Glass

Y

So we had OP on Thursday. Something funny the day before was that I was the only one who had OP on Thursday and went for training on Wednesday :P Like I know Jas and Jovan had OP on Thursday also and they didn't come but I was just like: aiya not as if I'd do anything better with my time. LOL. After missing so many Friday trainings already, got pretty weak after a while. Had some trouble with the routes, but overall it was kinda okay lah I guess. Managed to get the dymo move after Nich talked to us about how we should do it. But was quite inconsistent with it so I think it was actually tyco hahahaha. Jovan tried that route today and he managed to get it :P Training today was suuuuper hiong omg. Not the training itself but the PT after that was whatttttt. Like it was super core everything wtf. Couldn't feel my abdomen after all the shit. Oh and each of us got a resistance band! It's damn cool and used for training to back muscles and stuff. Then MATTHIAS HAHAHA. Cos the resistance band is made out of rubber latex right, when we opened them first thing he said was "They smell like balloons" LOLOLOL. So that's it for trainings and stuff.

B

OKAY ACTUAL OP. Came to school much earlier in the morning so that we could sort out any last minute stuff and maybe practise a bit. Qi Min was ALREADY freaking out as usual. Shirlene a bit a bit. Ryan, Heer Tern and I were just chilling hahaha. Oh and Ryan's script was so memorable like almost everyone could remember the first part. "15%? 20%? 25%? Truth be told, household recycling rates are a HUMILIATING 13%, and that is a cause for concern." LOL. Crystal and Wei Xuan just went around saying that, and Ernest joined in also. Got a really nice surprise in that XIANG BIN was in the same classroom as me. Not only that, but MS HO was my assessor AWWW YISSSSS. Felt MUCH more at ease after that but it was still pretty scary to think about. During the break before our actual presentation Heer Tern and I just memorised out like random quotes from V for Vendetta hahahaha. VOILA! IN VIEW, A HUMBLE VAUDEVILLAIN VETERAN. When it came to our turn I guess we just "fuck it yoloswag"-ed that shit and did pretty well :) The Q&A had some hiccups but overall went quite nicely also. Lol when the teacher first gave me my question I asked for some time to think. Then he thought I asked for a repeat so he started saying the question again and all I could do was give the "wtf?" look hahaha. Took some retarded photos after that, but I'm just glad that PW's over. Now on to the serious stuff alr :/

W

Been in sort of a daze lately. I freaking forgot so much stuff just today lol. I knew though, what I was getting into. I guess I just wasn't prepared enough for how. I don't even know how to describe it lol. Everything just seems damn... blurry? And right now it feels like I'm holding this blob of glass and there's cracks appearing everywhere and you try to tape them up when they appear but they're appearing too fast and before you know it you're holding a bunch of shards. Holding remains. Holding the pieces. And it sucks cos you can't move anything without them stabbing into your fucking hands. Thing about bottling it up, the bottle cap tends to become a little rusty after a while. The funny thing is that this like some fucking comedy except there is no happy ending, it's real, damn, life. The pieces were all lined up I just never realised I could pull the trigger and now. Now everything's a "what if" and we all know how useless those are. The bullet's been shot by another and all you can do is watch it slice through the air. Amusing though how like sometimes it sinks in and sometimes it doesn't. And when I do realise the full extent of the truth it's like someone just kicked my knees in. But maybe I've come to accept it. And hey, I've dealt with so much disappointment already, what's one more eh. Time to pick myself from this. And move on.

Me

Good Night

Heard this during training today

I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

Everything

I need to get this out and type something before I go mad. It's getting worse and worse wtf I thought it would get BETTER. I thought I thought goddamn wrong about this whole thing. It just feels like there wasn't an end. It wasn't a conclusion. But it was supposed to be, in a sense. No finality. No change, just a revelation. And this is what someone told me long ago. That yeah it hurts like a bitch but you take that shit and move the fuck on. Maybe I just need to wait for it to clear out first. Not thinking properly for a lot of things now. Or maybe I just need some sense of normalcy now. Because this isn't normal it feels so goddamn tense I swear. I need to clear this, and listen to someone who knows their shit. Everything is fucking swirling now I really don't know I don't know already. I feel like banging my head over and over against something lol. I'll just go talk to the Da Jie boss tomorrow or something and find out what the heck is going on. I hope I reach the day when I can not care as much but right now I simply can't.

Good Night

So wake me up when it's all over

When I'm wiser and I'm older 

Understanding

Hey there old friend, sorry I haven't posted in a while. Need to dust you off more often before I forget you hahaha.

So last week we had Annual Camp plus Air Comp and stuff. Annual Camp first.

It started on Friday afternoon but I only went down in the evening. Can't remember why though, probably PW or something. Funny thing was that Zhi Ming keep asking me come, in the end he was the latest there. Reached around 6 then called him and he JUST WOKE UP LOL. More or less derped around the 2 classrooms they were having lectures in. Kinda sad to see the state of the unit. There was this guys sitting on a chair and taking notes using a table while everyome else was on the floor. The excuse being he had leg cramps. Since 3pm. To 6pm. Not sure whether to blame his idiocy or the NCOs' imcompetence or the goddamn parents. Haish. Xiang Bin came around dinner time so we went to the market there to eat. Zhi Ming met us there later then we went back to school afterwards. They still had lectures so we sat in. Bloody hell man that Joshua teaching aircraft recognition still blur also. While on the slide for the G550 still can ask me the "clarify" the Early Airborne Warning Aircraft used by RSAF lolwut. So yeah, that happened. Watched Zhi Ming play some DOTA before I left for home. Saturday evening, went to the market again for dinner. They were having tests so nothing much. When they went down for supper we practiced abit of flag drills, cos Zhi Ming and Ze Bin were applying for COC POP Ensigns. Did some retarded shit and PDS for a bit also hahaha. Debriefed the NCOs after that, and talked quite a bit with them about the unit. Sigh, actually a lot of the problems is cos of the retarded CCA HOD. Fucking biased and no idea what he's doing. Because of him a lot of the placements for CCA screwed up, and coupled with the IP system, no one has any real incentive to turn up for training. Oh well. Watched White House Down that night till about 2plus. Damn funny cos Ze Bin was like "Eh stay up the whole night la" then land up Xiang Bin and I were the sole survivors. Went for a quick bunk check before we went to sleep. Woke up the next morning to take PT. Wah honestly sia, their physical standard after a year can die one. The sec 1s cant even do 10 standard holy shiet. Went home to get ready for church around 7plus. Overall, kind of okay camp I guess. Could have been worse, but it was definitely not up to standards. Sigh, seems like the unit is dying. And to be honest, I'm wiping my hands clean of this soon already.

Moving on to Air Comp. Stayed in the previous night. Went in quite late cos I went to watch Vincent  Gabriel and Sarah climb for National team selections. (Vince and Sarah got in haha super happy and proud of them). Had a super retarded time smuggling in Zhi Ming's laptop lol, but no one cared. Just sorted out most of the logistics stuff before we went to sleep. So the next day morning went quite well luh I guess. Met the external judge who was helping me (didn't really like him but he was okay la). Everything was going smoothly - we were ahead of schedule - until the DCs decided to be anal about the AI. So cos of that, we had to go a second round for both Part As and Bs. And it was damn hot outside so I became super black lol. Had lunch and stuff before we tried to wrap things up (Omg I miss the canteen chicken damn shiokkkk). The last thing for the day was the 1m for Part C limbo. I was damn bored so I decided to give some retarded live commentary. It was freakinggggg winddyyyyy but Joshua managed to clear the bar holy shietttt (I think half-tyco though). Then it started freaking pouring so we moved everyone into the MPH and just closed up with what we could. We finished up the rest of the limbo the next morning. All the COs decided to completely reset everything so Joshua lost his score. In the end, North View won the category, and took 2nd place over our 3rd cos of that. Sigh. To be honest I thought that it shouldn't be up to the TOs to decide how the competition to be run. Even Danial thought it would have been fair to let Joshua keep his score. But oh well, what's done is done. Might feedback to the DC that they should lower the weightage for Part C. And that kinda concluded Air Comp 2013. 

Come on, come on, turn a little faster. Come on, come on, the world will follow after. 

Well I guess it's only starting to sink in now. But there's nothing much more to say I think, not that it really matters. I'm just happy I got all of what I wanted to say out. And the retention of hope, keeps most people going. So maybe yes, I'll try. As long as you're happy:) And although it's 2 different things, I think it still applies, that it's proved in the letting go. 

Good Night 

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done