Brink

I don't like Saturdays, in a way. They're spent whiling the day away at home on my computer. Well I could do something about it but now, what's there to do? It's the quietness speaking again. The thoughts in your head. Then again, was sick the whole of today. Ah well. My tailbone still hurts from yesterday after falling from the first clip before clipping in. That, and my whole body feels so lethargic. I haven't felt this tired and weak in while. Maybe it's a sign.

I wish I could talk to someone about this who could understand the whole situation. Well I think some people do, just that I'm scared of just opening up. I think that since I can't really say it now it feels a bit worse. Because as much as I want to, it'd just be selfish wouldn't it? It doesn't benefit you or anyone else. Just myself. And it'd just screw things up. This has been one of the weirder things that's happened so far. It's good though, one of the things that's kept me kinda content. Then again, maybe I just didn't see it last time? On purpose? Was just kinda scared of something going wrong, and that I was gonna just land up as how I usually end up. Those were good opportunities too. But now that I think of it again, maybe I was just overthinking at the time. That in fact nothing existed at all. Hmmm... haha well I'll never know now will I?

It feels weird now. Everything feels weird and surreal. I feel like I've surrendered to the nothingness but then sometimes I feel so

Hopeful?

A weird and confusing coupla days indeed

Good Night

Some things will never be different