Long bus rides (alone) are the worst.
Spent the weekend in Malaysia with the climbers. Went to KL to experience "Asia's largest indoor gym" and I guess it kinda lives up to the name? Camp 5 was pretty great, although it was only a short trip for me. Currently on course so I couldn't take leave to extend the trip with the rest. I wonder what it is that makes me feel so happy with them. Maybe it's just because I can be myself. Cliche as that sounds, it does seem to answer the question. At the end of the day, I'm just a goofball that wants to do stupid shit, and they're perfectly okay with it. Thank you God for sending me their way, because I don't know what I'd do without them.
As mentioned, I had to leave KL yesterday afternoon. As it turns out, that was the exact same plan of probably half the damn city. Bus was delayed by about 1.5 hours so I spent some of it chatting with the ah pek and another guy who were also due for SG. Thankfully the bus ride was pretty short all things considered. Hit the checkpoint in about 5 hours, though it took me another 2-3 hours to actually clear customs.
I think it's, the thinking that gets to you first. A perverse oscillation between mind-numbing boredom and the accumulation of negative thoughts that hits you all at once at its peak, like a fistful of sadness and loneliness. Theres only so much of the scenery that can change. Only so many rest stops to get off at and wash your face. To watch the sky grow darker without seeing the sun set at all, that sometimes the end is just the end, and that not everybody gets to see its beauty. And I realise the sick complacency and assumption that I was viewed in a certain way, that what I was considering was for other people's good rather than what was in fact my own interests. That spiralling into this state of mind was a result of some underlying issues that I've never wanted to acknowledge. In some way, it still holds true that it isn't fair, but in this case I guess the party in question is probably not me.
Nice.
Good Night
Picture it now, down the road
Oh just say the word and I'll go
