A short ranty post just because
Getting super super irritated over nothing again but I can't say it cos it's just so fucking retarded. To any other person and even to myself it's an irrational clingy-ness, borderline madness. And that stupid green monster is showing itself again. Need to really wake the fuck up and realise my standing. Because after all it's still like 2 against what, half? The one's who get there first are the victors. I want to say I can't help it but that goes against everything I've said and it'd be hypocritical to do so. Never felt so down before and I can't even figure out why. Ok I know why but I should be able to fucking suppress this shit wtf. And I know that after like a few days I'll come back and look at this post thinking "what a whiny little bitch" but for now this venting will suffice. I guess maybe cos I used to think that this was always reserved (even know I knew otherwise) yet every time I realise, it just destroys that selfish notion. It really is selfishness on my part because wtf I can't even say that I'm the most suitable and shit and just that well not being up there sucks but it makes sense doesn't it. Or maybe I just thought that if I was the only one at this time it actually meant something and there was a glimmer of hope. For the longest time I guess I could put reality at the back of my mind because I didn't notice any signs for the longest fucking time. But I knew. I knew that it was still happening every other day and all I can hope for is that you weren't the one that started it. But I guess that's the case any other time. And even if it wasn't you it's not as if it wasn't welcome. And if I was in the other side's shoes I know I'd feel just as irritated actually but everyone always believe they're in the right innit. Oh well. Maybe I should just quit fucking whining like I tell everyone else to and actually get some shit done. And I hope this post won't be a reason but if it happens I guess it would be so whatever. It's something at least. Admire Timo for his courage and his willingness to get shit done because honestly he doesn't give a fuck when it comes to things standing between him and his happyness (Yes my English isn't that bad I just like thinking of the movie)
And I guess this is relevant (And actually really touching) but I know I'm gonna regret linking this sooner or later LOL.
Good Night
I was never good enough
To be anything but a remedy
