Well school's out and I do feel relieved, which fucking scares me. I should be shitting my pants because now I'm supposed to be moving into a library, setting up a tent and studying like it's going to save my miserable life. But I'm not afraid now, and it almost seems as if I can't even give a shit about school now. Then again, maybe I'm just glad that I don't have to tolerate Alex Lum's shit anymore. Oh Alex Lum, my dearest and most favourite teacher, who I have to see 2 times a week, including a 2 hour stretch on Wednesday. I swear, it was getting better. He actually noticed me trying, until BAM parent teacher meeting. Now he won't get off my fucking back about me playing games. Relavant GIF I really don't understand him. I'm trying, I really am, but his fucking passive aggressiveness makes me want to punch a puppy in the mouth. I swear the only reason why he says stuff is so that he can tell you "I told you so" later on.
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
Plus now I'm finding out how much of a bitch I am. Can't believe I tolerated your shit for so fucking long. Maybe I'm just overthinking, but then again everyone's the same. You're just as insecure as everyone else, you just mask it behind this air of knowing what you want. And even as much as you call out others on their hypocrisy, you're one of them too. This license you give yourself to rag on people infuriates me, but I can't call you out because then you'll just rant on. And the saddest part is that you're just nice to the people who're like you (in a sense), and everyone thinks your shenanigans are hilarious just because you don't conform to everyone. But being obnoxious includes every kind of person, and I found that out when you became bored once. I really do think I'm overthinking this, because hey I've known you for relatively long. But it still makes me feel like shit sometimes because I'm like a punching bag. Shishhh, and I know even after I've figured this out, I'll just continue putting myself under your thumb because I'd feel bad.
Whatever
Feel like I have some closure now though. Kinda recognise some awkardness after that time, but maybe just cause nothing's happened in between for so long. Feel more comfortable now I think, since I've moved past it.
On the bright side, I finally have a new blog to read :)
Good Night
Such a heavenly view
