So Boulderactive was kinda retarded lol. Thinking about it, the routes were relatively easy. But I blanked out a lot at the start, so wasted a lot of time/attempts. But all in all, it was really quite fun :D The experience was pretty nice too, though we didn't do well. Just for fun anyways, hopefully can learn more from this and plan better for Gravical. The only thing I didn't like was the flash format they used cos there really wasn't a lot of time. Oh and and and I saw Ma'am Angela there!!! It was so cool haven't seen her in AGES plus she's leaving ohgosh I'm gonna miss her :( Damn respect for her cos she also went for Hair For Hope even though she like damn zilian HAHAHAHA but its k its the inside that counts. All the best ma'am! :D
If this was a movie you'd be here by now
Wandered off again that day even though I told myself I wouldn't. So tired. So tired of it all. Even though I dread it I sort of hope that day comes faster. And then when everything is settled I hope I feel better about it. For some reason I find it damn amusing that I'm preparing myself so much for it even though it probably doesn't make any difference anyway. Maybe years down I'll look back at the me now and ask "Was it all worth it? To drain yourself. To spend the night awake and thinking. And finally realising that it won't happen?" And I guess my answer to future me would be "Yes". Because I don't want to spend my life regretting. Because if God forbid something happened I would never forgive myself for not doing what I could have done. And in this I also realise how similar both of you are. Someone mentioned something about testing your limits. And though this isn't fully accurate I guess its true in both cases to a certain extent. Maybe all anyone searches for is just a sense of reassurance that's all. But is it worth to split yourself up so much just for that? Jack of all trades but master of none. I rmb saying something about having a supersoldier instead of an army of incompetence and that still holds true. Why try so hard for so many people, you're just gonna wear yourself out? I guess I'm speaking to both of you, even one makes more of a difference anyway. If you can't prioritise then just tell me I'll effing take it. I'm trying more than once. I understand okay, I get it. At least say you can't be bothered. Not angry, just disappointed, which I hoped never to be. A punching bag nevermind, even after all those and some simple listening back isn't enough? But sokay that's the whole meaning of unconditional isn't it? Been a tissue paper before, can be one again. Just know the alienation of not concentrating.
At least this is a short week, maybe can relax AND go LAN possibly. Finally Silver 5 after my 4th promo series.
Good Night
Walk the tightrope
To hold on to you
