Fenlands

Sigh, been a while since I last posted. Quite a bit's happened but nothing of importance lately really. Just some things I need to get off my chest. Exam prep still going pretty slowly. Realised that since I slept through a lot of the earlier part of the year, the topics they did then I really damn noob especially for maths. My inequalities and functions are pretty weak. Then there's still the problem of later topics which, though I kinda sorta understand, are alr hard themselves. Physics is still okay except for superposition which just sucks balls. Need to go through earlier topics again as well. Lit is well... lit lol. And econs I've more or less covered the syllabus, but need to read through one more time. All in all, meh :P

Onwards

I guess maybe after a while you just got bored. Or something. All I know is that it used to be happier. I still remember you know. When it was nice to be dependable. Fuck. There's a lot running through my head now and I have NO IDEA how the FUCK to get it out ohgod. Normally I just put it in words and there was never a problem fuck this shit. Just so, so, so disappointed. Again and again. And I'm not saying that you can't accept stuff but like, to me it just seems being nice gets taken advantage of all the time because in the end nobody cares innit? And words, in the end, are just words. You say something and tell something but it doesn't. Really. If you mean it them I apologise. But it's odd cos every time I was the only one left after something bad happened, I hoped and prayed and wished. And tried. To make it better. To soften the shitty blow dealt. Or even if there was nothing, it was nice to be reassuring sometimes. But whatever. Because even though I just burned it was nothing. Not even a simple word. Too busy saying good bye. Then again, I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong, that it was just a change in circumstances. But I know that now, whether it matters to you? Nah. I've just ceased to be anything of interest again eesh. But I think that no, I'm not going to give up. The funny thing is that 5 years ago I was always looking for the approval of others. And I told myself never. I won't be subject to others again. But this time. So no, I'm not going to wallow. I'll just learn to accept the disappointment as it comes and when it eventually culminates... well I can't say I wasn't expecting it. I hope maybe one day you'll realise as well that maybe it's better to at least show something :P

Good Night

Just put up a middle finger to the sky
Let them know we’re still rock ‘n roll