SCYSF

So close yet so far...

Sigh exam week feels like a disaster. Everything just feels like it's falling apart. SS study all the essays, land up no time do SBQ. Combine Humans gone case already. And for the first time I'm worried about my English. Can't help thinking that my essay might be out if point. Wasn't thinking when I wrote it. I tend to get too engrossed while writing... and I thought I could pass Chinese this term. Paper 2 sure shattered that hope. Looks like I'll be expecting to see Si Ern and the rest next year during Chinese lesson. Sciences went weirdly I guess. Don't know whether to laugh or cry... I guess it won't be too much to wish for an B3. No mood for A Maths and Lit anymore.

I think the stress is getting to me.

And you. You seem like a total stranger now. And it's not your fault, but sometimes I can't help thinking you could put in some effort, instead of staring and being unresponsive. You were the best, the favoured, the most skilled, and now everyone's lost you. But no one cares now do they? Because power changes. You don't become selfish, just uncaring. Cliques form within cliques. And you're not the only one who seems like a stranger now. The one person I seem to be able to count on is somewhat close to someone I wouldn't prefer. I can't help but think if you're just an unwitting spy.

Agh I can't keep concentration. My mind seems to be slipping away from my body everyday. Just tired of everything. Even the thought of exams doesn't evoke anything.

So alike, yet you mind as well be light years away, because I'll never get the chance to....

Good Night

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EOY Day 1

Am I staying only cos of guilt?

Haha today's papers were English 1 and History. It went more or less according to plan. Although I'm quite scared for my compo. Write like 4.5 sides on ''Voice'', then realised I didn't have any clear main points. Landed up cramming all of them into my concluding paragraph. I have no idea how the proposal will end up, seeing as I slept through the last few English lessons where Mrs Tham was revising it. Oh well, still got paper 2 tomorrow. Counting on my summary to pull me up again. History went sorta fine. Then again, last term I felt it was ''fine'' also, and ended up with an A2. Bloody hell, hopefully my conclusions and C&C don't screw up. Worried for my militarism essay also. Wrote longer for benefits than harms, even though my conclusion decided harms. Haha Charlie damn sad. Mug only 2/18 essays, both never come out. According to him, he just wrote 4 lines for each essay question.

Shouldn't have eaten so much chips the last few days. Now have stoopid sore throat and mild fever earlier today. Pfft.

I'm supposed to be mugging Physics, but definitions+formulas=braindead. I'll probably cram everything in tmr morning as usual. Double pffft. Hoping for at least a B... and not only cos my parents will scold me :/

Went to my grandaunty's wake today, brought my physics notes along. In the end, all the info cannot retain, so I gave up. During the prayers, I couldn't help thinking about who would attend MY wake... I'd probably also put something stupid in my will, like that nobody was allowed to cry over my death. That is, if anyone cries at all :P pfft.

Would you? Even now I can't decide if I would hope desperately that you'd come. Would I?

Sigh... onwards till the end of EOYs!

Minimal distractions. That includes you, emotions. Behave, so I can concentrate :D

Good Night

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