BODY! Y U NO CO-OPERATE!

Am I leading you on?

I guess there hasn't been much happening in the last few days. Waiting for a creative/thoughtful spasm from my brain (or what's left of it). I guess you'll just have to make do with this.

I was kinda thinking...

There's nothing worse than giving someone hope, then tearing him apart. The higher you are, the harder you fall. And I guess humans are just too selfish to do anything other than for themselves. Have I seen true selflessness? I hope that I have. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm confused as to whether I'm really confused. Mindfuck much? I guess all I've been doing is running away from my problems. I'm afraid facing up to them will just be disastrous for everyone. And I don't need that right now. People always say Carpe Diem, seize the day. Pffft. If everyone did that, the world would've collapsed long ago.

But I guess that process has only been slowed down. America and Europe are spiralling down as fast as their rise in the 20th century. Ironic that Asians used to be discriminated against. Well actually it still happens now sometimes. Yet we are the only ones who seem to be able to save the world right now. As expected, Obama's Jobs Bill faced much resistance. Too lazy to go find his Jobs Speech. Maybe I'll try tomorrow. I guess Obama actually is quite good. He has vision. Perhaps he's just too scared of what might happen if he fails. Coupled with the fact that America is still in the Middle East, I guess it's no wonder his popularity is declining...

Went to collect the Weston prize with Jun Wei today. Gargh caught a stoopid flu on the way. Tried studying History on the way there, couldn't concentrate. Same with Maths just now. Every few seconds *sniffle*. Ugh why can't my body just behave. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. And my mother just scolded me for falling sick. Like wtf, I WANT to become sick isit?! Managed to collect the Chem notes today. All the teachers seem to be chionging last minute also. Even Mr Quay compiled a formula and definitions list.

Are you leading me on? Although this is more likely just self-deception on my part ._.

Today can count as kinda productive. Sigh hope EOY goes okay... I still have Maths and Physics tuition tmr more or less back to back.

Good Night

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Lunacy

Should I be feeling guilty about something I'm not doing? (with the exception of homework of course) Someone once called me the monk in the temple. I wish I'd never come out.

Y'know it's kinda funny how when we're younger all we wanted to do was grow up quickly and take charge of our own lives. But when we actually do grow up, we find out that the world isn't the bed of roses we thought it would be. It's a place where you lose yourself if you're not careful. A place of problems, desires, emotions, social stresses... and then we look back at when we were younger and think, if only I could go back in time and revert to our old mindset.

You see, people do not mind being ordered around, so long as you can take adequate care of them. Don't you agree? As Steve Jobs thought, ''People don't really know what they want until you show them'' That's why it's just as easy to mould bad leaders as well as good ones, because people are never sure about anything, even about themselves.

And I keep wondering, would it have made a difference if I had got to either of you first?

I should sort out myself before attempting others', I guess.

Oh well.

The Man U-Chelsea match yesterday was a total farce. Both teams didn't look like themselves at all, miss here miss there. Clear cut chances, poof! The Torres one was the worst. Gilded opportunity, handed to him on a silver platter and he scoffs it. Joke.

Nothing much else... my mugger gear still warming up. I need it to kick into overdrive!!

Good Night

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Imma make you pay

My orienteering badge is being bitchy, doesn't wanna stick to the frigging shield holder. Yesterday and today, not much happened. But there was english oral today. 20% of EOY. For some reason I didn't feel anxious enough about it. I guess it kinda went okay. The reading passage was fine, but I did screw up one part. As for the convo, according to the teacher, I had good ideas, but needed to expand more on them. Looks like I won't bet Weng Han on this. Oh well.

If you read the back page of the Life section today, you'd know the Roald Dahl's daughter was requesting £500,000 pounds from his readers so that they could help to shift and preserve the small hut where Dahl wrote all his stories. That has to be the most stoopid thing I've ever heard. She herself is already in a relationship with a jazz singer reportedly worth 5 million pounds himself. And she's asking people to donate funds. Wow, looked at a mirror much? What's even more ugh is that the spokesman for the Dahl Foundation (or something like that) justified her request by saying they've generously donating 10% of their income to charity. Which is probably what most people can't even afford to earn in a year. I guess it's really hard to find true selflessness and generosity nowadays :/

Another thing you might have heard is that NASA is planning to go back to liquid fuel rockets, which will allow deeper space missions. And oh, cost just around maybe 300+ BILLION DOLLARS? Which also happens to be the amount Greece is hoping to receive from their next bailout. That is, if they can survive till then. It's kinda stupid how America is going ''Ohh no! We should cut spending for our OWN people instead of reducing our frigging defence budget, fighting wars in OTHER countries, which by the way, shouldn't have started in the first place'' and when Obama actually brings something useful like a Jobs Bill, I have a feeling it's gonna take awhile. Oh well.

I guess that's all for now, folks.

Good Night

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Emptiness

I guess it isn't helping that I don't have anyone to talk to right now to distract me. Suddenly thought of the lyrics to The Click Five's Empty. Old song, and slow as well. I don't usually go for slow songs, but hey, this one makes an exception :) "We're empty..."

Which is kinda how I've been feeling the past week or so. Actually, confusing, more than anything. I guess posting on Facebook temporarily releases the stress of life, but then again, doesn't really help much. I'm not making sense right now, am I? Gosh, I think I honestly might be going a little crazy right now, bottling everything up inside. Time bomb much? I have no idea what's going to happen when it does explode. Recalling another memory now, and of all things from Madagascar. "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave..." And isn't that all I can do now? Writing all this off the top of my head now. I guess isn't that where we reveal the most of our humanity (or lack thereof?)

"Y'see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are" The Joker (The Dark Knight)

And I guess the world really is going to hell. Not just for everyone, but I guess to certain extent, me too. Is it right, to wish misfortune on others solely for yourself? Probably most people would've answered "no". On the other hand, is it wrong to fight for yourself, for what you believe in and want, and think that you deserve? Rephrasing does have the effect of mindfucking most people.

Doesn't help that the other person is like a brother to me.

Am I giving too much away? Mm, maybe. But then again, doing it has a rather cathartic effect. Although I seriously have no idea what's happening to me.

Can't wait to grow up and clear all the stupid shit from being a teenager out of my system. It'd be nice to forget everything once in a while.

Just thought of NCC. Then again, I don't think that'd be too surprising. I guess I love it so much is cos it just focuses your mind on one thing, whether it's coordinating the drills, or putting your next foot forward doing PT. Really let's you dive into another world of timings and physical endurance. Kinda distracts you from all the shit. Then like cold water to the face, training ends, and you're slammed headfirst into reality.

God help me, I'm really confused right now. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the joke that is my life

Good Night

Mt Ophir/Gunung Ledang/Kim Sua

Haha I guess this is kinda late. BUUUUTT seeing as Saturday was total a stone day to "recover", and Sunday was more or less "busy" with homework, I guess it's forgivable :D

As always, I KINDA started packing late. Then again, the packing list was so inaccurate, it didn't really matter I guess. Apparently my parents sorta remembered the stupid deal about not getting any Cs at all, and as a result, "negotiations"... were required. Now I have to fulfill 7 conditions. Of which adding my parents on FB is Number 1. FML. In case they DO read this post, I'm not going to say any more. The walls have ears...

Reached HQ before 8pm, and there was only 1 other guy there. So we kinda stoned with the PDS AIs who were staying overnight, till about lights out time. Sleeping in the learning terrace, which was FRIGGING cold. In the end we laugh laugh joke joke until cannot sleep. Sleep already also couldn't sleep properly cos of the cold. Landed up 3.30 we go outside to the canteen and sleep there till we had to wake up. (Y) Bus ride there, was BORING. Didn't help that we just kept to ourselves. REALLY wished I had brought along my phone. Luckily for my sanity, Ze Bin brought along an MP3 player, albeit with really little songs. But oh well, at the very least I didn't go crazy.

Reach there rest, then after that had our outdoor activities. Flying Fox and the obstacle course. The flying fox was damn slooooooww haha, but it was cool actually doing it in the jungle, so that probably made up for it. The obstacle course was coooooool shizz. The commando crawl actually used barbed wire, although very little haha. BUT STILL... it totally owns HQ's MOC :D

The next day trek was hardcore. Wake up then hurry up pack our stuff then start climb le. The totally worst part was that the stupid equipment was frigging smelly from THREE previous batches. So the entire trip we were smelling 3 days' worth of sweat. Although you don't really focus on the when you're climbing. You just kinda will yourself to take the next step. Kinda wasted that we didn't go all the way to the top. Heard the view would've been awesome. Soooo we stayed at the end-point for around an hour (We slept for most of it) before heading back down. Forgot to mention the cute awesome dog that followed us from base camp. Haha fed some of our bread to it. Come back already, we more or less crashed in the room till dinner. The campfire was kinda fail, especially since no one really bothered to plan properly for the performances. Although the fire itself was rather big... impressive. Watched The Dark Knight before sleeping. Relieved to have something in english for once :P

Next day was sorta survival training. The jungle cooking was damn fail cos the fire was so hard to sustain. Didn't help that it started drizzling as well. Our egg only became soft-boiled (although according to the instructor, it was edible). The potato, total (N).

Going back was rather much the same, except perhaps that Lucas was more hyper than usual, and Ze Bin was emoing more than usual, probably cos of his wife :P Cheer him up also cannot. Sighh...

I guess that's about it for Mt Ophir...

Good Night :)