Had this in my backlog for a while, posting it today.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just another on the screen lol. I don't get it lah. I know already, yet still degrade myself to that level. Can never measure up, yet hope. And I realise exactly. Keep telling everyone things, maybe I should listen to myself sometimes. Suck thumbbbbb. Can't expect too much also right :P Sometimes I think maybe you understand it yourself and that it's getting to your head. But then again I don't really believe that's the case. Because then I recall why kena in the first place. I guess some people are just built a certain way. So yeah.. but it's damn irritating! Like I go in, check, so many times alr. Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't know. YA when I don't know, then keep having this mini debate in my head LOL. Even though I tell myself to stop acting like some retard because I understand alr yet still force myself. Siannnnnnnn. I need to freaking figure out what I want to do now. One moment ballstothewall, next moment reconsider the consequences. Don't want to be the third one shot in the foot. Bam, ouchhhhhh.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just another on the screen lol. I don't get it lah. I know already, yet still degrade myself to that level. Can never measure up, yet hope. And I realise exactly. Keep telling everyone things, maybe I should listen to myself sometimes. Suck thumbbbbb. Can't expect too much also right :P Sometimes I think maybe you understand it yourself and that it's getting to your head. But then again I don't really believe that's the case. Because then I recall why kena in the first place. I guess some people are just built a certain way. So yeah.. but it's damn irritating! Like I go in, check, so many times alr. Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't know. YA when I don't know, then keep having this mini debate in my head LOL. Even though I tell myself to stop acting like some retard because I understand alr yet still force myself. Siannnnnnnn. I need to freaking figure out what I want to do now. One moment ballstothewall, next moment reconsider the consequences. Don't want to be the third one shot in the foot. Bam, ouchhhhhh.
Gosh I just realised how I totally made no sense LOL
And you, I really dont know what happened. You were the best of us. And now. It scares me to think that even back then those years ago, he might've been right about you. At the time I just dismissed it, but now. How. I understand what happened, just not why. It wasn't because of that, I know for sure. Or maybe everything's just getting into your head too. The worst part is that I can't even find an excuse. Don't complain if you brought it upon yourself.
Typing this on my phone and there's this cute grandma sitting beside. Apparently she taught A Maths up to Year 6? Hahaha then she telling me how got uni people come to observe her and ask her to go train teachers in Malaysia. But she was all like "Nuh uh I ain't yo bitch". LOL ok she just told them she wanted to retire instead. Then she said "Concentrate on what you are doing now, don't bother too much with daily life. You will enjoy later". And somehow I got this feeling the big guy up there was trying to tell me something :)
Maybe one day I'll stop trying to find stupid reasons. But for now, I'll just wait till it's chill enough ^^
Oh shit. If only i could take this.
Good Night
And to learn without faith the sky isn't as blue
