Stories

Well everyone has theirs innit? When i looked over, i guess that was when i realised i should just give up.

Was looking through my previous posts and realising that gosh did i sound like an over-dramatic emotional retard. Okay maybe i still do now but its not as bad (I hope).

We had some CCA walkabout on wednesday to help us choose. Though I don't really have to join an internal CCA, Mr Seet encouraged us to do so. Find it damn cool that he was from VS Air last time! Then he went to ODAC, which I'll try applying for. If not then I'll settle for rock climbing which sounds pretty good also! ^^ Xiang Bin was saying how he looked forward to the camp, and i cant say i disagree with him LOL. Been a while since i've been put under a hiong camp, might relish this chance to do so. After all, YOLO HAHAHA.

See ah this is what it means to live. I guess one day i will, but i guess that'll be a long way down, and by then i just hope that everyone's happy. The GP teacher passed us a paper the other day asking us to write 5 "i believe"s. One of them was loyalty to friends. Which kind of describes my decisions now, and something i live by. Another one was that we should always try our best so we don't regret later. More or less yeah.... gosh my maths teacher really CMI T.T

Dozing off already.

The lit dept intro-ed themselves today and they' re all super cool! Glad i took lit. Ms Sng is so fun-quirky, and Ms Chia sounds like a badass LOL. But the thing that got me was the selections by the teachers. The one by the HOD really was beautiful. I hope i can write like that some day.

Tonight at Noon

Goodnight

Accidents

Probably one of the worst ideas I feel, but too bad it's something I can't control. I keep trying to find the proper reason why kena until like that, even I tio drag in. But the initial reason I had was gone recently. I still don't know what to make of it lol.

Well orientation finished yesterday night. I swear AG is so much better than OG. My OG is like damn split/dead/splitdead. I couldn't care less really. And I realised what annoys me a lot is people who just give up for trivial reasons. Like even if you don't like it, if everyone else is trying, at least give them some face too. The activities for the OG stuff was actually ok lah, but it was mostly going through the motions. Came to the conclusion that the AG/OG thing was a bad idea. Everyone should have stuck. Cos after going to OG, people kept thinking about their AG so no one bothered to give a shit about OG. Though for me doesn't really matter cos I was damn quiet either way. Although to think of it, the lunch at Old Airport Road was a good one I enjoyed. Spoke up more. My class itself, have to wait and see bah. I think it'll be something I grow into eventually. I think I'll be able to get along after some time :)

It's not low though, just trying not to get ahead of myself. 

None of us wanted to go for the night thing at first, but bopian what. Land up the people in my OG ask their AG/Class people come over so I'm just like wtf. Sat through for about the first 30-45mins, then a wild Ze Bin appeared and ask me join him. Jyh Hean was there too LOL. So we just did all the retarded shit together which actually made it so much more interesting/entertaining. Someone asked if I preferred single-gender school, I'd say yes I guess. Can do all more these shit without being self-conscious LOL. Then while everyone having fun some cockblock appeared and scold everyone for throwing the light sticks. So we all had to leave then and there. But it was still super fun nonetheless. Here's to a rewarding 2 years in VJ :D

Gah, was thinking of some stupid shit at first, really tempted. Now I don't think so.

But it goes to waste...

Good Night 

PS: I fell in love with this song omg. 

Conversations

I actually wanted to rant today but since I got that out of the way before this, I'll just bull out what I can because... well just because.

So yeah I got posted to VJC. At first I was dreading the travel time but I realised it wasn't that bad. Ok it is still quite long but it's the kind of thing you sort of get used to, kinda like walking to HQ. Don't think it'll be too bad after a while. I did try the appeal, but it didn't go through. Suprisingly, I wasn't even disappointed. I think after experiencing VJ it turned out to be a school I'd rather enjoy. I was even sort of hoping my appeal wouldn't go through so I didn't have to make another choice. I guess I sent it in so that I could tell myself "Hey at least I tried". So no regrets there :) First day of orientation was kinda weird but okay lah. Cos there were quite little people from each school, so every group had different schools, with the exception of maybe VJ IP and VS.

Had to wake up early next morning for BAWC, which was more of a mehh. Bloody Danial ponned, Jon Loke also. HAISH. I was supposed to teach theory which was actually a ticking time bomb. I thought I could still remember all the shit, then kept screwing up at the start. Ying Wei and Daniel helped, then after that I got to the more familiar topics so it sort of went okay after that. Kishore failed the test, but I think he can still come to try again. He does have the passion after all, so hopefully he can make it one day. The DC treated us lunch after BAWC lol!

Damn this post is boring. Thank you if you stuck through it. But I can't just be ranting all the time, people say I'm too serious sometimes. Everyone has their own intentions, I just haven't figured yours out yet. I hope you don't regret it.

Good Night

BoS

Well it's kinda late now, but I guess I'm used to sleeping much later. Sigh I have no idea how I'm going to sleep early again when school starts. Which is actually sort of the reason I'm posting today. I'm actually afraid of going to school. Ok afraid isn't really the word. I think "anxious" is better. New environment, new culture, new people. I don't make good friends easily, but when I do, they're family (See what I did there. Ok nvm that was retarded). But I guess that's the truth. And now everyone pangseh to go Hwa Chong or Raffles. Sigh, again. Maybe I should really just think for myself sometimes. You don't set out to get people to know you, but sometimes it's hard to swallow when people don't want to because of something you yourself can't control. But that's life innit. You take what you get and try to make the best out of a shitty circumstance.   Just saying, I'm not raging now. Nor frustrated to be honest. It's not even sad. It's just... suck it up. Bopian.

People suck. I mean now, literally, there is no hope for humans. That accident today, is already sad enough. I find myself wondering how anyone in the right fucking mind would actually take a picture of that. It’s sick. Sick to the core. And people continue spreading. You fucking mad? You lifeless shit, still can joke about it. That keyboard warrior on Twitter, not so big now eh. If you really did respect those kids and want them to RIP, don’t fucking spread the pictures like an insensitive mofo. It’s not even funny in the least bit, and I’m being completely serious and sincere here.

On another note.

I still find it kind of funny how the 2 groups are so similar in working yet different in appearance. That one person that will succeed while others watch on. I'm very sure this is the case, just that how obvious it is, is a different matter altogether. And how amusing it is also because the success stems from something they were born with, something you can't control. But I guess you learn after a while to entertain yourself with this situation and eventually, well... :)

When the time came, maybe I should've grown some steel. And you know what sucks. It sucks that if it was just different I could at least say something. But now I can’t. I can’t because if anyone knew I’d be in a worse position than complete bullshit. It would change almost everything of worth to me.

“I know that it's your soul but could you bottle it up? And get down to the heart of it”

Good Night

Frustrated

*wipes sparkly internet dust off*

There we go

I don't really know where to begin. I guess I started blogging again because I needed somewhere to vent. When I didn't need to it just sort of died I guess. Well this isn't a rant or anything (although it might turn out to be one), but I think I finally need to say things that I can't tell anyone face to face because I'm too much of a malawach.

Just that feeling a bit frustrated. Not just about the results. It's more of a ''Can't you fucking see I actually give a shit'' even though you obviously don't. As much I might dislike ''certain person'' I can't say I don't understand what he meant. Sigh. Maybe really, it's not worth it to give a shit anymore, even if I can't help it. What to do, you can't escape your element. Learn something called loyalty. Whatever happened to face to face? Why can't anyone actually realise what the fuck is in front of their bloody faces? You still want to act like that?

I'm not going to talk about my results because frankly, I don't really have the mood for anything now. I just wish I was a blur-as-shit Sec 2 again when we actually rmb one another.

I don't know what more to say, I can't even put it on this dumbass post.

B.O.H.

No one must ever know.

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