris. Went to the Chinatown area here to have dinner. Was quite funny when we wanted to order the food, because we tried talking in English. But the guy was like "You don't speak French, I don't speak English" so we tried Chinese which worked. Then he said something in Cantonese so Uncle Arthur, Aunty Nat and my dad just conversed everything in Cantonese. Amusing way to have our last dinner here in France. Went back to the hotel to pack up the shit then sleep.
I guess TLDR; Went to some cold places, saw models everywhere, spent shit ton on food, saw lotsa churches, and had a good time.
Stupid title. One of the rare times I'm not really sure to title my post so I shall call it Details.
There's not really much to post about just that I wanted something in before I leave. I think I can start with... training?
OKAY so I overslept on Wednesday... yeap. Kept thinking that training started at the usual time 4.30 (or 3pm cos Friday training started at that time), but AS IT TURNS OUT, I woke up 30mins after training started. So that happened... waking up at like 11.30 for training. Which I kinda told them I wasn't feeling well. (If any one of you read this I apologise for lying. I'm kinda stupid that way). Well since Friday training was in the afternoon I couldn't really oversleep for that so YAY I MADE IT. Bumped into Boh and Jo on the way to CA so we went together. Boh was telling us about 3 Peas in a Pod that movie and how weird the plot was LOL. So training was actually relatively easy. Nich gave us the mock comp format so we had like one route the whole training. Which meant a lot of resting time. The route was pretty hard though even Nich struggled quite a bit, especially with the finishing tile. I was super weak, didn't even manage to easily get the cloud shape tile most of the rest could. Oh well :P PT was super hiong as usual though. So much leg shit urghhhh like 80 dynamic lunges and squat-sumos?! Can die sia. All the guys were groaning and moaning and shit it sounded damn wrong but was fucking hilariousssssssss. OMG it reminded me of the previous training where we were doing PT in the corridor which led to the lifts and these 2 girls like walked... then RAN past us to the lift HAHAHAHAHAHA. Guess we pretty much stank up the whole corridor, and the weird sounds coming from Haziq and Matthias weren't helping either LOL. So yeah, training goes on. Really hope I can improve more, my bouldering is really shitty right now, though I'd rather count on leading, but Gravical :P So yeah, need to focus more and GET SHIT DONE. #YOLOSWAGBLAZEIT420
OH watched the midnight preview of Catching Fire with Ernest, Keefe and Ernest's friend Gene. Haha damn funny I actually met her at Ernest's SOV this year but she totally forgot so its kay. Was a bit weird at first also cos I haven't seen Keefe for SO LONG, but we warmed up after a while hahaha. The whole thing started at around 9.15 when they showed the first HG movie, then after that they showed Catching Fire at around 12am. And Oh. My. Gosh. IT WAS SO GOOD. THE WHOLE CAST WAS JUST SO... I was like speechless after the movie. During the movie you didn't really feel it but once it ended I actually realised how bloody good it was. The plot followed the book almost to the point so I was super happy with that, but all the acting was super good. J. Lawrence did perfecttttt <3 span="" style="line-height: 19px;">The cast was absolutely perfect and the acting was DAMN ON POINT. Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson were like meh, but still not bad. The real jewels were Jena Malone as Johanna and Sam Claflin as Finnick omg I'm going to cry when he dies. Freaking astounding job by the actors and actresses in bringing out the characters so SO well. The plot itself was already good to begin with because it pretty much followed the book religiously. Overall movie was just fucking awesome, 10/10 would watch again
Starting to try the Campaign in Starcraft 2 Heart of the Swarm. Pretty nice so far though after playing multiplayer with David and Jian Hui, I'd rather be doing that more. Lately, they haven't been online much though :/ Watched all the cinematics for Wings of Liberty and HOTS and it's really damn good also. I think they should make a Starcraft movie, I would totally watch the shit out of that. The battle scenes would be epic. TERRANSSSSSS. OH and I wanna see if I could watch IEM Singapore, they'll have lotsa pro teams for both SC2 and LoL, but it's gonna be held when I'm overseas so oh well :( Maybe next year
One more thing, I think I might start doing this for future posts. An Askreddit thread each time :P Fragility of life
Haha I guess that's all for now until I come back from Europe. Toodles :D
Had a really bad series of runs in our ranked 5s team lately. Manfred's been playing pretty off the last few games, and Ke Shang never seems to carry. Jian Hui does his job, but it seems like David's been pretty off lately also for some reason. I'm not doing too well either, except for my Zyra, but I'm pretty sick of playing her already, even with the new skin. My Thresh has been super rusty and my Lulu just doesn't synergise with David at this level. Might start picking up Blitz soon, and use more Zyra. We almost made it past promos, but for some reason we kept getting Plat/Diamond players on the other team all the time. Hope our mmr goes down a bit more. I really want this team to succeed, cos I honestly believe that we're pretty good. Maybe we need to work on our laning phase more. Guess I've been missing out quite a bit on Solo Queue practice, which is why I'm kinda tilting on my Thresh and Lulu too, so I may go do more Solo Queue soon :P Oh well, we'll see tomorrow. On a side note, tried 3v3 in Starcraft today and it was pretty fun lol. Wasn't really much of a challenge for some reason. There was like 1 guy who knew his stuff and the other 2 were like... doing I don't know what lol. May just do more of these 3v3s or 4v4s when available.
So last Wednesday and Thursday we had Victorian Affair yayyy :D Wednesday morning was Colour Affair which was SO FUNNNNNN JAAAAA. So we like, went to school and just had this small briefing in the morning in the PT. After that we went to start painting the LT doors alr :D Our doors were the 2nd floor LT1 doors, outside the toilet there. The design for the left one was Captain America and the right side one was Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can; spins a web, any size, catches thieves just like flies LOOK OUTTTTTT here comes Spiderman! Ok enough spazzing. I did the Spiderman door, and the whole thing was pretty amusing though. Cos all the girls did the Captain America door and the guys were doing the Spiderman door, plus Alicia. Then a girl from some other class came over and asked why the guys and girls were split lol. And we decided to accept Alicia as a member of the male species after she helped us with the Spiderman door hahaha. Shit man it was damn messy sia we kept getting paint over ourselves. Oh and Ernest was just standing by the side mostly fulfilling his role as artistic director LOL. Both doors turned out really cool, and fit the theme damn well. The Capt A door was damn neat and tidy, which totally reflects his characted. And the Spiderman door was made to look a bit like the graffiti of the Spiderman logo you always see in the movies. That, and the red paint drips by Heer Tern, gave it a super cool dark feel. After that we went to have lunch. Didn't feel like going to watch the Gladiator thing, so Nich Ernest Heer Tern and I went around the classrooms to totally judge their paintings XD We went to extra a bit and watch the Gladiator challenge thing but it was super hot and kinda sian so we just went home after that :P
Thursday was the Outdoor Affair thing which was very meh overall. Didn't actually feel like going but I though hey, not going to do anything better with my morning. Was late cos I totally forgot about the morning jam. Had to wait like 5 trains before I could board one. So we all assembled outside the Dhoby Ghaut MRT and gave us like crayons to draw shit on ourselves. I drew a pretty fail Avatar arrow down Ernest's arm, but i guess it wasn't THAT bad haha sorry Ernest. SOOO... we just went through the stations, which I slacked for mostly. When we came to Sarah's station I just stared at her and she was like "Don't judge me" (too late though i already was). That station was RETARDEDDDDD. Yi Hao kena the one where he had to eat a banana and he just downed it in like THREE BITES WTFUUUU?!?!? Ryan and Wei Xuan were hilarious as usual, tying the banana to their waist and dragging it to shove a ball into the circle LOL. Yi Lin was the one juggling the plastic bags and she freaking kept walking backwards until she was almost on the road wtf that girl *facepalm* The best was CRYSTAL AND SHIRLENE HAHAHA biting off the Pockey biscuit and having to drop it into Sharlyn's mouth, and she was super creeped out ahahahaa. The next thing of note was probably the one where we were at the Promontory and we had to go to Marina Square after that. No problem, we walked about 30mins through MBS which was pretty nice. Until the part where the stationed got cancelled and no one knew until we were there. So the GM tells us to go to Citylink. Sure, no problem. We get there, no GM at all. Won-der-fucking-full. After that, we take about another 20+ mins just to go to the Lawn@Marina, which was like freaking across the road from the station at the Promontory. Much organising, such communincations, very waste time. We actually get to the Lawn early, so we have some time to eat dinner and change, and just kinda lepak while waiting for the concert to start. So the concert starts off pretty awkwardly, but it progresses really well after that. Oh and the SC group was still fucking terrible though. The fun part came when Haziq was performing and all the climbers just went full retard over him and freaking carrying him off stage LOLOLOL. I was shouting random shit like HAZIQ HAVE MY BABIES WHY YOU SO SEXAYE. Nice way to end the whole thing with Firefight and who else but Hubert on the guitar? So I was shouting SIGN MY CHEST HUBERT and he squeezed my chest. Right. Ended off the whole thing with Chan Poh Meng singing :'D and mass dance, which Jia Zhi, Chen Yi, Matthias and I didn't wanna do so we left :P Jia Zhi and I bought some drinks before going to lepak and wait for the other climbers, and we were all damn scared some teacher would see us drinking (To be fair mine was only 5%). When the rest came we all like walked around Singapore River and just had random shenanigans laughing at Jia Zhi, who Chen Yi kept saying was drunk. Obviously NOT, he's always like that retarded please. Jovan escorted Chen Yi home, so left Jas, Jia Zhi, Matthias and Marcus I went to Plaza Sing macs to have some supper and they played Monopoly Deal before we went home. At that point, I guess I found a new place to call home:) A really great way to end the year, made even better by wonderful people I met through it.
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
I shall not sigh sigh tonight. Although I find it kind of funny how Francine, Edwin and I all ended up in the same situation, but for some different reasons. Looking forward to meeting up with them again
So we had OP on Thursday. Something funny the day before was that I was the only one who had OP on Thursday and went for training on Wednesday :P Like I know Jas and Jovan had OP on Thursday also and they didn't come but I was just like: aiya not as if I'd do anything better with my time. LOL. After missing so many Friday trainings already, got pretty weak after a while. Had some trouble with the routes, but overall it was kinda okay lah I guess. Managed to get the dymo move after Nich talked to us about how we should do it. But was quite inconsistent with it so I think it was actually tyco hahahaha. Jovan tried that route today and he managed to get it :P Training today was suuuuper hiong omg. Not the training itself but the PT after that was whatttttt. Like it was super core everything wtf. Couldn't feel my abdomen after all the shit. Oh and each of us got a resistance band! It's damn cool and used for training to back muscles and stuff. Then MATTHIAS HAHAHA. Cos the resistance band is made out of rubber latex right, when we opened them first thing he said was "They smell like balloons" LOLOLOL. So that's it for trainings and stuff.
B
OKAY ACTUAL OP. Came to school much earlier in the morning so that we could sort out any last minute stuff and maybe practise a bit. Qi Min was ALREADY freaking out as usual. Shirlene a bit a bit. Ryan, Heer Tern and I were just chilling hahaha. Oh and Ryan's script was so memorable like almost everyone could remember the first part. "15%? 20%? 25%? Truth be told, household recycling rates are a HUMILIATING 13%, and that is a cause for concern." LOL. Crystal and Wei Xuan just went around saying that, and Ernest joined in also. Got a really nice surprise in that XIANG BIN was in the same classroom as me. Not only that, but MS HO was my assessor AWWW YISSSSS. Felt MUCH more at ease after that but it was still pretty scary to think about. During the break before our actual presentation Heer Tern and I just memorised out like random quotes from V for Vendetta hahahaha. VOILA! IN VIEW, A HUMBLE VAUDEVILLAIN VETERAN. When it came to our turn I guess we just "fuck it yoloswag"-ed that shit and did pretty well :) The Q&A had some hiccups but overall went quite nicely also. Lol when the teacher first gave me my question I asked for some time to think. Then he thought I asked for a repeat so he started saying the question again and all I could do was give the "wtf?" look hahaha. Took some retarded photos after that, but I'm just glad that PW's over. Now on to the serious stuff alr :/
W
Been in sort of a daze lately. I freaking forgot so much stuff just today lol. I knew though, what I was getting into. I guess I just wasn't prepared enough for how. I don't even know how to describe it lol. Everything just seems damn... blurry? And right now it feels like I'm holding this blob of glass and there's cracks appearing everywhere and you try to tape them up when they appear but they're appearing too fast and before you know it you're holding a bunch of shards. Holding remains. Holding the pieces. And it sucks cos you can't move anything without them stabbing into your fucking hands. Thing about bottling it up, the bottle cap tends to become a little rusty after a while. The funny thing is that this like some fucking comedy except there is no happy ending, it's real, damn, life. The pieces were all lined up I just never realised I could pull the trigger and now. Now everything's a "what if" and we all know how useless those are. The bullet's been shot by another and all you can do is watch it slice through the air. Amusing though how like sometimes it sinks in and sometimes it doesn't. And when I do realise the full extent of the truth it's like someone just kicked my knees in. But maybe I've come to accept it. And hey, I've dealt with so much disappointment already, what's one more eh. Time to pick myself from this. And move on.
I need to get this out and type something before I go mad. It's getting worse and worse wtf I thought it would get BETTER. I thought I thought goddamn wrong about this whole thing. It just feels like there wasn't an end. It wasn't a conclusion. But it was supposed to be, in a sense. No finality. No change, just a revelation. And this is what someone told me long ago. That yeah it hurts like a bitch but you take that shit and move the fuck on. Maybe I just need to wait for it to clear out first. Not thinking properly for a lot of things now. Or maybe I just need some sense of normalcy now. Because this isn't normal it feels so goddamn tense I swear. I need to clear this, and listen to someone who knows their shit. Everything is fucking swirling now I really don't know I don't know already. I feel like banging my head over and over against something lol. I'll just go talk to the Da Jie boss tomorrow or something and find out what the heck is going on. I hope I reach the day when I can not care as much but right now I simply can't.
Hey there old friend, sorry I haven't posted in a while. Need to dust you off more often before I forget you hahaha.
So last week we had Annual Camp plus Air Comp and stuff. Annual Camp first.
It started on Friday afternoon but I only went down in the evening. Can't remember why though, probably PW or something. Funny thing was that Zhi Ming keep asking me come, in the end he was the latest there. Reached around 6 then called him and he JUST WOKE UP LOL. More or less derped around the 2 classrooms they were having lectures in. Kinda sad to see the state of the unit. There was this guys sitting on a chair and taking notes using a table while everyome else was on the floor. The excuse being he had leg cramps. Since 3pm. To 6pm. Not sure whether to blame his idiocy or the NCOs' imcompetence or the goddamn parents. Haish. Xiang Bin came around dinner time so we went to the market there to eat. Zhi Ming met us there later then we went back to school afterwards. They still had lectures so we sat in. Bloody hell man that Joshua teaching aircraft recognition still blur also. While on the slide for the G550 still can ask me the "clarify" the Early Airborne Warning Aircraft used by RSAF lolwut. So yeah, that happened. Watched Zhi Ming play some DOTA before I left for home. Saturday evening, went to the market again for dinner. They were having tests so nothing much. When they went down for supper we practiced abit of flag drills, cos Zhi Ming and Ze Bin were applying for COC POP Ensigns. Did some retarded shit and PDS for a bit also hahaha. Debriefed the NCOs after that, and talked quite a bit with them about the unit. Sigh, actually a lot of the problems is cos of the retarded CCA HOD. Fucking biased and no idea what he's doing. Because of him a lot of the placements for CCA screwed up, and coupled with the IP system, no one has any real incentive to turn up for training. Oh well. Watched White House Down that night till about 2plus. Damn funny cos Ze Bin was like "Eh stay up the whole night la" then land up Xiang Bin and I were the sole survivors. Went for a quick bunk check before we went to sleep. Woke up the next morning to take PT. Wah honestly sia, their physical standard after a year can die one. The sec 1s cant even do 10 standard holy shiet. Went home to get ready for church around 7plus. Overall, kind of okay camp I guess. Could have been worse, but it was definitely not up to standards. Sigh, seems like the unit is dying. And to be honest, I'm wiping my hands clean of this soon already.
Moving on to Air Comp. Stayed in the previous night. Went in quite late cos I went to watch Vincent Gabriel and Sarah climb for National team selections. (Vince and Sarah got in haha super happy and proud of them). Had a super retarded time smuggling in Zhi Ming's laptop lol, but no one cared. Just sorted out most of the logistics stuff before we went to sleep. So the next day morning went quite well luh I guess. Met the external judge who was helping me (didn't really like him but he was okay la). Everything was going smoothly - we were ahead of schedule - until the DCs decided to be anal about the AI. So cos of that, we had to go a second round for both Part As and Bs. And it was damn hot outside so I became super black lol. Had lunch and stuff before we tried to wrap things up (Omg I miss the canteen chicken damn shiokkkk). The last thing for the day was the 1m for Part C limbo. I was damn bored so I decided to give some retarded live commentary. It was freakinggggg winddyyyyy but Joshua managed to clear the bar holy shietttt (I think half-tyco though). Then it started freaking pouring so we moved everyone into the MPH and just closed up with what we could. We finished up the rest of the limbo the next morning. All the COs decided to completely reset everything so Joshua lost his score. In the end, North View won the category, and took 2nd place over our 3rd cos of that. Sigh. To be honest I thought that it shouldn't be up to the TOs to decide how the competition to be run. Even Danial thought it would have been fair to let Joshua keep his score. But oh well, what's done is done. Might feedback to the DC that they should lower the weightage for Part C. And that kinda concluded Air Comp 2013.
Come on, come on, turn a little faster. Come on, come on, the world will follow after.
Well I guess it's only starting to sink in now. But there's nothing much more to say I think, not that it really matters. I'm just happy I got all of what I wanted to say out. And the retention of hope, keeps most people going. So maybe yes, I'll try. As long as you're happy:) And although it's 2 different things, I think it still applies, that it's proved in the letting go.
Well it seems like it since my last post. Meh, not much to update besides promos but updating isn't the only thing.
When it's not worth dying for
I beg to differ, whatever it is. ANYWAY. So promos was the burden of my life for like a week and a half. Glad that it's over now but I have Air Comp to organise and PW (especially OP and I&R now) oh man WHY SCHOOL WHY LIFE WHY. WELL... promo results so far has been pretty okay. Passed most my shit except Econs, but that was to be expected anyways. Lit, as usual, is taking a hella long time to come back. Not really sure what to expect, but I hope I pass well enough, or at least maintain the D I got from mid years. Only disappointment came from GP. Screwed up my compre pretty badly (think cos I was a a bit tired couldn't really sleep the night before, but that's no excuse). Compo did "better" but I think I could have done a lot better for that actually. So, nothing much from GP. Felt more relieved that I passed Math and Physics (More so Maths). Could have done better for Physics I think, but I got the mark I deserved. Just glad I don't think I need to retain. Re-paper for Econs sua.
Back to training for climbing now. Think I'm improving so kind of satisfied with that. Managed complete 2 and a half leads one training. Tried the super hard yellow route but couldn't even get past the 3rd clip LOL. Hope I can try again tomorrow and go to maybe the 6th clip. MUST CONQUER THAT SHIT. On a side note, David helped me buy SC2 hehe. I don't even have motivation to climb to Gold elo what is this. SC2 too distracting. Still love the RTS genre after all these years and I think SC2 sounds like a fun alternative to League now :) Though still hoping for that Elise skin hahaha. Looking forward to getting better. Think I play too conservatively. Jian Hui's learning pretty fast, and I got destroyed cos he actually built a barracks in my base and I didn't realise LOL.
After so long, it was nice I guess. To "catch up"(?). Idk, just felt like quite a while. I think I get it luh. I hope it's not really like the trusting, but that others can solve the problem better. Aha. Got it. Even so, it's pretty hard to just sit by. But as long as everything turns out okay... :)
Good Night
PS. (Your turn don't forget LOL)
Wanna mean it when I say it Can you hear me at all?
Another reflective post I guess. Cos it just came to my mind one day. Revision update though. Just more or less finished Lit, maybe need to Sparknotes Othello (screw that text) but Waterland is about done. Mathssss I THINK I have a chance. Left the later topics and once more shd be fine. Physics need to do earlier topics and read though everything agn then I think can. Econs... read through again, seeing as I've sorta finished before. But I have a prettyyyy bad feeling about this. God I hate myself so much right now
So yeah the thing that was in my head one day was that you know how everyone seems to ask "What do you want to be when you grow up" and people always reply with what they want to DO when they grow up. It's kind of boggling actually, how we always say what we want to DO when we grow up instead of what we want to BE. Do you want to be a good person? Or we always define someone by what they've done. A pilot, a lawyer, you know. But when I think of it, it's funny how my mind always inevitably drifts to. You know how it is sigh. I want. To. Be. Happy. To have courage. Meh, okay this is starting to sound super cringe-y so I'll stop here. But hey, that's basically the essence of what ran through my mind that day. And yeah this is repeating myself but as bad as it sounds and as IMMATURE as I know it is sometimes I really wish something bad would happen to me just so I could have a reason to do something about this. And like, I really don't know how. As in, I know what to do but why am I still SO SO goddamn irritated over this. And FUCK MY LIFE I KEPT THINKING PROMOS STARTED ON WEDNESDAY. IT'S TOMORROW OHGOD WHAT HAVE I DONE. But I think I still have time it's ok it's ok. God I really need to talk to someone now. Ok God. Good. Tomorrow morning.
Sorry for all the short posts lately. Lol nvm I'm not sure who still reads this anyway. Will post about promos... well after promos...
Sigh, been a while since I last posted. Quite a bit's happened but nothing of importance lately really. Just some things I need to get off my chest. Exam prep still going pretty slowly. Realised that since I slept through a lot of the earlier part of the year, the topics they did then I really damn noob especially for maths. My inequalities and functions are pretty weak. Then there's still the problem of later topics which, though I kinda sorta understand, are alr hard themselves. Physics is still okay except for superposition which just sucks balls. Need to go through earlier topics again as well. Lit is well... lit lol. And econs I've more or less covered the syllabus, but need to read through one more time. All in all, meh :P
Onwards
I guess maybe after a while you just got bored. Or something. All I know is that it used to be happier. I still remember you know. When it was nice to be dependable. Fuck. There's a lot running through my head now and I have NO IDEA how the FUCK to get it out ohgod. Normally I just put it in words and there was never a problem fuck this shit. Just so, so, so disappointed. Again and again. And I'm not saying that you can't accept stuff but like, to me it just seems being nice gets taken advantage of all the time because in the end nobody cares innit? And words, in the end, are just words. You say something and tell something but it doesn't. Really. If you mean it them I apologise. But it's odd cos every time I was the only one left after something bad happened, I hoped and prayed and wished. And tried. To make it better. To soften the shitty blow dealt. Or even if there was nothing, it was nice to be reassuring sometimes. But whatever. Because even though I just burned it was nothing. Not even a simple word. Too busy saying good bye. Then again, I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong, that it was just a change in circumstances. But I know that now, whether it matters to you? Nah. I've just ceased to be anything of interest again eesh. But I think that no, I'm not going to give up. The funny thing is that 5 years ago I was always looking for the approval of others. And I told myself never. I won't be subject to others again. But this time. So no, I'm not going to wallow. I'll just learn to accept the disappointment as it comes and when it eventually culminates... well I can't say I wasn't expecting it. I hope maybe one day you'll realise as well that maybe it's better to at least show something :P
Good Night
Just put up a middle finger to the sky Let them know we’re still rock ‘n roll
Heh, writing this over the course of a few days in school. People still think I'm writing an essay or something. Writing it down on paper feels so much more therapeutic than typing it down. Feels just that bit more. Human. Kinda important to hold on to something before you become dead inside.
Last Friday, wasn't climbing so went back to training with Ze Bin. Ian was already there :P Speaking of climbing, I've been suspended from our "weekly recreational climbs" lol. By the time we reached sch already they had finished PT and shit already so we just derped around,and Zhi Ming came later. Sad to see the decline in the state of the unit. Standards going down, discipline like cui, protocol not followed. Sheesh. One cadet even "Okay can"-ed me while I was pumping him. Got damn irritated by the Part As cos some of them ponned, and gave freaking stupid excuses. "Got test on Monday need study" (Seriously who studies 3 days in advance in Sec 1), "Got project to do over the weekend" (Sec 1 what bullshit project man). Like honestly, even if they weren't lying, it's still a stupid-ass excuse. You're expected to be able to juggle your responsibilities like seriously sec 1 how hard can it get. It's not even streaming year. 4hrs less studying on a Friday really won't make much diff. The worst part is that, we can't do anything cos of the goddamn parents. I was willing to give a chance to them even though everyone keeps saying what "Strawberry generation". But when I hear from the NCOs what was going on its really damn irritating. WE can't do anything without them complaining to their parents. Like wtf man. After that we met Lucas and went to the prata place at Thomson to eat dinner. Xiang Bin freaking ran from Bishan to there lol. Had a good time chatting and went to Udders after that hahaha :D Lucas ordered this Earl Grey/Green Tea double-scoop, which tasted kind of weird. Yeah, talked a lot (especially about The Conjuring which Lucas watched the other day). Good way to end a crappy week:)
Aish, the things I should have said that time on the way back. Maybe another time.
Last saturday was phase 2 of mod specs. Was the PC again, for Bravo , and Nabil was my APC lol. Nothing much, pretty normal I guess. Chionged finish the tests like the previous phase. Though at one point Nabil got damn pissed off at one guy cos he started before the timing and kept denying it. Then Nabil was like "He probably hates me now... GOOD". LOLOLOL. So we finish up the tests and then talked cock to our own platoons for a bit. I asked Ze Bin if we could switch platoons for awhile so I just like entertained them for a bit. Then one of them asked me if ZB had a girlfriend so I replied "No but he's a pimp" HAHAHAHA and she looked damn confused cos she didn't know what it meant and I was super amused. Apparently my platoon said I was damn talkative (I just didn't want them to get bored). The funny part of the day was marking all the papers and seeing one stupid answer after another LOL. But after a while it got pretty irritating cos I realised no one cared and setting the goddamn paper was a waste of time. Dinnered at KFC after that and went home.
Sigh... Need to talk to a lot of people but I don't know how to approach them. Whether they'll take me seriously/suddenly view me differently. Haish, it's intimidating. But for one, it has to be done. Not sure if they'd do the same for me, but it's my own belief that certain people have the right to know. And realising I'm pretty hypocritical. I keep talking about personal responsibility yet in this case I keep pushing away the blame. And I get super irritated over something that is my own fault. Time to grow some goddamn balls and realise that if you want to do something you can't always expect someone else to start it for you. Lol after all these stupid posts I think people are starting to get an inkling. But for now, I'll just be in the dark as well.
So Boulderactive was kinda retarded lol. Thinking about it, the routes were relatively easy. But I blanked out a lot at the start, so wasted a lot of time/attempts. But all in all, it was really quite fun :D The experience was pretty nice too, though we didn't do well. Just for fun anyways, hopefully can learn more from this and plan better for Gravical. The only thing I didn't like was the flash format they used cos there really wasn't a lot of time. Oh and and and I saw Ma'am Angela there!!! It was so cool haven't seen her in AGES plus she's leaving ohgosh I'm gonna miss her :( Damn respect for her cos she also went for Hair For Hope even though she like damn zilian HAHAHAHA but its k its the inside that counts. All the best ma'am! :D
If this was a movie you'd be here by now
Wandered off again that day even though I told myself I wouldn't. So tired. So tired of it all. Even though I dread it I sort of hope that day comes faster. And then when everything is settled I hope I feel better about it. For some reason I find it damn amusing that I'm preparing myself so much for it even though it probably doesn't make any difference anyway. Maybe years down I'll look back at the me now and ask "Was it all worth it? To drain yourself. To spend the night awake and thinking. And finally realising that it won't happen?" And I guess my answer to future me would be "Yes". Because I don't want to spend my life regretting. Because if God forbid something happened I would never forgive myself for not doing what I could have done. And in this I also realise how similar both of you are. Someone mentioned something about testing your limits. And though this isn't fully accurate I guess its true in both cases to a certain extent. Maybe all anyone searches for is just a sense of reassurance that's all. But is it worth to split yourself up so much just for that? Jack of all trades but master of none. I rmb saying something about having a supersoldier instead of an army of incompetence and that still holds true. Why try so hard for so many people, you're just gonna wear yourself out? I guess I'm speaking to both of you, even one makes more of a difference anyway. If you can't prioritise then just tell me I'll effing take it. I'm trying more than once. I understand okay, I get it. At least say you can't be bothered. Not angry, just disappointed, which I hoped never to be. A punching bag nevermind, even after all those and some simple listening back isn't enough? But sokay that's the whole meaning of unconditional isn't it? Been a tissue paper before, can be one again. Just know the alienation of not concentrating.
At least this is a short week, maybe can relax AND go LAN possibly. Finally Silver 5 after my 4th promo series.
Wrote this down in my foolscap on Thursday but posting it now :P
You know how sometimes you feel like you mean something. It reminds me of this Reddit thread I read once. One of the comments was that "No matter how special you think you are, in the end you are no more different from the billions of people out there. That you are not, in fact, unique, just another person hoping for the best. And that after you die, nobody will remember you in a few years, and nobody will care." It was in reply to a thread on the hard truths that most people don't realise. I'm paraphrasing, but that was the general idea. How insignificant we all are, a speck of nothingness on the cosmic scale. To cease to exist one day and the change in the universe is no more different than an extra grain of sand washed off the beach into the ocean. Sounds pretty depressing/pessimistic but that's not the point I think. I guess all that I'm trying to say is that it sorta applies to a lot of things now, the important things at least. One tends to believe that you matter so much when in fact all you're doing is just joining the queue sometimes. Maybe it's just back to square one. I was kind of jokingly suggesting that instance, but I also knew it was gonna happen anyway. I'm more disappointed that the question was avoided, like you believed I can't handle it? And also maybe its too much to hope to consider myself for it too.
Boulderactive is (technically) and I'm definitely not prepared for it. The team I'm going with is Joey and Cheng Hong. Right now I'm the weakest out of all of us. My endurance now is really quite cui. The comp starts at 7.15 at freaking Suntec City ugh. Have to wake up damn early on a Sunday morning T.T Oh well, just going for the experience anyways, but I hope I don't let them down. After this, time to concentrate on promos. Even Nigel is getting his shit together lol :P
Went to watch Wolverine today with David, Jian Hui, Manfred and Ke Shang. Went all the way to NP just to meet them first lol. Stoned at the track and Elena came over hehe :D I guess Wolverine was okay. Like, the plot itself wasn't too bad, but in the overall scheme of things it was pretty random. The fight scenes were pretty cool though :P
Aish
Tomorrow, tomorrow you close your eyes. You pretend nothing is going on even though it'll be glaringly obvious. I once made myself a promise to never wish for the misfortune of others. So tomorrow, you keep quiet. You be happy because others are happy. Because you're too much of an idiot to say what you think, to the point nobody cares about it anyway. And though every single thing I've said so far is true, it doesn't change the fact that I hope the reason why is not because of anything or anyone else.
Good Night
Remembering this song again:)
She fell in love with someone else and thatShe fell in love with someone and that's all that I know for sure
Well last Friday was awards night or something. Chionged back home to bathe first after training then went to school. There was supposed to be a rehearsal before the actual thing but I guess they just scrapped it :P Found SavingPrivateZhiMing and we were just more or less derping around and eating the food (we finished one basket of chips lol). Just talked and met up with other peeps like Daniel and Edwin. Saw Amanda Yap and wanted to go over to say hi but she left after I went around to find other people :( Oh well... So yeah, just talk cock for damn long before the actual thing started. The ceremony itself wasn't that interesting to be honest. Mr Lee was rambling on about Singapore's economy for like 15mins lol. Didn't get the relevance. Ze Bin was even sleeping LOL. Pretty uneventful overall. I think I prefer our service award though cos it was a plaque which was quite nice :D Felt a bit weird though. Receiving service award but everyone else in the hall were overachievers LOL. What top in English lah, 10A1s lah, English and HCL both A1 there... :P But, I'm still happy to be recognised, you don't get that everyday :) Collected photos plus went around taking a few before we left for home to get our stuff to book in. So yay, was a happy day in a sense, got to catch up (love it) with some bros and enjoy myself for a bit.
Booked in for modular Specs the next day. I was suddenly feeling extra nice for some reason (no idea why), felt kinda sorry for the NSFs doing weekend guard duty so I offered them my gobstoppers :D But they didn't want any :( They looked at me like I was a bit siao, so I turned to zebin and said "They think i siao one!" in front of them LOL. Which PROBABLY made them question my sanity even further. OH WELL. Zebin wanted to fly that night but we were all pretty tired so didn't in the end. Spent a bit stapling all the test papers together, and afterwards I folded a few paper origami owls before going to sleep :P Wanted to sleep in the admin room but the electricity kept going out so...
Mod Specs was quite hiong cos we were rushing to finish everything earlier and within the day too. Morning just normal in-processing and shit. Got told off for Iqbal for my hair. To be fair though, its not THAT long its just hella thick. Didn't really have the chance to go cut too since I was sick the previous 2/3 days. Nothing much for Specs since we were just running around so nothing that eventful happened. Nabil won the OIC election. To be honest I was supporting Zhan Jiang, but I guess in a lot of cases other factors come into play :( GGWP. Was freaking shagged after Specs. Went to Naked Fish with ZB, ZM and GAR WEI after that for dinner. After that had tauhuay out before going home:)
Felt kinda shitty the past few days. Really disappointed in a lot of people. Thought I was having some mental breakdown or shit. Definitely felt pretty weird at that point in time, but I've come to terms with it I guess. Everyone hides their own demons. But the thing I took away from all that, strangely, was to make me realise how I grateful and thankful I am to know those that actually matter to me :)
Good Night.
Maybe he won't find out but I will
You were the last good thing about this part of town
So last Saturday was NCCDP. Feels kinda serene to be blogging about it this year when I remember blogging about it 2 years ago too. OMG YA. Shit it's been 2 years already since the good old days T.T I really miss Sec 3 life. SIGH. And yeah, had to report in the morning around 8-ish? Felt very meh about it but oh well. The whole day wasn't really anything much lah actually. Come to HQ already just set up most of the stuff and just fly lor... Mostly did the flypast and shits and spent the rest of the time either fixing up the kites/simulator retardedness/charging batteries. So yeah, pretty boring day actually. Up until the actual thing we were mostly just chilling around even with practice. THEN damn retarded. The actual flypast was kinda crappy cos we couldn't group up together properly after the launch. But then again, most people didn't really see past that point cos of the tentage so I guess SOMEHOW it worked out LOL. The landing after that was ok also too. But I think, the fan out would still have been nicer to execute though :P Oh well. My kite circuit got disconnected cos Nich accidentally pulled out a wire to disengage the battery so we all went back to the aero centre and waited while I fixed it up. What I didn't expect was for the parade to end EARLY. So there I am rushing everyone off to the MOC and DANIAL IS JUST CHILLING THERE LOL. The Parade IC CLT was calling me on my phone alr and I'm screaming at Danial to get his ass over to the MOC LOLOLOL. Too stressed already, my heart cannot take this chiong-ing if it happened every other day. Danial if you read this: _|_ Hahaha the finale went pretty good cos we attached the streamers and stuff! Really cool to fly with it. Though on the downside it wasn't that dark so the streamers weren't really used to full effect. But good performance overall. I find it kind of ironic that we put in the most hours for training but were given the least air time. Like, we didn't even get mentioned in the MC script LOL. But it's k, at least we flew well. OH and I went full derp mode AGAIN LOL. For some reason the GOH really likes to talk to the air knights (Cos we're the coolest of course). I rmb some toa pai in the previous NCCDP also walked by to talk to us but I thought we were in the way so I faster siam. SAME THING HAPPENED THIS YEAR LOL. The GOH came over to talk and I thought "Eh fuck my streamer still on the floor" and faster walk away to pull it off his path. Then he thought I was running away from him and had to call me back OMG SO FUCKING PAISEH UGH. After the parade flew for a bit more and took photos :D Packed up, said goodbye to the aerocentre (Like after affirm LOL) and left for dinner with Arif, Dean, Bodiloke and Danial.
Went out with Francine and Edwin yesterday evening. Haven't seen them for so long, felt nice to catch up again. We were supposed to watch movie but ended up dinner-ing for so long at Skinny Pizza (OH YEAH) so we decided to just go to Starbucks and lepak. Ended up chatting about a lot of stuff and getting some life lessons from the guru herself. Was really good to listen to another objective opinion and also to pour out a lot of it person to person. On the train back also, just decided to let all my shit out and. I don't know, it just felt so LIBERATING. After letting it eat away for so long and finally you just have someone listening and advising. And the fact that no one that actually affects the outcome KNOWS. Feels free. And also learning that yes, not everything goes ideally. Yes, there might always be a fuck up. But the worst thing of all is to wonder to yourself "What if I had done something differently". Right there and then, knowing that it was time to stop this self-inflicted irriation and learning to deal with the situation at hand. Made me remember the important things to me too, and I guess I'd just wanna say thanks for that.
A short one because I really shouldn't be up at this time. Just really need to clear this shit out from my system. It's 1.50 as of posting this and I'll probably die in school tomorrow but fuck it. Oddly, the one time it hasn't happened when I'm blogging, but I guess for today it's understandable. Was hoping I'd have some.
A desolate wasteland
I don't know what's right to feel and what's wrong anymore. I get so, so fucking irritated and I know how irrational it is. It's bordering on childish jealousy. To throw such a stupid mental tantrum is just really, really stupid. And it's just so fucking, really fucking just. I can't just keep pretending can I. When I pretend that I never see anything all the time. And even though I know, I KNOW. I can't even say anything because it just sounds like some bloody stupid thing out of a goddamn book. Ok need to stop cursing so much. But yeah, the point being that, I go on the pretext of just playing the fool. And then reality hits and I know, but I put on this, this mask, and smile and laugh and just. But it really is foolish. This, belief that maybe there is a fairytale story out there. That sometimes miracles happen and everything you wish comes true. Yes it happens sometimes. But not for things like this. Never for things that can't be forced. That even if the truth is revealed, doesn't change much. If the outcome is favourable then yay all is good. But if reality is chosen, then what can one do but wallow and face the facts? Time to grow up. Time to know that all the effort in the world won't change the outcome. That no matter what I can never measure up. Just looking at the dubbing of one versus the other, you can tell. That there will always be a disparity and different ways of being viewed. And if what I suspect is true then all the more. Promises don't always work. And if this, muddle-ness is cos of. Other things that weigh on the emotion and not the tangible, then never mind then. Such a fucking nuisance
Realising I actually really like Graham Swift's style of writing.
Proper post another time. Just clearing tonight.
Good Night
But if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?
Great catching up session with Joshua today, but not gonna talk much about that.
Just found out today too that Cory Monteith passed away. Wasn't much of Glee person but he really gave the impression of being a genuinely good person. Time to learn. Live to love and love to live. Really makes you think of life. And the only reason why I would do something so outrageously stupid and risky. But this, this. I wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise.
And everyone just. Just so much sadness and confusion. And to help all. Yes, friends are family. But who watches the Watchmen?
I guess it's just really more of trudging. And I keep running the possibilities, the scene in my head. How in a fantasy world, a disconcerting parallel reality, I come out the winner. And I wouldn't think of it even as winning. It's not even winning something, it's about. Happyness. About coming out of that situation smiling because for once maybe I had to guts to do something about this clawing away inside. But that's all smoke and mirrors innit. A fantasy. A childish fantasy. And maybe I delude myself by thinking that this is really what it's supposed to feel like. This constant nagging at the very core of your being. Of impending failure. That maybe if I showed how much it means it might change something. Or that this is the one. Thing that actually matters anymore. Like out of everything. Out of all this shit. That maybe this one thing is actually worth it? I don't know anymore. Still. A child's thinking and a child's wish. Nothing more. Because reality is different. And people break things all the time right? So why should anything personal be any different. The only outcome, the only possibility, ends in tatters. Ends in either the extremity of desolation or a compromise. That even if there is the compromise, it would still suck, because. The dangling carrot. The worm on the hook. I remember explaining it before. And why. I just hope I don't become one of them. The ones who were condemned to an eternity of just there. And sometimes I feel like you know. Come to think of it, you do realise. This position of pseudo-power that you hold. Because human emotion is fickle. And the sway one holds. Maybe you unconsciously do it. Self-affirmation. And maybe all it achieves in the end is someone else's destruction. But people move on too.
Time to join the crowd
Actually reminds me of how similar you two are. Though to be honest, it's much more conscious in one rather than the other. Maybe years, months ago I would have asked for your opinion. Your advice. And even if you weren't sure of an answer, I'd understand. Now you're just a shadow. Going around with your head in the clouds. And I know. Even you don't understand this. You don't understand WHY. Now, you'd give me an annoyed reaction because you wouldn't understand. So never mind then. Mentioned before, but it's really ironic that the one solution now is the whole problem.
It kinda is unfair though. To purposely denounce you mentally just so I have a reason to stop being so. fucking. childishly. hopeful.
So Homecoming was last Saturday. I thought everyone would be going early so I told myself to wake up early. Should have noticed that no one else was like "Eh Jon Chew I meet you" but blur me is blur. Was intending to reach school at around 8 plus? Woke up at that time in the end. And I was STILL the earliest person there LOL. Ended up just stoning around at the bus stop waiting for Jian Hui and Manfred to arrive. Came already and we went in, met up with the rest. Just started asking around about each other and chatting in general. Ian and Skumbag Jia Zhi came later also so we derped around before the class decided to start walking around to find things to do. Saw Mrs Lim Seah, Mr Thomas, and Mr Fernandez :D Too bad Mr Quay went into hiding or something. Edwin came later in this SUPER tight Superman tee shirt and everyone who saw was just commenting on it lololol. Come to think of it, Homecoming itself wasn't that fun. Like, I guess from an outsider perspective there isn't really much to do. The games aren't really that enticing, and the food is kinda leychey to eat too. There was one stall selling tee shirts too o.O Wtf hahahahaha. It's probably more entertaining to be manning the stalls luh. The rest went to collect their yearbooks and shit, then had lunch. Followed them after I collected Ernest's tee shirt and finished spending all the coupons. After lunch we were sitting around and talking/playing Fun Run (I was destroying them), then Lin Jing happened to be there also hahaha. So cool, hardly see the AGLs around school much already :P So overall the Homecoming wasn't really as FUN as I thought it would be, but it was still really great to catch up with the rest and really just have a good time together as a class again :) It's these people that I hope I never lose and never forget
公教！
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
SO we got some of our CT results back already. COUGH COUGH COUGH. HAKKKKKKKK. Safe to say I'm not going to get Sec 4-ish grades anytime soon. Like Maths came back and at first I was pretty okay with it. I was prepared to get a super bad fail alr. Then I realised WHY THE FUCK AM I SO CONTENT WITH SUCH A RETARD MARK. Especially after seeing people like Shirlene get an A wtf. And she can still complain and say "Maths isn't anything to be proud of". If I didn't know her better I'd feel like punching her, but she's just like that LOL. Even after Heer Tern and me talked to her to stop her from freaking out she was well, STILL FREAKING OUT. So we just sua-ed and continued talking about random stuff :'D Physics though. PHYSICS. SUCH a disappointment. Thought I would be able to at least pass rather decently. Come back. Aish. MY ROCK. MY PILLAR. MY CORNERSTONE. YOU HAVE DESERTED ME. Sian. Really know I should have done better. That face that the class did badly for Physics too isn't much of a consolation either, because in the end they thrashed me in Maths anyway. I'm more disappointed in the fact I did so badly in relation to the class rather than my own marks itself.. Sua luh. 只能靠 Econs and GP! (Oh the sad irony)
Sigh
It seems stupid to want to wallow in peace but just as I was about to go off on a rant...
Kinda late, and not really feeling all well. Time to sleep, another day I guess.
Not really in the mood but I'll post anyways cos if not I'm just gonna procrastinate and never get this post done and everything'll pile up into one long ass post that no one would bother to read anyway *gasp for breath* See how long that sentence was.
Ok so not much happened since the last post. Well quite a few shits happened so okay, first. The stupid haze. Come to think of it now it actually DID bring some form of entertainment seeing all the haze-related shit online but the bad part was they freaking cancelled all the HQ activities in the last week. So we didn't get ANY Air Knights trainings, BAWC got postponed AGAIN, and Spec Course had to be cancelled and put into a modular format. Wtf was that I can't even. I think there's some curse on aeromod this year or something. Would rant more about it but I've said it so many time even I am getting sick of it. Sua lah sua lah. Tried to use that week to chiong for CTs but I think we all know how that was going to turn out. Still, I did manage to get SOME work done so it wasn't a complete waste. You could say it was ALMOST a complete waste of a whole week. Basically spent the whole week complaining about how dead I was without actually doing anything about it. I am like, procrastination embodied.
So yeah, CT roll around and here I am. I know that feeling. It is the feeling of impending failure. The feeling of wielding a branch against an army of tanks. The feeling of being covered in dynamite while waiting for the fuse to go. #Litdescriptions So yeah, first paper was physics. Love the subject, went in feeling pretty okay actually cos I thought I would manage to scrape out something. Paper starts, went pretty okay I guess. Managed to get slightly further than I expected actually, but still, wasn't the best I could do. Though you could say that would apply to everything else as well. Still, it's the only paper along with GP i think I can pass. Think. Next day is Econs and GP and Econs turns out to be pretty okay actually, except that I spend too much time on the first section. I was taking like 10 mins and writing like 6 lines for a 1 marks question LOL. In the end didn't really have much time to complete but I think there's still a chance I can pass. GP was the only one without any major hiccups. Managed to finish everything reasonably. I think the compre was actually really meaningful. It talked about how nowadays we're always not conversing but rather simply conversing. I admit of being guilty of it and it's really given some food for thought. And honestly I'd rather have a short, meaningful and heartfelt genuine conversation over a long "connection" that is just filled with abbreviated nothingness. Time to look up indeed. Wednesday was Maths. So laughably unprepared. The worst thing was that I didn't finish a lot of questions I knew how to do. Ah well, tryna forget about it. Lit was, so bipolar. PC was much easier than expected, but Waterland and Othello was just like, dafaq? Wanted to keep to the time so I left out the last point and conclusion for both PC and Waterland to move on to Othello. About halfway through I realise that I am not writing anything useful and decide to finish up my PC and Waterland. As I am halfway through that, I realise I know what to write for Othello. "Time's up". On the bright side, even Michelle couldn't finish much. Crystal was a fucking beast though. And Nigel was just, sad LOL.
Just found out that Toyz is retiring from E-sports and Stanley is leaving TPA. For some reason I'm really, really damn sad about this. I guess it's cos TPA were the ones that brought a lot recognition to the SEA region. Even supporting SGS when they were against TPA in the GPL. I don't know, but I was damn fucking proud of them when they won the S2 Championship. It's like, I'm supporting something I can identify with. They did not only Taiwan proud, but the whole of SEA. I still remember telling Jian Hui, in reference to the final, that TPA was gonna destroy Azubu Frost. And destroy them in the final they did. And the recounts of Stanley and Toyz on that moment, when Toyz almost cried. The feels now erghhhhhh. In any case, wishing Toyz and Stanley all the best. Thank you for doing so much for SEA E-sports, you will always be remembered Toyz :') GGWP
