Cemented the idea that people suck today. The most heartwrenching thing. So today we had our volunteer experience at MPFSC. Was initally quite sceptical (skeptical, whatever) about how it would go, cos haven't really worked with elderly before. Plus, find it so hard already to talk with people of my own age, how to interact with the old peeps lol. Plus, Chinese wtf. Never touched it for so long, speaking today was like some retard, seriously. But in any case we were just listening to them tell us about themselves. And you could tell that they were happy already just to have people listen to them. So the ah ma told me about herself and stuff, then I asked about her family. And she was really damn sad cos they only visited her once a year even though the fking lived in Pasir Ris wtf, not even that far. Saying that even being their friend was better than how they treat her as their ah ma like that. Really felt like shit after hearing that. Just so happened that she was the ah ma of one of the VJ volunteers there also. Alicia and I decided that maybe we could go visit them every friday or so. Then the most fked up thing happened. We asked the granddaughter if she had their house number (in case we wanted to go and they weren't at home) and she replied "Oh can't be bothered to have their number". In my mind I was like wtf if I could slap that bitch right then I would have if not for the fact that she was, well, a bitch (Female). Really learnt to appreciate my own grandparents from that experience and can say that it was definitely rewarding. But the point is that I realised that okay it's not me who's being pessimistic but it turns out humanity is shit in the real world. Hope that I can cheer them up :)
I don't know bout you, but I'm feeling 22
So hard now. I sort of realised that nowadays I don't really do anything unless I see a need for it. So as a result I'm more or less silent with newer people. Familiar faces are a different story. But someone asked me "You don't intend to make VJ your home right?" And with unsettling certainty I thought to myself and realised "No". Maybe it's too early too call anything now. In any case the only thing I look forward to these days are N Air trainings in sch or HQ stuff. Hope this changes though, even if I don't think it will. Can't be anti social for 2 years :P And I also find it kinda amusing how the system is completely different. Back then it wasn't hard because being open and approachable was all you needed. Now something else comes into play. So well, I guess what other people say is true. Didn't believe it last time, but now I do.
Not wondering anymore, because I know. All I'd ever ask for is a fair chance.
If I ever let you know
Good Night
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
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